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Herman Gigglethorpe · September 30th, 2019, 18:04

Ultimate Ending: The Secret of the Aurora Hotel CHOICE Map and Postscript

CHOICE #1, page 12
-Lobby with Jenna, page 63: Go to CHOICE #2 (CLEAR)
-First floor with Evan, page 94-95: Go to CHOICE #30 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #2, page 63 (Jenna)
-Grand Staircase, page 128: Go to CHOICE #20 (CLEAR)
-Glass elevator, page 37, 68: Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR, get FLOWER)

CHOICE #3, page 68 (Jenna)
-Taxidermy display, page 112-113: Go to CHOICE #4 (CLEAR)
-Manager’s office, page 16: Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR, look in office)
-Fireplace, page 77: Go to CHOICE #4 (CLEAR, get CANNON chess piece)

CHOICE #4 (Jenna)
-Aurora’s main hall, page 133: Go to CHOICE #21 (CLEAR)
-Dining area, page 102-103: Go to CHOICE #5 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #5, page 103 (Jenna)
-Cream of something soup, page 135: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, poisoned by soup, but wake up in the hospital)
-Freaky-looking salad, page 65: Go to CHOICE #6 (CLEAR)
-Amber liquid, page 55: Go to CHOICE #5 (CLEAR)
-Roast beef, page 152: Go to CHOICE #6 (CLEAR)
-Nothing, page 64: Go to CHOICE #6 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #6, page 64 (Jenna)
-Aurora’s lounge, page 49: Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
-Hotel kitchen, page 117: Go to CHOICE #29 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #7, page 49 (Jenna)
-Jenna searches top, page 28, 139: Go to CHOICE #9 (CLEAR, get ritual book)
-You search top, page 131: Go to CHOICE #8 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #8, page 131 (Jenna)
-ODD 2d6 roll, page 90: DEATH (CLEAR, crushed by bookshelf)
-EVEN 2d6 roll, page 107, 139: Go to CHOICE #9 (CLEAR, get ritual book)

CHOICE #9, page 139 (Jenna)
-Sling bird sculpture, page 34: Go to CHOICE #10 (CLEAR)
-Stack two people on ladder, page 74: Go to CHOICE #26 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #10, page 34 (Jenna)
-2 or 4 in 1d6, page 120: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, break candle, caught by Gus)
-Any other number 1d6, page 85, 157, 146-149: Go to CHOICE #11 (CLEAR, get ritual candle, bell, crystal ball)

CHOICE #11, page 149 (Both)
-Room 202, page 140: Go to CHOICE #23 (CLEAR)
-Room 205, page 89: Go to CHOICE #27 (CLEAR)
-Room 212, page 24-25: Go to CHOICE #12 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #12, page 25 (Both)
-Something of beauty, turn to page 79, 66: Go to CHOICE #13 (CLEAR)
-Nothing, page 111, 66: Go to CHOICE #13 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #13, page 66 (Both)
-Moonlit squares, page 82: INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, trapped when floor falls out from under us, Gus may come)
-Shadow squares, page 18, 142-143: Go to CHOICE #14 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #14, page 143 (Both)
-Chess piece, page 61, 150: Go to CHOICE #15 (CLEAR, learn not to read book)
-Nothing, page 150: Go to CHOICE #15 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #15, page 150 (Both)
-Cupola key, page 81, 88, 156, 137: Go to CHOICE #16 (CLEAR, get ritual oil lamp)
-2 HEADS, page 57: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, long cut that needs stitches, can’t proceed)
-At least one TAILS, page 121, 88, 156, 137: Go to CHOICE #16 (CLEAR, get ritual oil lamp)

CHOICE #16, page 137 (Both)
-Silver key, page 87, 42-46: Go to CHOICE #18 (CLEAR)
-Not sure, page 26: Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #17, page 26 (Both)
-Send Jenna to talk to Vincent, page 80, 42-46: Go to CHOICE #18 (CLEAR)
-Swipe key ring, page 116: INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, locked in janitor’s closet indefinitely)

CHOICE #18, page 46 (Both)
-Ring bell, page 144: Go to CHOICE #19 (CLEAR)
-Blow out candle, page 58: NEUTRAL ENDING (CLEAR, ceremony aborted, have to try again next year)
-Smash crystal ball, page 70, 71-72: GOOD ENDING (CLEAR, ghosts put to rest, but something still sparkles in the mirror)
-Read book, page 114: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, Warrick possesses James)

CHOICE #19, page 144 (Both)
-Four letter ritual word, page 48, 96-101: ULTIMATE ENDING (CLEAR, ghosts put to rest, Alastair returns to life, Warrick banished)
-Nothing, page 109, 71-72: GOOD ENDING (CLEAR, ghosts put to rest, but something still sparkles in the mirror)

CHOICE #20, page 128 (Jenna)
-Stick finger in statue’s mouth, page 53, 68: Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR, get FLOWER)
-Go to lobby, page 68: Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR, get FLOWER)

CHOICE #21, page 133 (Jenna)
-2 HEADS, page 21: NEUTRAL ENDING (CLEAR, Gus catches you, dragged back to rooms to spend night)
-2 TAILS, page 67,102-103: Go to CHOICE #5 (CLEAR)
-One of each, page 124-125: Go to CHOICE #22 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #22, page 125 (Jenna)
-Hotel lounge, page 49: Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
-Janitor’s closet, page 23, 49: Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR, get SQUARE cupola key)

CHOICE #23, page 141 (Both)
-Room number for elephant tusk, page 119, 93: Go to CHOICE #24 (CLEAR, get ring from elephant statue)
-Room is word, page 119, 93: Go to CHOICE #24 (CLEAR, get ring from elephant statue)
-Nothing, page 93: Go to CHOICE #24 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #24, page 93 (Both)
-Talk with occupant, page 32: NEUTRAL ENDING (CLEAR, reported to Gus by man in hotel room)
-Fire escape, page 127, 104: Go to CHOICE #25 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #25, page 104 (Both)
-Strange window, page 142-143: Go to CHOICE #14 (CLEAR)
-Cupola, page 150: Go to CHOICE #15 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #26, page 74 (Jenna)
-Candle 1, page 60: Go to CHOICE #26 (CLEAR, get 2nd chance)
-Candle 2, page 110, 157, 146-149: Go to CHOICE #11 (CLEAR, get ritual candle, bell, crystal ball)
-Candle 3, page 158: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, break arm)

CHOICE #27, page 89 (Both)
-Left, page 15: Go to CHOICE #27 (CLEAR)
-Right, page 30: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, sent into Limbo)
-Window, page 122-123: Go to CHOICE #28 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #28, page 123 (Both)
-Square hole item with writing, page 31, 104: Go to CHOICE #25 (CLEAR)
-EVEN 2d6, page 78: INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, you and Evan fall off, unknown how injured you’ll be)
-ODD 2d6, page 92, 104: Go to CHOICE #25 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #29, page 117 (Jenna)
-Roll 1, page 84, 49: Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
-Roll 2-5, page 155, 49: Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
-Roll 6, page 19: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, Jenna’s leg scalded by boiling water)

CHOICE #30, page 95 (Evan)
-Room 103, page 56, 138: Go to CHOICE #31 (CLEAR)
-Room 105, page 153: Go to CHOICE #44 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #31, page 138 (Evan)
-Room 108, page 41: Go to CHOICE #42 (CLEAR)
-Room 109, page 47: Go to CHOICE #32 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #32, page 47 (Evan)
-Vent cover, page 59: Go to CHOICE #33 (CLEAR)
-Roll back rug, page 132, 35, 126: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #33, page 59 (Evan)
-Roll 1 or 5, page 29: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, arm torn open)
-Roll 2-6, page 86, 132, 35, 126: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #34, page 126 (Evan)
-RED, page 22: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)
-BLUE, page 106: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, frostbite from door)
-GREEN, page 136: Go to CHOICE #36 (CLEAR, get crystal ball)
-BLACK, page 36: Go to CHOICE #35 (CLEAR)
-GOLD, page 145: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #35, page 36 (Evan)
-HEADS, page 84: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)
-TAILS, page 52: BAD ENDING (CLEAR, feel overwhelming negative emotions, trapped in darkness)

CHOICE #36, page 136 (Evan)
-Room with no number, page 38-39: Go to CHOICE #37 (CLEAR)
-Room 116, page 62: Go to CHOICE #41 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #37, page 39 (Evan)
-Step onto ledge, page 76: Go to CHOICE #38 (CLEAR)
-Skip room, page 108: Go to CHOICE #39 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #38, page 76 (Evan)
-Drop down from ledge, page 159: DEATH (CLEAR, will die of thirst in desert soon)
-Climb through window, page 20, 108: Go to CHOICE #39 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #39, page 108 (Evan)
-Painting, page 91: Go to CHOICE #39 (CLEAR)
-Metal clock, page 134, 14, 146-149: Go to CHOICE #11 (CLEAR, get bell, candle, book)
-Vase painted in black, page 154: Go to CHOICE #40 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #40, page 154 (Evan)
-Upend vase, page 130, 134, 14, 146-149: Go to CHOICE #11 (CLEAR, get bell, candle, book)
-Reach inside vase, page 73: INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, allergic to centipede bite)

CHOICE #41, page 62 (Evan)
-Follow ghost, page 33: Go to CHOICE #39 (CLEAR, get stone CUBE)
-Return to hallway, page 108: Go to CHOICE #39 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #42, page 41 (Evan)
-Bedroom, page 150, 69: Go to CHOICE #43 (CLEAR, see elephant tusk)
-Bathroom, page 54, 69: Go to CHOICE #43 (CLEAR, see hopscotch message, see elephant tusk)

CHOICE #43, page 69 (Evan)
-Hallway door, page 50-51, 126: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)
-Room 121, page 126: Go to CHOICE #34 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #44, page 153 (Evan)
-Fight unknown force, page 13: Go to CHOICE #45 (CLEAR)
-Listen to ghost, page 129, 138: Go to CHOICE #31 (CLEAR)

CHOICE #45, page 13 (Evan)
-9 or higher 2d6, page 27: NEUTRAL ENDING (CLEAR, wake up with Gus and cousins after unconscious for a while)
-8 or lower 2d6, page 118, 138: Go to CHOICE #31 (CLEAR)

In case you ever wanted to see the way I keep track of CHOICEs in CYOAs without having to download a Word document, here you go. They're labeled in the order I encounter them. It's important to list the page numbers because the gimmicks in Ultimate Ending books depend on them. The Jenna and Evan routes, as well as the endgame when you have both cousins are marked in case my readers find it more convenient.

You Say Which Way "maps" are simpler since there are much fewer CHOICEs and have only hyperlinks, not page numbers. Virtual Reality/Critical IF books require the most persistence out of the series I've reviewed so far, because the CHOICE count can run well into the three digits.

The Secret of the Aurora Hotel is as corny as any of the other Ultimate Ending entries, though the real appeal of the series is its point-and-click adventure game style rather than its prose or characterization. Well, that and mocking the stories. I'm sure my readers already have some remarks ready for Gus's negligent hotel management.

As for the gameplay, it seems to be designed to require multiple playthroughs. Some clues are only available on either Jenna or Evan's routes, and several of the CHOICEs demand picking a hotel room blindly, including the one with the elephant sculpture that contains the RING needed for the ULTIMATE ENDING.

Perhaps the authors made the later books more lenient. I got the ULTIMATE ENDING for The Tower of Never There on the first try because it was generous about giving players alternate prerequisite items for the final puzzles.

Herman Gigglethorpe · October 1st, 2019, 19:59

Ultimate Ending: The Secret of the Aurora Hotel Scoring Attempt

After saying multiple times that I would try to create a personal scoring system for Ultimate Ending, I forgot to follow through until now. shakehead

The ULTIMATE ENDING was 4th in the Alternate Endings list, and there are 22 conclusions total. That means the score is 5/22. Not too bad considering some of the clues were exclusive to Evan's path and I was dedicated to the Jenna branch at the time. But it still could have moved up to at least 4/22 if it occurred to me to use the RING. And if I had let Jenna get the book instead of trying to fulfill a nonexistent Morality Test, it could perhaps have been even higher. . .

PENALTY: CRUSHED BY A BOOKSHELF

This is an embarrassing mistake because there are only 2 Deaths in the book!

The House on Hollow Hill has a 16/23 score. Horrible, but it was the first Ultimate Ending I played, so I was playing it more like a conventional CYOA.

PENALTY: DRAGGED HOME BY MRS. HOLLENCAMP

Another shameful mistake! I hadn't yet learned the lesson that trying to reason with people is the wrong way to go in an Ultimate Ending book. (Unless you send Jenna to do it.)

My best score is 1/34 for The Tower of Never There. It's probably the only entry where I'll win on the first try.

In the weakest Ultimate Ending installment, The Strange Physics of the Heidelberg Laboratory, the score is 3/19. There's some trial-and-error involved in picking the correct rooms sometimes. No PENALTY because the CANONICAL ENDING wasn't ridiculous enough for that.

If I ever play another Time Machine book, I may come up with a scoring system for that one too. The goal would be either to find the correct ending in as few CHOICEs as possible, or intentionally finding as many setbacks as possible first. This may prevent my readers from being bored by the "failure means going back to an earlier page rather than Death" mechanic.

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 11th, 2019, 16:40

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Part 1

No, this is not a joke. There is a real CYOA named "Isle of Swimming Cats" by our old friends Blair Polly and DM Potter. And I will be reviewing it. The writers must have taken a while to think of that premise. . .

"As a chimpanzee settles into his leafy nest, he watches a mother cat wade out of the lagoon. Her kitten follows carrying a silver fish. Beneath this tree, the cats stop to eat. A huge crab darts out of the undergrowth, claws snapping. Hissss! The mother cat whirls to face the threat, her sharp claws springing from paddle-sized paws ready to protect her young. With a startled screech, the chimpanzee drops his coconut into the skirmish".

The cat grabs her kitten and flees as a thunderstorm begins. As for the chimp, he's wondering whether to grab the coconut in these conditions. Meanwhile, a "skipper" shouts at me to go below deck now that my watch is over. Below my feet, the ship "bucks", and "a fun ocean cruise has turned into a survival story".

Once again, this CYOA is in the South Pacific, but we don't know if it's anywhere near Dolphin Island with its false advertisement of "Danger".

"You awake to a strange calm. The storm has passed, but your head is throbbing. There is a lump on your scalp. In the madness of your last watch, you must have banged into something". The yacht's cabin is flooded, the sails are torn, and there are no signs of life (or death). Perhaps they left me for dead, since the life raft is gone too.

CHOICE #1 is to "pump out the bilges" or "put out an emergency call on the radio".

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 11th, 2019, 17:05

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Part 2

Channel 16 emergency call sounds like a better plan than trying to pump water out of a scuttled yacht. Besides, I don't want to deal with swimming cats solo. Sure, our hero doesn't know about them yet, but come on! It's in the title! You're allowed to metagame if the title is a spoiler.

"Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is yacht Wanderlust. . .' Flash! Bang! The stench of burning plastic fills your nose. Thick black smoke billows from the radio's control panel. Flames lick the wooden hull. You pull your tee shirt up over your mouth and click the radio transmitter one last time. 'Mayday!"

My distress call is a critical failure. Not only is there a complete lack of a response, but now the yacht's on fire. This sounds more like the kind of trick RA Montgomery would try to pull. My character has a life preserver, and not the retroactive "Did you bring a life jacket?" kind from La Isla de los Dodos. Trying to swim towards palm trees is unsuccessful when the current drags me to some rocks. About 4 gray cats rise out of the water and "Meow!". These are no ordinary cats either: "their paws are larger than normal and their tails, although covered in hair, are long and shaped more like an eel's tail than a typical house cat's".

These are friendly cats for now, and they let me take their tails while they pull me toward a cave. "With four paws per cat, the animals have the power of a small outboard motor".

CHOICE #2 is to climb a "rusty old ladder", or move into the cat cave. The fact that the metal ladder is "rusty" makes it sound like a trap.

An unnatural light comes from underwater, and the cave is implied to be at least partially artificial. A sign saying MOON POOL ENTRY is ahead. The cats drag me underwater toward a dome with so many LEDs that it resembles "the night sky". A door says AIRLOCK and an "ice chest" is close. I open the cooler and feed some fish to the cats as thanks for saving me. The room behind the airlock door has one wall that looks like it belongs in an aquarium, while another has "scientific equipment". The center of the room has a giant brown octopus in a tank. This prompts the first trademark Blair Polly "holy moly" from my character.

A tentacle looks like it's about to grab my head when a girl enters the room and shouts for "Oscar" to stay in his tank. Her parents starting caring for Oscar the octopus after they found him injured. It's likely that an orca attacked him. The girl's parents are biologists who take a particular interest in the swimming cats. She suggests that the cats "tricked" me to get food, but hey, they saved my character from being killed on CHOICE #1. Can't criticize them too much, right?

The girl introduces herself as Wanda, and she says her parents have left for 3 days to get supplies via floatplane. This laboratory was formerly a "secret army base". (Wouldn't it make more sense as a naval base?)

Wanda waves a bullroarer around until she summons the cats. Kong, their leader, is the size of a cheetah and licks my character so hard it "nearly takes off the top layer of skin". Wanda promises more fish if the cats rescue my crew.

CHOICE #3 is to wait with Wanda for the cats to find the Wanderlust's crew, or to search for them myself because "maybe Wanda's been the only kid on the island for too long and is living in a fantasy world". But my character is one to talk if they can't make a distress call without burning the boat! rolleye

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 11th, 2019, 19:28

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Part 3

As you may have guessed, I decided to make my incompetent character stay behind and make the cats do all the work. A passive strategy is successful. This ending is too long to quote in full, so I'll give the highlights and put the last part in bold.

Kong returns to the laboratory, and an elevator disappears under a capstone and another stone when Wanda brings some fish. When Kong "leans forward and stretches his front legs, his rump rising, tail flicking back and forth" and draws out his claws, our hero says "Crikey, Kong, give me a chance". I didn't expect the protagonist to be Australian. Kong mews, indicating that he wants to show us something. He rushes toward the estuary, where we have to be careful to avoid quicksand. (A potential Death in another timeline?)

The Wanderlust crew huddles together, frightened of the 50 mutant cats surrounding them. My character can't resist a pun and shouts "Hey, Skipper! Looks like you've had a cat-tastrophy!" Even the normally whimsical Wanda rolls her eyes, and the crew probably wishes they had sunk the boat while I was still unconscious.

Members of the crew explain that the swimming cats scratched them every time they tried to get water for an hour.

"Kong makes mewing sounds and the other cats follow him to a shady spot ten yards away. 'Who's your friend?' the skipper asks. 'Are these her cats?' 'This is Wanda. She and her parents live here.' The crew smile and say hi to Wanda.

Wanda looks over at the carpet of cats. 'I promised my friends fish if they found you. I'd better go and feed them, otherwise they'd never help me again.' The skipper half-closes one eye and peers at Wanda suspiciously. 'Help you. . .Right. . .Ummm, okay.' Wanda smiles. 'Would you like me to radio my parents and get them to send someone to pick you up?'

The skipper shakes his head. 'No need. We got through to an Australian naval vessel on our emergency radio. They've dispatched a helicopter that will home in on our EPIRB nearly an hour ago. Should be here any time.' Wanda nods and then turns to you. 'Well, it's been fun. Come again sometime. I'll show you around a bit more. 'Thanks', you reply. 'I might just do that.'

Wanda turns and heads back the way you came. Kong walks behind her, a string of cats in his wake. Just before she disappears behind the dune, she turns and waves goodbye one last time. 'Boy oh boy, them were some big ol' cats', the skipper says. As you're about to agree, you hear the whump, whump, whump of a helicopter in the distance.

The skipper points towards a black dot skimming low over the reef. 'Looks like our ride's arrived.' Pity it's come so soon. You would like to spend more time on the island. Get to know the cats, perhaps, or see what other surprises you might have found."

My character had very little to do with the CANONICAL ENDING. The emergency signal that mattered was sent by the crew, and Wanda and the cats confirmed their location. Still a Good Ending, if not an ULTIMATE ENDING by the standards of another CYOA series.

Results So Far

1 Good Endings

0 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

Herman Gigglethorpe

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Alternate Endings Part 1

Searching for the Wanderlust's crew by myself does not end with a Death as you might expect. Wanda's version of "Are you sure you want to do this?" is scowling and saying "Suit yourself. Just don't get lost. I've only got so much fish for bribes".

A jungle path ends at a beach of "golden sand" at high tide. Turning the corner reveals that the other side of the island is made of craggy rocks with "twisted" palm trees. What seems to be a military drone as large as a "small car" flies down and shoots a net at me. It flies me over the dome to an Australian naval vessel, where the crew is found.

"We thought we'd lost you', the yacht's skipper says, resting his hands on your shoulders. 'Didn't you hear me tell the crew to abandon ship?' 'I don't think so', you say, rubbing the lump on your head. 'I must have taken a knock'. As the vibrations beneath your feet increase, you feel the ship begin to get underway, its wake a foaming line of white, its bow lifting into the slight swell.

'We'd just launched the life raft when a huge wave snapped the safety line and swept us all into the water', says the skipper. 'The way the wind was blowing, we couldn't get back to the yacht to get you.' You feel relieved. 'So you didn't abandon me?' 'No! We were frantic, but there was nothing we could do. I'm so happy you're okay.'

'So how did you get here?' you ask. 'Thankfully, the navy was on an exercise in the area and picked up the signal from our EPIRB. We were only in the life raft for a couple of hours.' 'So you never made it to the island?' The skipper shakes his head. 'The navy tells me the island's deserted. We talked the captain into searching the island with their drone in case you'd made it ashore. What a stroke of luck they found you.'

'But what about Wanda and the cats?' you say. The skipper squints as he looks at you. 'Wanda? Cats? Are you okay?' You rub your head again. 'Yeah, I-I think so.' He turns to one of the navy guys. 'Hey! The kid's had a knock to the head and sounds a little delirious. We need to see the doctor.'

'Bu-but I'm not delirious. There was a girl who has a pet octopus, and there's a huge treehouse and chimpanzees and swimming cats!' You can tell by the look on the skipper's face he doesn't believe you. 'But I saw them!'

'Okay. Just take it easy', your skipper says as he leads you inside the ship. 'Let's get the doctor to give you a quick checkup. Once he's done that, you can tell me all about it.' But you can tell he's just spinning you a line. You're just a kid. Why would they believe you? Before stepping through the doorway, you turn to have one last look back at the island as it disappears over the horizon".

The epilogue text is hopeful, and suggests the crew might believe the hero's story once the checkup is finished. Overall, it's supposed to be a positive ending, so we can include it in the Good Ending column rather than contemplate the possibility of being thrown into a padded cell for life.

Both endings so far make me wonder if these are reality-altering CHOICEs rather than direct consequences of the player's actions. The crew never reached the island here, but did so in the CANONICAL ENDING where the cats found them.

Results So Far

2 Good Endings

0 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 11th, 2019, 20:16

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Alternate Endings Part 2

"The ladder is rusty, but it holds your weight, no problem."

No, the CHOICE #2 ladder itself is not a trap, but it removes me from the guaranteed Good Endings of CHOICE #3. Some seagulls are suspicious of me because they think I'm going to attack their nests. The seagulls swoop down on me, as if I were in an NES platformer instead of a CYOA.

An old woman with a "brown" face, "silver-grey hair", and sparkling eyes and teeth says "Dem birds is crazy". The cats serve her in this timeline, so I follow her across a ridge to a glade of palm trees and her shack. She has at least 20 of these cats. You didn't expect a book about mutant cats to not have a crazy cat lady, did you? She says "We ain't got no radio" when I ask about it, though there are 3 Wanderlust life preserves. She claims they washed up on the shore, but it's possible she's deceiving me judging by the narration.

CHOICE #4 is to jump over the cats to get away, or try to talk to the cat lady. The diplomatic solution is about as effective here as in an Ultimate Ending book.

"I need to look for my crew', you say, trying to reason with the woman. 'They could be injured and need my help.' The woman shakes her head. 'Nah, dey don't need no help, do dey, kitties?' 'What do you mean, they don't need help? Have you seen them?'

'Sure, I seen dem. Kitties hungry. Dey don't need no help.' The cats move closer. A few have their claws out, ready to attack. 'Babies, dey hungry.' When the cats pounce, you don't stand a chance".

Our first Death comes at the hands of a cat lady with a questionable accent, and it's suggested the crew is dead in this reality as well.

Results So Far

2 Good Endings

1 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 11th, 2019, 20:37

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Alternate Endings Part 3

The other CHOICE #4 ending hints that the crew is dead, at least at first. I see fresh bones near the EPIRB from the Wanderlust. I take this emergency signal device and run away from the cats down a slope. There's a moment of tension when I make it to the beach, with the possibility of the cats stalking me, but this ends soon when the life raft is seen in the jungle.

Our hero walks "parallel to the beach" until they hide under a fern. Cats are still visible on the beach shortly before the Australian naval helicopter comes to pick up the player character. When the pilot is told about the possibility of the cat lady killing the rest of the crew, he doesn't believe the protagonist.

A medical officer heals my "injured arm" and the mild head injury. A search party finds the crew alive, and I'm surprised to see them come out of the helicopter. They were going to return for me during the storm, but a wave struck and sent them all into the water.

"So you never saw a crazy cat lady?' The skipper scrunches his brow and shakes his head. 'No. . .I would have remembered that.' 'What about swimming cats? Did you see any of those?' 'No', says the skipper. 'Are you okay?'

'But your gear? If the island's deserted, who took your stuff?' 'Yeah, we figured someone on the island took our stuff, so we walked around the island to see if we could find them. We'd just arrived back at the lagoon when the chopper turned up.'

'So you didn't see anyone? No old lady, no cats, nothing?' The skipper shakes his head. 'According to the navy, this island is uninhabited.' 'But how can it be?' The skipper shrugs. 'The navy doesn't care. They've saved everyone off the Wanderlust, that's all that matters to them.'

'Hmmm. . .' you mumble. 'This is weird.' The skipper leans forward. 'The navy did find some chimpanzee bones on the island. Seems there was a colony abandoned there after World War Two ended. But they swear people haven't lived on the island since the 1970s.'

'But I saw-' 'Yeah, you told us. And because of the life jackets going missing, I tend to believe you. But what can I do about it? The navy has places to be, they can't spend time on wild cat chases.'

'But. . .' Then you realize that nobody cares. Why argue? You're just a kid with an unlikely story. The navy has more important things to worry about. It's at that moment you decide you're going to come back to the island one day. Come back and prove that there are swimming cats. Maybe the old woman will still be here too. But for now, all you want is something to eat and a nice long sleep".

Another ending where the protagonist escapes from the island, but this time the cats want to eat humans instead of fish. Are there two different sets of cats in this place, or is it just inconsistency among the branches? Find out in the next episodes of Alternate Endings! (But that will have to wait until tomorrow.)

Results So Far

3 Good Endings

1 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 12th, 2019, 15:23

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Alternate Endings Part 4

Like some other CYOAs, Isle of Swimming Cats divides into a "narrow branch" and a "wide branch" at the beginning. My CANONICAL ENDING turns out to be on the route with only 3 CHOICEs after the 1st. So most scenarios are based on pumping out bilges at the beginning.

Pumping water out of the Wanderlust is a lost cause, as more water is flooding into the boat. As the boat sinks, I turn on the diesel motor and try to go as far as I can, hoping to at least make it to the lagoon near the reef. Only when the engine stops do I bother to get a life jacket from below deck. The player character is as incompetent in this timeline as in the "make an emergency call" route.

A track is visible from the beach after "a hundred yards" of travel. Mynah birds and parrots live on this island, but a stone dome is more interesting. According to the narration, "the thing looks as ancient as the pyramids in Egypt". CHOICE #5 is whether to investigate the dome, or to return to the beach.

Sure enough, there's the concealed capstone elevator to Wanda's laboratory. It says AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. It wouldn't be a good CYOA without risk, so our hero pushes the button and descends rapidly before being able to jump off.

"Please depart the elevator', the voice says. 'What if I don't want to get off?' you ask, crossing your arms and staying where you are. Alarm bells ring. 'Depart elevator now', the robotic voice says, 'Depart elevator now!" I imagine this scene with the "Danger, Will Robinson!" voice.

CHOICE #6 is whether to enter the Aquarium or the Laboratory. To learn more about Wanda and the island, let's go with the first option.

"A red and white fish swims up to you and shakes its head as if telling you off. 'Seriously? I'm getting told not to tap on the glass by a fish?" Nobody takes our protagonist seriously in this book, but maybe it's because they realize they're living in a world called "Isle of Swimming Cats".

In this alternate universe, the lagoon aquarium was formerly an American nuclear missile silo, which was decommissioned 30 years before. Not the "secret army base" it was in the "follow the cats into the cave" storyline. We also learn that Wanda is 14. I thought she was younger than that. Wanda's parents flew the floatplane Gerty to Majuro in the Marshall Islands, but apparently they only make 2 trips a year.

To avoid assigning the player character a gender, they are introduced as the alias "Shrimp". You'd think they could have gone with a unisex name. Wanda asks if I like cats, so I follow her to the airlock after saying "Who doesn't like cats?" CHOICE #7 is whether to enter the airlock, or make an excuse not to go.

The airlock leads to the Moon Pool with the LED "starlight". When asked about why the cats have unusually large paws and long tails, she says "They evolved that way". This was because the American military left some cats behind when they abandoned the base, and radiation provided some favorable mutations for fishing. Those cats who survived the relative lack of food on land spread these traits throughout the population. It's compared to the "aquatic iguanas" from the Galápagos Islands in the book, but maybe the Italian wall lizards of Pod Kopiste and Pod Mrcaru are a better analogy.

CHOICE #8 is whether to accept Wanda's offer of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or not. The narration makes this decision sound ominous: "Do you trust food that is given to you by a stranger? After all, you don't know her very well. You could always make an excuse. Or do you trust her until you have a reason not to? Besides, if she is eating the food too. . ."

This clue doesn't take into account a more sadistic scenario: the player character is fatally allergic to peanuts without knowing it. RA Montgomery would try a stunt like that!

Accepting her offer means hearing 50 chimps hoot in the distance, and being taken to a treehouse "made of rough sawn planks, bamboo poles, and vines". It's between 2 trees and has "swing bridges and ramps". The "jelly" is papaya jam, not the kind you buy in a store. I "demolish" the sandwich when Blair Polly feels like using an atypical verb for eating.

Wanda's worried about "catnappers" when a boat with 1 mast appears in the lagoon. Because it wouldn't be a CYOA without poachers. My character makes a "cat out of the bag" pun, but Wanda doesn't dignify that with a comment. Wanda decides to send Oscar the octopus back to the ocean now that he's fully healed in case something bad happens to us. The poachers grab one swimming cat, and CHOICE #9 is whether to sneak onto the boat at night to save the animal, or march to the boat immediately and "demand the cat's release".

"That poor cat! You have to do something right now. 'I'm going to swim out to that yacht and demand they release it.' Wanda's eyes narrow. 'Is that smart? You don't know those men.' But you're not listening. You're on your way down the path towards the beach. When you get there, you take off your shoes and plunge into the lagoon.

Wanda reluctantly follows you to the beach, but doesn't enter the water. 'Be careful', she says as you swim towards the yacht. At the stern of the yacht, you climb up the boarding ladder. Two of the men are on the deck looking at the cat which they've locked into a cage on the deck.

'Hey, you! Give me my cat! I've alerted the authorities. Cats on this island are a protected species!' It's a weak bluff, but it's the only thing you can come up with at short notice. The men turn and look up at you. 'And who might you be?' 'Never mind who I am. Give me my cat!'

While you're arguing with the men on deck, the leader of the group storms up from below, grabs you by the collar, and throws you over the side. Your head hits the side of the boat and everything goes black. Glug, glug, glug".

One teenager who could plausibly be called "Shrimp" vs. multiple poachers is Yet Another Stupid Death in roguelike terms.

Results So Far

3 Good Endings

2 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

Herman Gigglethorpe · December 12th, 2019, 15:39

You Say Which Way: Isle of Swimming Cats Alternate Endings Part 5

Sneaking onto the poacher's yacht in CHOICE #9 is easier than it sounds after the criminals drink too much rum. My character finally has a decent idea for once, and points the yacht toward the lagoon's entrance before stealing the map and tossing the GPS overboard to prevent the poachers from returning easily. Oscar the octopus and Wanda free the cat from its cage. The cats swim in the lagoon at night to catch food.

"Later, Wanda leads you back to the tree house. 'It's time for me to radio my parents. I'll let them know you're here and that your crew is missing.' 'Right, my crew. With all the drama, I'd forgotten.' The radio is a big old thing with heaps of dials and a handset attached to it with a long black cord. It sits on a wooden desk in a room off the kitchen. Wanda sits down, flips a few switches, and turns various knobs. She picks up the handset and pushes a button on its side. 'Wanda to Gerty. Come in, Gerty.'

Static crackles as Wanda fiddles with the dials. She turns towards you and giggles. 'Why don't you go and make us some seagull sandwiches while I do this? Sometimes it takes a while to get through.' You're stomach's been rumbling for a while now, so she doesn't have to ask twice. By the time you've spread peanut butter and jam and eaten half of your sandwich, Wanda's joined you.

'You'll be pleased to know the crew of Wanderlust was picked up by a merchant ship early this morning about thirty miles north of the island. Everyone's safe.' 'That's a relief.' 'They also said they'll organize someone to come and pick you up as soon as possible.' 'Any idea how long that will be?'

'There's a naval exercise going on nearby so Dad reckons they'll divert one of their choppers in the morning. He's also going to get them to look for those poachers on the yacht. With our statements, they should be able to charge them and impound their boat.' You smile. 'So the cats will be safe?' She nods. 'Looks that way. For now, at least.' You take a bite of your sandwich. Wanda smiles. 'So how's that seagull tasting?"

The "seagull sandwich" lines are a reference to a bad joke from earlier in the book that I didn't quote. The epilogue text suggests I can use the map in the future to return to the swimming cat island once I get a boat. Who was the owner of the Wanderlust, anyway? The anonymous "skipper"?

Results So Far

4 Good Endings

2 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

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