NobleHelium put a question forward that made me think. "Why did I not accept peace?"
There was a peace offer before, where I gave a counter proposal. That included for peace that he gift the culture bomb city to me. There was no peace, therefore a denial of that. But then it hit me that I had recieved at least two other peace offers later, which I declined without thought. Why no thought? Why did I not even consider peace? My large stack was then on the way south, to threaten his home territory. I had a wish to inflict hurt on him as he had inflicted hurt on me. But, I had left myself open to that hurt. I had moved defenders away. Why? Then the singular event came to me. At the beginning, here:
![[Image: 2l91fgk.jpg]](http://i43.tinypic.com/2l91fgk.jpg)
The red circle was where I had a worker standing, and that worker disappeared along with a chariot from Blue player. He had gone in and disbanded a worker and subsequently disbanded his own chariot. Something I had not encountered before, being green at this type of game. I had already lost a worker before his culture bomb to his bear grylls warrior unit, but that unit had not been deleted and I considered that fair game. But a hit-and-run that denied me even the xp of defeating the unit I felt was a really, really jerk move. I have learned from sources today that this is acceptable behaviour in these kinds of MP, and had I stopped to think, to ask for some help in the thread, much could have been avoided. Instead, encountering this behaviour in Civ4, a game that I play for fun and to relieve stress, in what amounted to the most crappy week I have had all year, I reacted as a jerk in return.
I got the fix idea that xp should be denied at every turn. So with an army on the way, I moved away from cities I considered to be dead already, Blue having a larger army, I created a large stack that would take a lot to get rid of, moving it south. It was both to make whatever happened close to home be more removed/irrelevant, and to move Blue players attention to where I made it turn.
At the time, I logged in, moved around, logged out without the usual screencaps, didn't post in the thread. I saw that his army to the west was going for my largest income holy city, and I had a GP only a few turns away and the bulk of my army going towards his culture bomb city. Checking the movement, I would not reach that city in time. Again, I thought of denying xp foremost, moving the actual defender units away, but not fast enough, he managed to get one small stack of axe, spear, spear I think it was. The turn that he was about to hit my HC, I was last to move. I was dimly aware of the double-move rule now, but I had just gained a Great Prophet, exactly what I would have wished to get since that was a key holy city. So I settled it, to see what Blue would do. He took the city, saying nothing. I believe by this time he had razed Biquintile, and I went ahead with a pain game thinking that he was a jerk, a double jerk even. Again, I could have made some plea for help, but I was stubborn, wanting to do this my way, to be able to do it and make it work without outside help.
It was here I think he made his second peace offering that I refused. Then followed some dim turns where the main game was to move the large stack south and whip units in my other cities. Blue killed my copper resource limiting my army potential. I had before the war been on my way west with a settler. I sent that settler to a coast city to get away from Blue by way of a galley and sent a spear along with it. Then many things happened, Yellow player sniped the coast city right after I moved the settler and spear into the galley and went off. I set it to reach the closest Island and settle there.
At this point, some double move regarding the Green player was noted, and I responded to that. From there, the ball started rolling. When the other team made a public troll post, I was wondering what that was about. When I read in this thread from Lewwyn and NobleHelium that a concensus considered me to troll and play bad pieces began coming together, and I reacted to it, trying to explain myself without being really aware of how I had acted. It was the direct NobleHelium question at the beginning of this reply that made me really aware of my own actions.
I have to say that I feel like an asshole for doing what I did. I accept full responsibility for what I have done, and I really feel bad that my bad play has affected others, possibly ruining the entire gaming experience for them. I am sorry everyone. I thought about leaving the game, seeing as the other players may view me as a loose cannon and untrustworthy, further alienating them towards me. But I have a real reason to stay, and that is to be able to learn from this and play my best with what I have available of resources. I do not consider myself the kind of person that would willfully endanger and ruin the gaming experience for other people, expecially here in this environment. Now that this has happened, I fully intend to learn from it. To always report. To always ask. When in doubt - step back and get a second opinion from dedlurker. If this was not ingrained before, it sure as hell is now. But at what cost.
If it helps, I could post this publicly, or just "I've been an asshole and feel sorry about the hurt this has done to the other players." I would like lurker feedback to this, and what you think my best course of action is in this. If the majority feel that it is best that I retire from this game, I will of course do so.
I would like to thank Ceiliazul for his attempts at guiding me, and if you guys want me to continue to sub I will do my best to follow his advice to better learn how to play properly (provided he's still interested in helping of course).
There was a peace offer before, where I gave a counter proposal. That included for peace that he gift the culture bomb city to me. There was no peace, therefore a denial of that. But then it hit me that I had recieved at least two other peace offers later, which I declined without thought. Why no thought? Why did I not even consider peace? My large stack was then on the way south, to threaten his home territory. I had a wish to inflict hurt on him as he had inflicted hurt on me. But, I had left myself open to that hurt. I had moved defenders away. Why? Then the singular event came to me. At the beginning, here:
The red circle was where I had a worker standing, and that worker disappeared along with a chariot from Blue player. He had gone in and disbanded a worker and subsequently disbanded his own chariot. Something I had not encountered before, being green at this type of game. I had already lost a worker before his culture bomb to his bear grylls warrior unit, but that unit had not been deleted and I considered that fair game. But a hit-and-run that denied me even the xp of defeating the unit I felt was a really, really jerk move. I have learned from sources today that this is acceptable behaviour in these kinds of MP, and had I stopped to think, to ask for some help in the thread, much could have been avoided. Instead, encountering this behaviour in Civ4, a game that I play for fun and to relieve stress, in what amounted to the most crappy week I have had all year, I reacted as a jerk in return.
I got the fix idea that xp should be denied at every turn. So with an army on the way, I moved away from cities I considered to be dead already, Blue having a larger army, I created a large stack that would take a lot to get rid of, moving it south. It was both to make whatever happened close to home be more removed/irrelevant, and to move Blue players attention to where I made it turn.
At the time, I logged in, moved around, logged out without the usual screencaps, didn't post in the thread. I saw that his army to the west was going for my largest income holy city, and I had a GP only a few turns away and the bulk of my army going towards his culture bomb city. Checking the movement, I would not reach that city in time. Again, I thought of denying xp foremost, moving the actual defender units away, but not fast enough, he managed to get one small stack of axe, spear, spear I think it was. The turn that he was about to hit my HC, I was last to move. I was dimly aware of the double-move rule now, but I had just gained a Great Prophet, exactly what I would have wished to get since that was a key holy city. So I settled it, to see what Blue would do. He took the city, saying nothing. I believe by this time he had razed Biquintile, and I went ahead with a pain game thinking that he was a jerk, a double jerk even. Again, I could have made some plea for help, but I was stubborn, wanting to do this my way, to be able to do it and make it work without outside help.
It was here I think he made his second peace offering that I refused. Then followed some dim turns where the main game was to move the large stack south and whip units in my other cities. Blue killed my copper resource limiting my army potential. I had before the war been on my way west with a settler. I sent that settler to a coast city to get away from Blue by way of a galley and sent a spear along with it. Then many things happened, Yellow player sniped the coast city right after I moved the settler and spear into the galley and went off. I set it to reach the closest Island and settle there.
At this point, some double move regarding the Green player was noted, and I responded to that. From there, the ball started rolling. When the other team made a public troll post, I was wondering what that was about. When I read in this thread from Lewwyn and NobleHelium that a concensus considered me to troll and play bad pieces began coming together, and I reacted to it, trying to explain myself without being really aware of how I had acted. It was the direct NobleHelium question at the beginning of this reply that made me really aware of my own actions.
I have to say that I feel like an asshole for doing what I did. I accept full responsibility for what I have done, and I really feel bad that my bad play has affected others, possibly ruining the entire gaming experience for them. I am sorry everyone. I thought about leaving the game, seeing as the other players may view me as a loose cannon and untrustworthy, further alienating them towards me. But I have a real reason to stay, and that is to be able to learn from this and play my best with what I have available of resources. I do not consider myself the kind of person that would willfully endanger and ruin the gaming experience for other people, expecially here in this environment. Now that this has happened, I fully intend to learn from it. To always report. To always ask. When in doubt - step back and get a second opinion from dedlurker. If this was not ingrained before, it sure as hell is now. But at what cost.
If it helps, I could post this publicly, or just "I've been an asshole and feel sorry about the hurt this has done to the other players." I would like lurker feedback to this, and what you think my best course of action is in this. If the majority feel that it is best that I retire from this game, I will of course do so.
I would like to thank Ceiliazul for his attempts at guiding me, and if you guys want me to continue to sub I will do my best to follow his advice to better learn how to play properly (provided he's still interested in helping of course).
Sisu Wrote:You go to Civ with the BFC you have.
Commissioner Pravin Lal Wrote:"Once a man has changed the relationship between himself and his environment, he cannot return to the blissful ignorance he left. Motion, of necessity, involves a change in perspective."