This is based on my fuzzy recollections of the "Momus" scenario, but if I had to guess at Furia's canon background, she's probably one of the few Balseraphs so dangerously insane that she alarmed even Perpentarch, who then in his capacity as Erebus's Master Troll decided that "violently psychotic" was equivalent to "military leader of men".
Whew, that was a long sentence! Anyway, here's my totally unusable and grammatically dubious take on Averax:
For the son of a Succubus, Averax had astonishingly few passions, all of which were varieties of combat.
"OH YEAH, LIGHT THEM UP!" he howled to a unit of Pyre Zombies, who continued to passively trudge onward.
Averax leapt past them, charging headlong toward the Leaves lines with his axe lifted in both hands above his head. "I'M THE BADDEST MAN IN THE BADLANDS! I'VE GOT A PASSION TO PILLAGE! I'VE GOT A CRAVING TO KILL!". He deftly dodged an arrow, not breaking his stride. "NICE TRY, BUT IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN PINS TO PRICK ME... OR PRICKS TO PIN ME!". He abruptly banked to the left, crossing several yards in the space of seconds and decapitating the offending archer with casual ease. "I GUESS HE LET IT GET TO HIS HEAD!" he yelled to no one in particular.
A Priest of the Leaves stalked toward Averax, pointing his gnarled stave at him with barely-constrained indignation. "Trespasser! Defiler! Abomination! You shall pay for your crimes against nature this day!". He slammed his staff into the dirt, causing an enormous tiger to suddenly erupt from the ground beside him. Averax turned to face him, red eyes glowing madly. "BIG CATS? OH NO!". Before the beast could react, he was upon it in a flurry of uncoordinated blows delivered with superhuman speed and strength. Averax laughed with joy as he stepped away from the mangled corpse, covered in gore and fur. "I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THAT CLAWS AND EFFECT!" he bellowed.
"Half-fiend, unholy perversion!" cried the furious Priest. "I will banish yoarghhhhblarghhh" he gurgled, as Averax buried his axe in the man's chest. "I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE CALL A RIB-SPLITTING JOKE!".
So it continued for the length of the battle, Averax rushing from one combat to the next seemingly at random, hollering constantly. "I GUESS THE PEN REALLY IS MIGHTIER!" he quipped as he impaled a swordsman's heart with a quill. "IT SEEMS HE'S HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE!" he cried as he bisected a fawn. "THEY SAY EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY!" he announced after eating a puppy.
Eventually Averax found himself surrounded, far from his troops. Two dozen soldiers advanced on him in a steadily tightening circle. "Make peace with whatever God will acknowledge you, monster, for these moments are your last!" announced a man who may have been their leader. Averax flashed him a pointed grin, before heaving his axe across almost the length of the battlefield, eventually colliding with one of his own pyre zombies. The undead staggered briefly before exploding, triggering a chain reaction that consumed the entire area in a massive explosion.
Standing untouched in the midst a blackened wasteland of charred corpses and smoldering ash, Averax sighed. "WE WON THE BATTLE, BUT AT WHAT COST?" he asked aloud to the lifeless wasteland around him. "IF ONLY WE COULD RESOLVE OUR DIFFERENCES PEACEFULLY". And then a second later he was off, running toward the next fight.
Whew, that was a long sentence! Anyway, here's my totally unusable and grammatically dubious take on Averax:
For the son of a Succubus, Averax had astonishingly few passions, all of which were varieties of combat.
"OH YEAH, LIGHT THEM UP!" he howled to a unit of Pyre Zombies, who continued to passively trudge onward.
Averax leapt past them, charging headlong toward the Leaves lines with his axe lifted in both hands above his head. "I'M THE BADDEST MAN IN THE BADLANDS! I'VE GOT A PASSION TO PILLAGE! I'VE GOT A CRAVING TO KILL!". He deftly dodged an arrow, not breaking his stride. "NICE TRY, BUT IT WILL TAKE MORE THAN PINS TO PRICK ME... OR PRICKS TO PIN ME!". He abruptly banked to the left, crossing several yards in the space of seconds and decapitating the offending archer with casual ease. "I GUESS HE LET IT GET TO HIS HEAD!" he yelled to no one in particular.
A Priest of the Leaves stalked toward Averax, pointing his gnarled stave at him with barely-constrained indignation. "Trespasser! Defiler! Abomination! You shall pay for your crimes against nature this day!". He slammed his staff into the dirt, causing an enormous tiger to suddenly erupt from the ground beside him. Averax turned to face him, red eyes glowing madly. "BIG CATS? OH NO!". Before the beast could react, he was upon it in a flurry of uncoordinated blows delivered with superhuman speed and strength. Averax laughed with joy as he stepped away from the mangled corpse, covered in gore and fur. "I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL THAT CLAWS AND EFFECT!" he bellowed.
"Half-fiend, unholy perversion!" cried the furious Priest. "I will banish yoarghhhhblarghhh" he gurgled, as Averax buried his axe in the man's chest. "I GUESS THAT'S WHAT WE CALL A RIB-SPLITTING JOKE!".
So it continued for the length of the battle, Averax rushing from one combat to the next seemingly at random, hollering constantly. "I GUESS THE PEN REALLY IS MIGHTIER!" he quipped as he impaled a swordsman's heart with a quill. "IT SEEMS HE'S HALF THE MAN HE USED TO BE!" he cried as he bisected a fawn. "THEY SAY EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY!" he announced after eating a puppy.
Eventually Averax found himself surrounded, far from his troops. Two dozen soldiers advanced on him in a steadily tightening circle. "Make peace with whatever God will acknowledge you, monster, for these moments are your last!" announced a man who may have been their leader. Averax flashed him a pointed grin, before heaving his axe across almost the length of the battlefield, eventually colliding with one of his own pyre zombies. The undead staggered briefly before exploding, triggering a chain reaction that consumed the entire area in a massive explosion.
Standing untouched in the midst a blackened wasteland of charred corpses and smoldering ash, Averax sighed. "WE WON THE BATTLE, BUT AT WHAT COST?" he asked aloud to the lifeless wasteland around him. "IF ONLY WE COULD RESOLVE OUR DIFFERENCES PEACEFULLY". And then a second later he was off, running toward the next fight.