Gamebooks (Choose Your Own Adventure Style)

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secrets of the Singing Cave Alternate Endings Part 16


Never mind the edit in the last post!  There's only one more ending left.  


Zenan isn't as helpful here as you might think.  He says "Look, apprentice, I can't fight your battles for you. . .But what I can do is offer you a word of advice.  Either say what's on your mind to Manaria-you never know, she might listen-or go out on the grassland and kill your own vootbeest.  Actions speak louder than words.  You bring the water guardians a pair of horns, and people will listen to you.  Prove you're not the coward Manaria makes you out to be."


Chances are he wants to get me killed too, since it would be a solo hunt.  When I tell the gate guards about this plan, they say "By the waters, we've got a crazy one here".


It's so hot, the weather's probably going to kill me instead of the shredders.  But they're likely to meet me too, as indicated by zegar corpses stripped to the bone.


I see a baby zegar alone and offer it some water and dried vootbeest.  The reason I do this is probably because of legends of zegars being trained as hunting companions.  This idea seems to work.


My chance comes when I see a thorn bush.  Perhaps this could make an effective ambush point, because it's not like I have companions to drive vootbeests towards me.  The zegar's yipping distracts the vootbeest long enough for me to throw a spear at its neck. 


Everyone loves the baby zegar back in the cave, I get 2 bloodstone beads for the horns, and Zenan will make me a hunt master.  As for Manaria, almost no one is willing to join her hunts after I make my formal speech about her betrayal.  The kids name the baby zegar Squeak, but one day, it leaves the tribe suddenly.


"On your first hunt the next season, you're leading a group of apprentices so young you're worried they'll be injured.  Were you this young and vulnerable?  Your group comes around a bend in a canyon while following a trial and you spot a pair of zegar with their new baby feasting on a carcass.  The male, a huge specimen with familiar markings, looks up.  Everyone freezes.


Yip, yip, yip.  Is the male calling to you?  The big zegar picks up the baby by the scruff of its neck and trots towards you.  Incredulous, you scratch at the baby's fur as Squeak licks your face.  After a time, his mate cautiously approaches and is fed some dried vootbeest.  The rest of the day, the zegar hunt with your young team.  They make great chasers.  Together you bring down a vootbeest and all share in the meat.


That night, back at the stronghold, as you feast and receive a bloodstone bead from the guardians, the zegar family settles down under a rocky overhang just outside the cave.


There is debate in the tribe about whether the three zegar are a good or a bad thing.  But the next day, when the zegar give early warning that a band of slavers is nearby, everyone agrees they are an asset to the tribe.  But when the herds move on, the zegar go too.  The next year they are back with two new babies.  Yip, yip, squeak, squeak".


I may not have domesticated zegars in this ending, but I've at least tamed a small pack.  Perhaps the slavers mentioned here are the same band that captured me in one timeline and were shot by my prototype thorn thrower in another?


This book is such an improvement over the previous Blair Polly book I suspect co-writer DM Potter had more to do with it than him.  You don't often see books about cavemen on another planet, complete with political intrigue, mostly reasonable CHOICES, and lore about animals and tribal life.  Although sometimes it rules in your favor when you might expect to die, as seen in this path.


My only real disappointment was that there was no Death where I get eaten alive by shredders.


The next book to be covered here will be No Me Llames Tami if the blog hosting it works correctly.  Spanish Schlock CYOAs give us some of the best snark material.  Or it could be surprisingly good like La Prisión.  Who knows?



Final Results


9 Good Endings

4 Deaths

3 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

1 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Part 1


For those who want to see this book for yourselves, follow the link and click on the cover on the right side.
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"For a change (para variar), you calculated the bus's (colectivo) time poorly.  As you are able, you step through the Retiro ramp, unintentionally (sin querer) hitting several people with your bag.  You once again mentally curse your idiot brother:  as always, you're the one who has to take charge of everything.  And more so since Pablo, Poli, got that stupid job at the pharmacy:  he thinks he's so important.  You run around looking for Platform 187.  Of course, it's somewhere else".


The only thing I remember about my uncle Alfonso (who's really my mom's uncle), is his face that's been "bleached" by age and the Santa Lucía sun.  Wouldn't more exposure to sunlight make it darker?  I'm surprised he's lived so long. 


My family stopped taking vacations to St. Lucia about 2 or 3 years after I started school, and I never saw him or heard his name mentioned again. 


That is, until 4 days ago when Poli and I received a call from Vicente, a "municipal employee", who said Alfonso Montgomery had disappeared months ago, and that he knew he had to have someone contact his only remaining relatives. 


I'm out of breath, and I reach Platform Packard SA.  I never heard of this business, but there aren't many choices as far as travel goes for Santa Lucía.  And this is also the most convenient time. 


"Your worst fears are confirmed:  the bus about to leave is shabby and dirty, with its side mirror hanging and a crack in the windshield in the shape of a lightning bolt.  Although you don't know anything about vehicles, you have no doubt this sounds bad".


My only other bus option for Santa Lucía is another line that leaves. . .at 1:20 in the morning.


CHOICE #1 is to either take a chance with the dodgy Packard SA bus, or wait for 6 hours for another bus.


Extra Notes:


-Santa Lucía in this book is NOT the Caribbean island nation of Saint Lucia.  It seems to be a city in Argentina in the northeastern Corrientes province.


-Argentina uses "vos" instead of "tú" for its familiar 2nd person singular pronoun.  Some of the conjugations are therefore slightly different, like "sos" instead of "eres".  I learned much about this dialect variation from reading Mafalda comics.


-Both the player character's uncle and the suspicious bus are most likely references to Choose Your Own Adventure writers RA Montgomery and Edward Packard.


-This is the first CYOA in the thread to have an explicitly female protagonist.


[url=http://nomellamestami.blogspot.com/]

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Part 2


Of course, I have to take the Edward Packard bus in CHOICE #1 to see what happens next.  Hopefully it'll involve vampires! 


"While you accommodate yourself in your seat (that, as expected (como era de esperar), jams without the possibility of fixing it when you try to recline), you try to convince yourself that getting on the bus was the correct decision".


There are about 10-12 other passengers with me.  A "sexagenerian" with leftovers and a gold tooth in his mouth says something I'm not sure how to translate or even understand.  It's literally "What [corridita] hit you?"  Whatever the case, my character doesn't like him at all and puts her headphones on.  She doesn't have any music ready, but "it's your favorite way to avoid undesirable conversations".


He then chooses to read the crime section of the newspaper.  Every so often, he says "How horrible!" (¡Qué barbaridad!) or "I can't believe it".


"While you sleep, nod off here".


I suddenly wake up, but not because of the other passengers silently sleeping or the rain outside in the pastures (pastizal).  There's a strange static in my headphones that continues even after I pull the plug out of my cell phone.  "You look for a rational explanation at the same time that you get goosebumps, but your surprise is interrupted by a sudden braking, followed by the abrupt silence of the engine".


The driver tells us "It won't go more, eh.  Look, in a few hours the business will surely send another bus.  You can stay here and sleep for a while, or make a run to the grill?  (parrillita) over there, and when the bus arrives, I'll turn on some lights".


The "parrillita" is a building with "poorly illuminated bricks", and I'll have to walk through 50 meters of mud and overflowing ditches (zanjas rebalsadas).  My unwelcome neighbor gasps (jadear) "Don't worry, pretty girl.  I have food for you".


CHOICE #2 is to take my chances with the grill, or have dinner with the creepy neighbor on the bus.

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Part 3


Might as well stay on the Packard bus and see if I can get any clues about this static.


No, the creepy guy doesn't try to touch me inappropriately.  He gives me some sandwiches from his "tupper" and falls asleep.


My cell phone lights up with a new message from an unknown number.  "The message, between the absurd and the disturbing, disorients you".


It says "Please help me.  I'm locked in the bus bathroom".


My character realizes how improbable it would be for another passenger on this bus to have her number.  All the passengers seem to be accounted for, and it's likely no one went to the bathroom during the whole trip.


CHOICE #3 is to either answer this strange text message, or go directly to the bathroom to find out what's happening.  Somehow I don't think a bathroom on a run-down bus is dignified enough for a vampire, so I'll answer the text message.


"It doesn't seem to be one of those extortion messages that news reporters talk about".


My response is merely "Who are you?" in the "vos" sense.  After the "message sent" line appears, the phone whites out, and none of the buttons work.  My character swears at the phone for a bit, but then "the old man at your side moves in the seat, and you decide to stop insulting it in a loud voice.  The last thing you need is for him to see a new pretext to play the gentleman and try to help you".




None of my attempts work.  Turning the phone on and off, removing the battery, or taking out the chip, seem to do nothing.  "Poli told you many times to buy a paper notebook. . ."  My brother was right, and my character hates to admit it.  I can't even remember his phone number.


The driver suddenly shouts "Everyone, the replacement bus arrived!"  The narration says "The guy seems to enjoy leading you like livestock, and continues shouting at you from Bus 9's door while everyone is cramming (agolpar) to get on".


I make sure to sit far away from the creepy guy, and I see lines out of the corner of my eye.  I conveniently wake up just in time to see a sign saying "Welcome to Santa Lucía de los Pajonales".  


My grandmother always had a stamp of St. Lucía on the nightstand? (mesita de luz) to avoid vision problems.  "She completed her personal pantheon with San Pantaleón, who kept vigil over (velar) her good health in general, San Cayetano, so that she never lacked work, and San Antonio, who dealt with (lidiar) single daughters and granddaughters".


Out of character, I don't know much about the finer points of Catholic saint lore, except for maybe the Lady of Guadalupe.


Anyway, the statue of St. Lucía next to the sign has "long wavy hair, a white tunic, and shoulders covered with a purple mantle".  But its right hand holds a plate with "2 miniscule spheres", which turn out to be its eyes.  The saint seems to be looking at me.


I take refuge (guarecerse) in the small terminal building.  The ticket booth is closed, and the various kiosks and stores are too.  I see a sleeping man on a bench with "a face covered by the visor of a cap that was once white".  As far as I can tell, I'm the only one who got off the bus.


I shake his arm to wake him up and ask him where the hotels are.  "The man laughs with his face, without emitting a sound, and later goes back to talking normally."


"Are you sure you know this place?  There's only one hotel here, the Gran Hotel Marino.  I'll bring you there if you want."  I end up in a shabby Dodge with rags, old newspapers, empty water bottles, and stamps of the eyeless saint.


This hotel is way too big for the town it's in.  I remember it from my childhood, but it's seen better days.  "The same sky-blue paint, but dirtier and peeling off, the same neon sign, although now none of the letters are lit, the same filthy yellow and brown curtains. . ." 


Something's up with the receptionist too.  He raises his eyebrow, and "You'd bet he dies every hair on his head" because it's too shiny.  He has a "small perverted anchovy mustache".  Don't ask me what that's supposed to mean, as "anchoa" means "anchovy".


He gives me a key to Room 327 on the 3rd floor, at an "absurdly cheap" price, and recommends that I take the elevator.  But nobody's stayed here since last October, and I'm suspicious, so I climb the stairs instead.  "The eyebrow stays in exactly the same position".


There are 3 beds in the room.  There must be at least 8 meters from the door to the balcony, and the ceiling is high.  The only lighting is from a weak light bulb, and the rest of the room is in shadows.  The mattress sinks under the weight of bags, and the springs make a sound. 


Various sounds can be heard, such as the "rhythmic dripping of some loose faucet, the wind against the curtains, the serious vibration of the glass, the irregular whispering that seems to come from the wall behind the headboard of the bed".


My character's name is revealed to be Tamara, as indicated by her thinking to herself. 



After several pages of narration and dialogue, I finally get CHOICE #4.  Do I force myself to sleep, turn on the bedside lamp to investigate the wall, or go to the hallway to explore the hotel?

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Part 4


Let's make Tamara turn on the light and see if there's a vampire! 


"You stretch your arm to the bedside lamp, but the opaque and dusty screen doesn't help too much in lighting the room".


Now I can't hear the strange whispering.  "You think that maybe your ear is more sensitive in the darkness, but you don't want to stay in the shadows in that place again".


I now hear a sound similar to that in a seashell, and discover that the wallpaper on one side is poorly made, with air bubbles.  When I rip the wallpaper off, I at first see a "D", then a message "made with the desperation of 1000 fingernails":


"I'M DYING OF THIRST"  (ME MUERO DE SED)


Then I smell something decaying.  I turn on the light in the bathroom and find out why:  "You turn on the light and manage to see in the foggy mirror the gesture of repulsion that the yellowish water produces in you.  In it, thousands of particles of muck float, along with 100 fat, gelatinous, squat, and swollen leeches (sanguijuela)".


The door handle is unusually hot.  "Trying not to look at the bathtub, you go to the sink in search of fresh water to alleviate the burn, but contact with the boiling metal of the faucet repels you".


Pushing against the the wooden door to the hallway is successful, though it resists my efforts somewhat.  I end up in a room seemingly identical to the one I just left, so I go back to the old one only to find the stench again.  I return to the new room and find its bathroom has no leeches or stagnant water.  The wallpaper is intact, and the room feels "like you crossed a portal to a tropical microclimate".


I feel an extreme thirst, and the room is getting hotter and hotter.  In desperation, I head to the bathroom and try the bathtub, sink, and even the toilet, but there's no water available anywhere.


"You don't have a way of knowing how much time you spend screaming, hitting, and kicking the door.  Every now and then (cada tanto), desperation wins and you snooze, always leaning against the wall, in case you hear some noise.  But you feel nothing, not even the smell of putrefaction, of that yellow water with leeches that you now begin to yearn for (añorar) only because it's liquid.


The room has no windows.  You would have sworn that it did, but maybe that was the other room, the first one.  At a time, you wonder if it was a delusion and you were always here, in the windowless room, without water, with a scorching heat.  At the beginning, you lick your tears out of desperation, which grants you very poor relief.  But now you can't even cry.


You feel weaker and weaker, and the certainty of the end stops frightening you.  Now it generates an atrocious indifference.


You drag yourself to the wall.  With the last of your strength, you scratch the wallpaper and start writing.  When your last fingernail breaks on the final 'D', you feel a vague sensation of deja vu, but now you don't have time to think about it.  END".


That was a gruesome CANONICAL ENDING!  I was hoping to find a vampire, only to suffer the worse fate of rapidly dying of thirst.  If only Tamara could have "armed herself with valor", as seen in La Isla de los Dodos and 22 Minutos:  Tibicenas.


Will all the paths involve this many pages between CHOICEs?


Results So Far


0 Good Endings

1 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings


EDIT:  According to medieval accounts, St. Lucy's eyes were gouged out before she was killed in Diocletian's persecution, so that statue isn't out of the ordinary as far as depictions of her go.

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Alternate Endings Part 1


My computer crashed when I first tried to write this update.  I blame Bill Gates and his DINGO virus that activates after a computer is more than 5 years old.  


Okay, trying to force Tamara to sleep in CHOICE #4 makes her think of her brother Poli saying "Qué guacha, you fall asleep anywhere".  "Guacha" is an odd Argentine word that can be used for many things, from "orphan" to "bad person" to "congratulations", according to a WordReference topic.


I feel stupid for being afraid last night, which is weird because I'm currently in the room with the leech-infested bathtub.  Not that Tamara knows it in this timeline.


Apparently surviving the night in the Hotel of Horrors entitles me to "inexplicably delicious" coffee and "fluffy croissants" for breakfast!  The girl who gives me this meal never looks me in the eye, which is supposed to be creepy for some reason.  Could it be POIsonous food?


The town is exactly as I remember it, from the statue of a mom embracing her baby to an ice cream shop with a sign missing an "H".  (it's "heladería" in Spanish). 


Looking at a glass window of a women's clothing shop leads me to a page with a photocopied black and white photo "of something that seems to be a middle-aged man, with gray hair and a distant smile."


The note attached to it says "This is Honorio, my dad.  He was last seen on March 28.  If anyone knows something, please call XX-XXXX".


Missing person reports tend to unnerve Tamara, and she moves away from the note, only to find another one saying that a boy named Nicolás had disappeared a few days before Honorio.  Then there's another note saying:  "Mirta, please, your family misses you".  There are 16 reports like this, even one for a ferret (hurón).


Tamara considers chatting with Poli to let him know she arrived.  She goes to a "call shop" (locutorio), but doesn't have much luck there.  At the counter, there are many glasses of soda, along with a cockroach crawling around.  A woman at the counter tells me phone and Internet service has been out for days due to the latest storm.


Unlike Spaniards who "encogerse de hombros", this Argentine woman "levanta los hombros" to shrug her shoulders.  I turn around and go back to the street.  CHOICE #5 is to either go to Vicente who called me at the beginning of the book, or go directly to Alfonso Mongomery's house.  Let's go looking for trouble!


Alfonso's house is a cottage with "straight lines, wooden curtains and black bars created by the salty air".  There are also thousands of pieces of a bottle that Alfonso "broke against the pine".  My mom said "Far away from the house" and took Poli and me outside when this happened.  I later asked Poli why Alfonso did that, and Poli said "Girl, do you always have your head in the clouds?  Have you never heard him talk about the microwaves of extraterrestrial invasion and the quantum bio-cerebral cooperation?"


Poli then called me "Tami" in defiance of the title and said "In this house we do not say another word about Uncle Alfonso and Santa Lucía".


The house is now leaning on one of its sides and sinking under its own weight.  I go to the only other building on the block:  the Beba kiosk.  Tamara is interested because her uncle was always a gossip (chusma).


For some odd reason, the word for "block" is "manzana", which usually means "apple".


Beba's kiosk is described like this:  "generations after generations of cats had walked, procreated, died, and above all done their business on the small amount of merchandise". 


Beba smokes and says this "You went through the house, right.  I remember you.  And your brother.  Your uncle bad man.  He hated cats, and cats hated him.  Dark one, they knew.  The house has to be cleaned.  Or better yet burned, down to the roots.  You don't believe me.  The ashes into the sea, and all that he has.  You look like your uncle.  He leaves.  Bad man.  That's why you came, right.  Stay here.  That's why my dead eye is burning.  Wait.  It's not late.  Pacifiers no.  Handkerchiefs.  I don't know.  Maybe not.  There".


She ducks behind the display case (exhibidor) to get something.  CHOICE #6 is to either wait and see what Beba does, or slip away (escabullirse) and go to Alfonso's house.


Everything that follows happens at the same time, the meow of terror, the impact on my face, and the burning pain from its claws.  Beba threw a cat at me!


"You see.  They know.  Like your uncle.  Identical.  You don't look well either.  The cats aren't wrong.  It burned me.  Like charcoal.  Burn everything, down to the roots".
  

My mouth now has striped hair and blood inside.  I lose my balance and trip into a shelf with crossword magazines.  Beba says  "I knew it.  Bad root.  The eye never fails".


"You don't manage to separate your eyelids but you believe you have 2 unharmed eyes.  Guiding yourself by touch, you drag yourself toward the door and stand up."


Then we get a drawing of Tamara with many scratch marks on her face, and an ending.


"Recovery is slow and painful.  You spend the next 2 weeks in the small living room? (salita) of Santa Lucía.  Although they assure you that you're in good enough condition to continue without spending the night there, you refuse to sleep anywhere else or deal with any of the other inhabitants.


At first, every time that the nurse or doctor approaches, you manage to cry hysterically.  Fortunately, Poli arrives, and only he cleans you, washes your wounds, and applies creams.


The scratches scar little by little, but your face is not the same now.  You demand that they take the mirror out of the bathroom and prohibit them from taking you near any reflective surface.  The doctor later suggests timidly that you can get reconstructive surgery, but you act as if you never heard it.


If you did, you would never go to the street again".


That last sentence was expressed in an almost nonsensical manner.  It reads "Si por vos fuera", or "If by you were".  The conjugation "Fuera" isn't used for the informal 2nd person singular, so perhaps it's a typo?


Whatever the case, Tamara is disfigured so horribly she never wants to look herself in the mirror again, and possibly stays in the hospital as long as she can too.


Results So Far


0 Good Endings

1 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Alternate Endings Part 2


Let's not stick around long enough for Beba to throw a cat at Tamara in CHOICE #6!


Tamara was never the most agile member of her family, and could only watch as Poli "balanced among the branches of a tree as if he were a monkey".  Now, Tamara doesn't have the key to Alfonso's house, but she does have an open window available.  I climb what remains of the broken bottles, at the risk of slipping and "cutting a tendon".


"The elegance of the triumph doesn't last long:  with a poorly calculated jump, you get through the window and fall on a dark and dusty rug".  I'm not sure what bothers me more:  the dust, or the mold.


Tamara briefly reminisces about her childhood, and finds a disc in what seems to be a record payer.  This is very strange, as Alfonso was meticulous about keeping his discs in their proper places after he was done with them.


But then the record player is making a ticking sound by itself.  The black disc has no folder.


CHOICE #7 is to check out the disc, or explore the house.  Wonder what kind of music Alfonso plays?


The answer to this is NOT a written description.  This is our first multimedia CYOA!  Follow the link below if you want to hear a few seconds of some weird whirring sound or however you describe it.


http://nomellamestami.blogspot.com/2015/09/3221.html


I take out the disc quickly and look around in case someone heard me.  I drop the disc accidentally when my hands shake and see it roll on a pile of papers on the green rug.  These papers have "illustrations of beings that seem to be sea monsters, full of tentacles, scales, and eyes.  Many eyes that observe you. . ."


Could it be Cthulhu?  The book doesn't mention Lovecraft's alien priest by name, but it does make Tamara want to jump out the window again.  But she stops when she sees a photo of Poli and I.  What concerns me, however, is what seems to be a naked man in the background.  But he's not human, because he has pink tentacles where his mouth, eyes, and nose should be.


(Even though this "photo" is a black and white drawing on the blog. . .)


CHOICE #8 comes after I hear feet stepping on wood.  Someone or something is climbing the stairs.  Do I confront this entity, or investigate a bit more?  I might as well find out if Argentine Cthulhu is friendly.


But it's not anything like that at all!  A man with friendly eyes, a sky-blue shirt, a white beard, and a red wool cap appears.  "The mental image you have is of an old whaler".  (Spanish seems to lack a distinct word for "whaler" and just calls them "whale hunters").


"You must be Alfonso's niece.  We were thinking you would come eventually, but we hoped you would enter through the front door.  I'll introduce myself.  I'm Tomás Bigley.  I've worked for your uncle for several years".


I ask "But where's my uncle?  Is he fine?  What are you doing in his house?"  This is the formal "usted" you.


Another "figure" appears in the room, who's the boy from the call shop.  I cuss out the two for a bit demanding to know what is going on, and then "Bigley tries to calm you down in the worst way".


His next line is this:  "Calm down, Tami.  We're going to explain now. . ."


"DON'T CALL ME TAMI!" 


Tamara dislikes cutesy nicknames, at least for herself.  Hence the reference to the book's title.  Bigley smiles and says "You're Alfonso's heiress.  We believe you have the right to know a little more about your uncle's life."


The call shop guy says "He always talked about one Poli.  He hardly ever mentioned you".


We cross a dining room with random junk thrown about, and all this is a "static and asphyxiating choreography".  Bigley "doesn't give you much time for nostalgia".  He shows me a person-sized drawing of what looks like a giant squid, after Alfonso saw it for the first time.


They take me to a basement full of "boards with buttons and levers that are only seen in Yanqui movies about space travel" and "giant aquariums instead of walls".  About 20 people are here, and include a hotel waiter, and the guy who sells bus tickets.  Everyone is surprised to learn that I'm Alfonso's heiress.  The call shop guy says "But if we tell you, there's no turning back".


CHOICE #9 is to either learn everything about Alfonso, or turn back.  What do you think I'll pick?    



I've translated Bigley's speech here.


"You will have experienced some of your uncle's experiments since you were a little girl, of those the illiterate in bio-cosmic matters call 'rarities'.  Well, those exact 'rarities' are those that are going to prevent a 'plasma-light' cataclysm from wiping the human race from the face of the planet.  Alfonso came into contact with the beings that you've seen in drawings in his house.  He began to trace a plan of evacuation and rescue, but he disappeared before putting it into practice.  That's why we've decided to proceed with this expedition:  to find and retake the project, or for you to continue it".


I receive a diving suit and what looks like a "cross between a diving nozzle (boquilla de buzo) and bicycle handlebars".  Bigley tells me it's a "Seudobranquias".


Then we get an ending.


"No one seems to care that it's your first time diving.  Anyway, they expect you to fall behind too much.  It's not your intention to wander alone, keeping in mind above all else that your companions must carry harpoons for some suspicious reason.


Far away, you can see solar rays refracting against a type of giant dome, and they illuminate a hundred crystalline green structures.  As you approach, your astonishment increases.  You see very tall buildings connected by translucent tunnels, great gardens of sand adorned by coral, and swarms of vehicles in the form of a bubble that circle around that fantastic city.


And everywhere, the presence of those nightmarish beings that you saw in your uncle's pictures, living peacefully with people. 


In short, it all compares to what could come from the meeting of the author of "The Little Mermaid" and "The Wizard of Oz".


Something tells you that you can't occupy your uncle's house.  END".



Could this be a Good Ending?  As far as I can tell, the Cthulhu people and residents of Santa Lucía get along well!  And we have the chance to save a remnant of humanity from some vague plasma apocalypse.


The line with the Little Mermaid and the Wizard of Oz has some weird prose in Spanish.  I'm not sure what the "pasados de ácido" part at the end is supposed to mean.  It's a real expression, but an obscure one.


Playing these Spanish CYOAs gives me a strange feeling.  Perhaps it's similar to what PC RPG enthusiasts have when they play nonsensical 1980s French games.


Results So Far


1 Good Endings

1 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Alternate Endings Part 3


The residents of Santa Lucía are lying when they say they'll give you a chance to turn back in CHOICE #9.  Bigley's offer is one I can't refuse.


"Your voice is shaky, but you have no doubts.  You've had enough of Santa Lucía, the bus, the hotel, the record player, the house crammed with trash, and how they want you to get involved in more things.


'Thanks, I got here.  I'll let you continue in peace.


Bigley assents and shows you to the door.  You try not to look at anyone, and fundamentally, you wonder how you're going to go back and tell Poli that your uncle's house is being invaded by a group of crazies with machines who are obsessed with the sea floor.


For some motive you don't manage to understand, upon reaching the door, you turn around, only to see Bigley with a pistol in his hand.  Pointing at you. 


You don't have time to reason it out much more.  END".


A straightforward Death.  Turning down the offer to meet the Cthulhu civilization means Bigley shoots you even if you don't "know too much". 


Results So Far


1 Good Endings

2 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Alternate Endings Part 4


For this path, I won't confront Bigley in CHOICE #8, and instead continue investigating.


I run through 2 bolts?, and barricade the door with a chair, a trunk, some blankets, and some other stuff.


Tamara suspects there's something more to the black disc, but that's because she grew up hearing the urban legend that if you play a Xuxa cassette backwards, you get "subliminal messages about the adoration of the black goat" and "sacrifices of innocents".  I guess Argentines like Brazilian celebrities.  (I had no idea who Xuxa was until a Wikipedia search. . .)


When I try the backwards record trick, sounds start to play that start to sound like either someone drowning, or some kind of amphibian or monster from the deep.  The "devil of the water" then appears in front of me.


"You don't see any mouth, so you don't know if you're really hearing it, or if it's communicating telepathically with your brain.  Its tentacles are shaking around your face without touching it.  You stay as quiet as possible".


The creature says "At last we meet again.  I was becoming impatient.  I have all of eternity, of course, but you don't.  Two of your three wishes are left.  What are you going to ask for, Tami?"


"Don't call me Tami!"


So Argentine Cthulhu is a cartoon genie in this timeline?  And "Don't call me Tami!" counts as a wish.  No, Tamara doesn't remember making the 1st wish either.


My 3rd and final wish is CHOICE #10.  Appropriately, it has 3 options.  The first is to say "I want to cancel our pact".  The second is "I'm sick of everything going wrong no matter what I do.  From now on, everything's going to go well for me".  The last option is "I want to have never gone on this trip".


Let's see how Argentine Cthulhu can mess up a "good luck" wish in horrifying and imaginative ways!


What happens next is being taken to an alternate CYOA!


It's "Call Me Poli", and its taglines are "Choose Your Own Path To Success", and "Choose Among Infinite Triumphs".


My boss at the pharmacy tells me "Don't worry, Poli, we have it all covered.  Take the days off that you need".  I began to work here only 2 months ago, and I've already received 2 raises!  "Tami's" negative attitude results in "the bad attracting the bad".  Looks like Poli read The Secret after watching Oprah. . .or rather "The Art of Living" in the "Bubble of Absolute Happiness".


I still have to go to Santa Lucía to resolve Alfonso's inheritance.  This bus is "impeccable and spacious", with few passengers.  CHOICE #11 in this new "book" is to either sleep until I get to Santa Lucía, or "sacrifice the dream".


When I take the first option, I see the statue of the eyeless saint.  It reminds me of a time I threw sand into Tamara's face to make her look like the saint, and nobody believed her when she tried to tell on me.


Then I get an ending.


"No, it can't be.  You must be kidding me', you say to Vicente, the municipal employee that received you with some yerba maté in his office.


'No, kid, in these matters, it's no joke.  Your uncle's notary delivered us this documentation that must be 'How do you put it?' his last wishes.  He left you everything.  You're his sole heir.  It can't be believed that that property was worth so much.  And in the envelope, besides, was this key'.  He shows you a small key, that couldn't open more than a drawer or a trunk, and its mystery shines in your eyes.


You dismiss yourself from Vicente's meeting with a hug and walk toward the house.  The people smile at you as if they recognized you, perhaps they perceive your shining aura.


The door opens with a shove, and the smell of mothballs? (encierro y naftalina) transports you, once again, to the summers of your childhood.


'Ay, ay, ay, uncle, uncle', you repeat while you surround yourself with the trifles that Alfonso accumulated over so many years.  It's enough to tip over a mountain of aeromodel magazines to find it:  a locked chest.  Anxious, you almost break the rusty lock and you fall due to excitement:  it's full of science fiction comics, ordered and in mint condition.  You're certain it's worth a fortune.


Now the only thing left is to decide what you're going to do first, if you write a message to Tami about the advantages of following the law of attraction, or if you begin to send your letter of resignation to the pharmacy.  END".


Turns out the way for Tamara to succeed is to go to another Choose Your Own Adventure and steal her brother's life!  I especially like the "Llámame Poli" cover.


EDIT:  The "law of attraction" in my English translation of the ending is literally "ser acumulador" in the Spanish original, but "acumulador" isn't typically a word that refers to people.  I used "law of attraction" because it seemed to fit the theme of this path.


Results So Far


2 Good Endings

2 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

No Me Llames Tami Alternate Endings Part 5


This time I won't make Poli go to sleep on the bus, but instead "sacrifice the dream", whatever that expression is supposed to indicate.


"My name is Pablo, but call me Poli". 


As the text says "For some reason, that line always works when you start a conversation.  Maybe it's the musicality of the nickname Poli, as some ex-girlfriend you don't remember told you".


A woman on the bus introduces herself as Johanna, but prefers Jona for short.  Poli falls instantly in love for her, and both are so absorbed in the conversation that Poli almost forgets the tray of alfajores that a "stewardess" (azafata) gave him. 


She's going to the same resort as Poli, which is surprising to him because Tami always said it was a horrible beach. 


"Dad wants to open another link in his hotel chain, and it looks like Santa Lucía has everything needed to become a unique tourist destination". 


Yes, like the eyeless saint statue, the leech-infested hotel, and the kiosk with a lady who throws cats at your face?


We get another Good Ending here, because Poli is the luckiest CYOA protagonist in history!


"You have practically no time to see anything before Jona invites you to stay with her in a house she rented at the seaside.  Ten bedrooms, a swimming pool, and a sauna.  Every day, you promise yourself upon waking up, that you're going to go see your uncle's house. . .


But there's always something more fun to do.  Jona consults you about every decision concerning the new hotel because you seem to have incredibly good taste.  One day, you're tired of not answering Tami's calls, and send her a message telling her that you're not going to go to your uncle's house.  Now you have more important things to do, and if she is still interested, she should take care of it herself.


Jona and you are engaged in a month, and they also approve of you becoming the new CEO of the hotel chain, since the business is doing better than ever with your presence.  It's not even that you have to do much; a pair of visits to the business every week, and on Thursday you go with your beautiful fiancee to spend the weekend at a love nest in the field, far from everyone and everything, but surrounded by luxury.


Once and a while, you think about Santa Lucía and what could have been in that old house. . .until one day you forget it completely, submerged in the bubble of happiness and well-being that started a long time ago in The Art of Living meditation classes.  And it had its culmination when you met the love of your life in a bus.  END".


If Poli were the player character of 22 Minutos:  Tibicenas, the book would be a lot shorter!  He'd find a way to tame the wolves. And get perfect cell phone reception so he can record himself killing Guayota permanently without a scratch on himself or his car.  Then he'd make a fortune on the talk show circuit.


This ending is so positive it almost makes the other path where Poli merely finds a mint condition comic book collection seem bad in comparison. 



So when in doubt, "sacrifice the dream" in a Spanish gamebook.  It's even more effective than "arming yourself with valor".


Results So Far


3 Good Endings

2 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings