[spoilers] Commodore and Dtay are Sitting Bull of Inca, somehow.

[Commodore]

The problem with a proxy war is that you can't control your proxies. Maybe I should ragequit and provide advice and council to our side of things...Krill's been posting more now than pre "quitting" so I think we need to basically assume we're still dealing with Krill in the Zulu driver's seat. Don't think Elkad is long for the world.

Enough with screens of this one place already, Commodore!

In other news, I offered a NAP renewal to the Aztecs; if they don't accept we have five cats and a dozen knights one west of Empty Chairs; the geometry is such that we can either ravage the war elephant/cat stack out of Who Am I or burn Empty Chairs for free, either outcome is fine. Maybe I shouldn't have offered the white peace, but I figured we'd really rather just sit and tech.

...and stab HAK...and eat a bit of Elkad...

[Zed-F]

Regarding Elkad/HAK plans, nothing specific yet, just preparing to be opportunistic?

[Commodore]

Regarding Elkad/HAK plans, nothing specific yet, just preparing to be opportunistic?

Gotcha covered. I just realized this: Why on earth have I not been calling HAK “Mork”? It's 100% apropos here.

Yes, I know this Mindy is actually a dude, not über hot Pam Dawber...

Fun game is most assuredly fun. Tasunke is spamming out the OB requests for reasons unknowable; my refusal could be enraging him, or amusing him, or making him think fondly of the color blue. Who knows? The Spirit of Krill is still efficiently pushing forward into Elkad, though...with Donovan stuck vs. Krill I expect him to try for the Dutch again, and Krill killing the Dutch navy means he'll be able to sweep the cities on the coast very soon (Agg, so easy access to amphibious maces). We'd like best for Elkad to remain our loyal and angry proxy fighter, of course, but if he gets his spine broken we'll need to sweep in and secure more defensive depth. Haarlem is fine, but Maastricht will get razed (ideally after Taskrill's capture, so from him) and resettled 1NE on the hill off the coast; this still is a fine-for-food city (irrigated wheat and shared sheep), but much much more secure. If we can, ideally we could also take and burn the aptly named Middleburg and resettle 1E behind the peak; that little city would do nothing but push culture its entire existence though. Maybe Krill will wander off and Elkad will ream Tasunke; that's acceptable too of course.

The Isle of Contention? Who cares, that place got ruined.

But wait, there's more! Mork is pushing deeper and deeper into Gavagai, while reinforcing towards his two vast fortress cities on the borderland. Belisarius would agree with me here I believe; the best approach is the oblique one. The Mork cities of Belligerent and Grumpy (heh) had light garrisons when last we scouted them, and most (all?) of his hulls are off west working on the ashes of Turkey. From the fog, we can land upon yonder hill and fork both cities; we'll then offer peace for them to show out intent. These would be nice for two reasons; they give a solid naval base into the core of Holy Rome, and capturing them would give Mork and Mindy a limited theater to focus on for an emotionally satisfying “knock them back” campaign...if they push hard, recapture, they can get a little thrill about beating big mean Commodtay...and we don't actually care about the cities.

Playing the game is playing the players.

In the “stuff that actually matters” column...Warhorse's cascade is thus set. It's not particularly impressive, honestly...we're talking about ~70 base hammers out of the grocer in the end there...but that's going to be a couple turns knocked off of the Taj, so I'm happy. Spy goes to retep's capital to monitor that WE/cat stack, monastery adds a few beakers and allows missionaries out of a high-hammer city when we cut out OR, and finally the grocer helps that awful health a bit, so everything in the mini-cascade is at least useful, too. Golden Age in three turns, folks.

Winning now, but still within the “one huge mistake” range of that turning back...either us making the mistake, or Gavagai in his defense against Mork.

[Commodore]

This all feels very Norman. Elkad is defending Maastricht with just an archer and a spear, so Tasunke, who owns some Nav1 galleys to go with his caravels, is very likely to try and potshot it this turn. This settler and his nine-knight escort ought to ensure a replacement is nice and safe. Then we get ravaged by caravels, but that's the price of doing business.

Thank goodness caravels can't blockade is all I'll say..

It's been the theme in my last few reports to go from Elkad to Gavagai, but...here we are once again. This ought to be the site of a pretty vast battle this turn; it's hard to see under our chariot but that is ten landsknechts, ten catapults, six swords, four war elephants, and a chariot in the Holy Roman quarter, against thirteen war elephants, ten Numidians, nine catapults, and four odds-and-sods from Carthage. Pretty much evenly matched, then, but Gavagai goes first sooo...I think that's a Carthage win. Hard to tell 100% though, that is a lot of dice rolling. Gavagai does have another hitter stack coming up behind so I think this ends with Mork and Mindy learning painful lessons about collateral. We've all got to sometime. Our chariot continues on to find out if there are naked conquests in the back.

Much popcorn. Go go Gavagai!

Mardoc asked how the New Lands were doing, so here's this pretty picture. As you can see, all resources are hooked, at least; the last one to finish will be the silk there, chopped into a Forbidden Palace, which is going to be done in two more turns. I'm shuffling more random stuff down into the border cities, mainly protective crossbows to deal with Mork's preferred landsknecht mainline troop. All that's left is just mines and workshops with the occasional farm; this place is going to be a huge source of hammers. I'd say the investment is already about break-even...certainly anything after the Forbidden Palace will be pure profit.

Anytime anyone has a request to see something, please, just ask anyway.

Fake edit: I know the links I saved are broken, I'll have the fixed ones in a couple hours.

[Commodore]

Holy Rome looks to be reamed soon by Carthage, so that is most excellent news. I don't think there is a compelling case to push hard for concession; we've got a lot of advantages going forward and the steady course is probably best. That being said, I do think some demoralization of HAK might wrap this up sooner rather than later. Looking at thems that remain in the field:

-Elkad(Dutch) is fighting a determined and angry, but ultimately futile, war against Tasunke inhabited by the Spirit of Krill. He's limped his way to aggressive maces and so may yet hold out a bit longer, but I have my definite doubts; he's being forked in the underbelly, and might well get an India pile-on shortly. Probably willing to concede.

-Retep(Aztec) is a frustrated lump of an empire, easily prickly enough to resist invasion for another few dozen turns, but he's Joao with no way to go...and he's said in the tech thread he's willing to concede. Definitely willing to concede.

-Tasunke(Zulu) is extremely spoiled and erratic, and I can't imagine him hopping in with the hope of victory, he probably just wanted a lark. Joey was willing to concede, Krill quit, so...Probably willing to concede.

-Gavagai(Carthage) is big but primitive, and even though he's looking to turn back his latest invasion he's been knocked back again in the cursed blood-grounds of Turkey; the cities are infrastructure-bare size one charnal houses and his home core isn't exactly happy or healthy. His odds are low although he's easily the most psychologically resilient of our rivals. Possibly willing to concede?

-Donovan Zoi(India) is a bit of a cypher to me, but he's just had his second cakewalk one-sided reaming of the game. Despite his advanced state and his favorable geopolitics, he's been unable to expand or grow, and his windows of opportunity are closing. Additionally, he is unable to reach us directly to hurt our chances. I'm not certain how his morale is, but assuming no delusions...Possibly willing to concede?

-Hit Any Key(Holy Rome) is in great economic shape, has vast territories and near-us power levels...but he's about to lose a lot to Gavagai, I think. He's also busy right now on vacation, distracted, and probably is beginning to feel some out-of-his-normal-depth pressure. Mindy is a mixed blessing, encouraging action and generally militaristically optimistic, but that's also another “DO SOMETHING” pressure ratchet. I thus think pushing HAK now might very well wrap this for us. Not yet willing to concede.

[Commodore]

Quick hits, I've been nastily sick, so...Forbidden Palace two turns:

Plus native silk!

Holding the Coming of Age front:

HAK is hungry for our lands.

[Ceiliazul]

How did the hak/gav throwdown go?

[Commodore]

How did the hak/gav throwdown go?

It didn't; Gavagai is in Wendy's, HAK is in those woods. I'd take a picture but Tasunke LOGS IN FOR A TRULY RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF TIME AND BLOCKS ALL OTHER LOGINS. This is his third marathon session today...he finished turn during his second HOUR AND A HALF login.

[GermanJoey]

Well, we did tell him to stop logging in and out so much...

[Commodore]

Well, we did tell him to stop logging in and out so much...

Evidently. Now he's stopped the eternal login (although one hour for a turn is still high-end given size), and is rather logging in a billion times now post-ending-turn.

Anyway, let's get this sucker wrapped up. HAK's got to be feeling morale loss given his stalled offensive, now let's burn Rolling Eyes...

...and invade the Isle of Grumpy Belligerence...

...castles are dismaying, thanks Mindy, but still have good odds to break through with these super-veteran knights.

Also, of course, it's time to fire the good ole' Golden Age. We're not super-dominant, but we're pretty dang dominant, and being first to Nationalism means incoming Mercantilism, Taj, and soon Nationhood (plus Pacifism). Three straight golden ages, let's make this lead insurmountable, eh?

HAK is top power, interestingly, but it's all in a bad position.

There is an argument to be made for hopping in to Bureaucracy for a jog or two. It is summed up thus:

Almost...Ottawan?