FFH7 - The Rise and Fall of Beeri Brawl

[Old Harry]

The exciting tale of Dangerous Hat's adventure...

[Dangerous Hat]

Not so exciting perhaps, but here it is nonetheless:

Beeri Brawl:  Well no. 2, what do you think of our starting situation?

Adjutant:  It looks like we are well placed initially with access to wine and crafting Sir. There are good city sites to the East and North, and possibly South. However the demographics screen looks weird – someone has been given a big military boost it seems.

BB:  Nothing we can do about that – let’s hope the someone isn’t near us. Now, how do you suggest we proceed militarily?

Adjutant:  We will need siege, boar riders, then chariots Sir. Also I suggest Currency for the Guild then we can hire mercenaries. Later mages in ships for coastal attacks.

Adjutant:  Sire, our scout reports fairy lights in the forest. It seems we can pay 10 gold to some angels and they will bring light to the world.

BB:  Sounds like a scam to me. Tell them to sod off. Anyway it is only turn 2 and we don’t have ten gold.

Adjutant:  Our men uprooted the tree and sent the angels packing. They left prophesying doom.

BB:  Ignore the gloomsters and doomsters no. 2, proceed with our expansion.

Adjutant:  Scouts report Ashen Veil is spreading rapidly Sire. To the north we have found Letum Frigus, and suspect the Illians may be sniffing around there. We found copper to the north, but ignored that and settled East – a fine location with a spectacular view of a charming goblin fort.

BB:  I think we might need that copper...

Adjutant:  Our Southern neighbour Sabathiel has converted to AV, and a religious nutter called Rosier is wandering around on a big horse. In other excellent news, we are offered a GE for 75 gold.

BB (cautiously):  That’s good, isn’t it? I mean the GE part.

Adjutant:  Yes, but we don’t have 75 gold. We do have 62 gold. With our 62 gold we can get Supplies to build something useful.

BB:  Do it.

BB:  Now, what can we build?

Adjutant:  A palisade.

BB:  You’re telling me we spent all our gold on a palisade?

Adjutant:  Well it’s a very nice palisade, it comes with a 5 year weathershield guarantee and in a choice of colors.

BB:  But... is it of any actual use to us?

Adjutant:  It may come in handy in the future Sire.

BB:  After that disappointment I am in need of Ale. Build me a brewing house.

Adjutant:  Certainly Sir. It will take 10 turns. This will delay our expansion somewhat...

BB:  Nonsense, I need my ale. Build it anyway.

Adjutant:  Sir, Basium reports he has built a no unit! The nation quakes with fear...

Adjutant:  Sabathiel is now complaining that evil’s reach grows by the year...

BB:  Well he should take a good look in the mirror.

Adjutant:  Rosier the Fallen has been killed! Cheers and extra ale for all. On the other hand we are the last Good civilization in the world.

BB:  I fear there may be trouble ahead...

Adjutant:  Sire, earlier reports were incorrect, Leptum Frigus seems to be unclaimed.

BB:  Yes I told you not to jump to conclusions. Solid evidence is what we need.

Adjutant:  Scouts report Basium has adopted slavery!

BB:  That’s solid evidence he’s a xxxx I would suggest.

Adjutant:  OK, we have Leptum Frigus! In other news there was a group of 4 barbs incoming, but we saw them off with few casualties.

*************

Later...

Adjutant:  You know the spot South with the gold and horses, that our settler which is 4 turns from completion was going for?

BB:  Yes, what about it?

Adjutant:  It has now got a city in it. A city full of demons. Its only Turn 128...

BB:  Don’t be so negative. Our warriors now have bronze weapons after all! Let me see the report...

[Dangerous Hat]

BB:  Send me more ale and a change of underwear.
 
Adjutant:  I fear our bronze warriors may as well use peashooters against their iron-shod champions and axemen.  I take this as solid evidence that we are screwed.
 
BB:  Courage no. 2, the Sabathiel / Basium alliance will stop them – what does our scout report Sabathiel has in his capital? 
 
Adjutant:  Four warriors and a settler. 
 
BB:  That’s pathetic. 
 
Adjutant:  Actually it’s more than we have at this point sire.
 
BB:  Wait, I know, let’s hire some mercenaries. That would be better.
 
Adjutant:  A brilliant idea sir, with just one tiny flaw... we can’t do that yet.
 
BB:  OK, then send in our brigade of bronze peashooters. That should do the trick.
 
Adjutant (doubtfully):  Now the Sheaim are attacking us in the West. They have a Minotaur...
 
BB:  What? Isn’t this supposed to be Balanced??
 
Adjutant:  Well yes, but there it is. We can either attack, or be pillaged to death.
 
BB:  Send in the bronze peashooters.
 
Adjutant:  Well our fourth peashooter killed the minotaur. The fifth killed a tar demon, but that didn’t work out so well...
 
Adjutant:  Sabathiel seeks to regain Trinity with 7 warriors and a Thane of Kilmorph.
 
BB:g  What on Erebus is a Thane of Kimorph?
 
Adjutant:  No idea Sir, but Basium has converted to Order.
 
BB:  A bit bloody late for that.  Where the hell is he...
 
Adjutant:  Ah, perhaps an unfortunate choice of phrase sire...
 
Adjutant:  In foreign news, it seems Basium has been killed. 
 
BB:  Useless waste of space he was.
 
Adjutant:  A second minotaur has fallen. Only two peashooter casualties this time. The tar demon has fled, more quickly than seems natural.
 
Adjutant:  Hyborem is now besieging Torrolerial, defended by the remnants of Sabathiel’s warriors.
 
BB:  Hmm, it seems he was right about the evil spreading bit...
 
Adjutant:  Marvellous news sire, we are now building the Guild of the Nine.
 
BB:  Guild of the Nine? The nine what, may I ask? Nine wonderous creatures of metal, sending forth searing fire to pyrolyze the demons back to hell...
 
Adjutant:  Sadly not sire. A slight peashooter upgrade to be sure, but not that great. 
 
BB:  Well, we’re desperate, hurry it up – and what about that GE you promised me was on the way...
 
Adjutant:  No, another GS I’m afraid. 
 
BB:  Damn, well, set him to inventing something useful in the way of demon fighting.
 
Adjutant:  Bad news Sire – the Kazad beat us to the Guild of the Nine Somethings by 5 turns.
 
BB:  Bastards. Missed it by (strokes beard) 13 gold. At least the GS seems to have sped up our researching of techs but we are still some way off anything of any actual use.
 
Adjutant:  The deceased Basium has demanded 300 gold.
 
BB:  Well you can tell him where to stick his demand.
 
Adjutant:  Sire some rare good news – Falamar has declared on Hyborem, Van G offers us horsies for silk, and we fought off another minotaur attack!
 
BB:  Yes that is good news. I expect we had better prepare for some coastal erosion though... how many of our cities are on the coast?
 
Adjutant:  Most of them Sire. Oh and the blight forecast is now “imminent”.
 
Adjutant:  Actually the forecast was wrong. However it seems Auric turned the thermostat down. We are now freezing and starving, and production is decimated. The good news is there’s no blight yet.
 
BB:  I’ve had enough of this. Let’s attack something. Hyborem is distracted taking the ex. Barbarian city of Dirage from Falamar in the East, so we’ll attack him in the West.
 
Adjutant:  Is that entirely wise, Sir?
 
BB:  Probably not, but we can’t die wondering as they say. Hyborem will only grow more powerful. It may already be too late, but send in the peashooters.
 
Adjutant:  The city of Trinity is ours, Sire! But there is a slight problem...

[Dangerous Hat]

   

[Dangerous Hat]

Adjutant:  Sire, a bronze owl has predicted peace and happiness!
 
BB:  Shoot the bloody thing.
 
*************
 
Later... 
 
Adjutant:  Sir, we successfully fought off a demonic incursion in the East. In the West the Sheaim troops are milling about Trinity but not really doing much. Unfortunately Hyborem has joined them with a multitude of axemen...
 
BB:  So, they have minotaurs, zombies, iron axemen, unnaturally fast tar things, a demon lord... What do we have? And what is Falamar doing to assist?
 
Adjutant:  We have two mixed battalions of bronze peashooters and slingers, ten catapults, one chariot, and two dwarves on pigs. Or is it two pigs on a dwarf. Actually that might be more effective. Falamar’s troops are either dead or scattered to the winds.
 
BB:  Well, what’s that GS been doing, have we got any magic yet?
 
Adjutant:  Yes, we have two adepts.
 
BB:  Great, what can they do to help?
 
Adjutant:  Nothing. The Amurites have cast their world spell.
 
BB:  It’s not looking good, is it?
 
Adjutant:  Not really sir.
 
Adjutant:  Trinity has fallen to the combined Sheaim / Infernal assault. Most of our troops were destroyed, but a handful escaped as we brokered a peace deal with the Sheaim. I fear it will not last.
 
Adjutant:  Hyborem assaults Mutanbo. We saw him off without too many casualties and he has retreated.
 
Adjutant:  Hyborem has returned, but our strong defences held and he fled wounded into the desert. Alas the Sheaim declared again, and advance with a strong force towards our weakly defended capital. I suggest you flee, sire.
 
BB:  No, I shall not flee. We can build more troops. 
 
Adjutant:  Ah, there’s a another slight snag... the Illians have cast Stasis.
 
BB:  Send our last remaining troops after Hyborem. Let us have that satisfaction at least.
 
Adjutant:  It worked Sire. We killed Hyborem in the desert with our final chariot. Well sort of worked – it seems he resurrected and is back. He advances on Mutanbo with a great host.
 
BB is silent.
 
Adjutant:  The Sheaim are at the gates of Ithralia. 
 
Adjutant:  They are coming...

[Old Harry]

That was a fun read! And congrats for lasting longer than me...

[Dangerous Hat]

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for setting up the thread. Thanks also to Bob C for setting up the game - it was fun to play.