Uncommonly Good: A Story of Elves

[Gaspar]

Thanks for the tips lads. I think I'll send basically that message to Nicolae. I'm off to work shortly, where I can neither post significantly nor play Civ, so I'll get to that, along with a Hippus message when I play the turn later tonight.

[Azoth]

Another dull turn. I'll spice it up at the end though. (Cue Azoth recoiling in horror at the thought of me deciding to attack the ruins with Hash Pipe's garrison. )

I think I know what my role on the High Council is. I'm the Treant.

Why do you younglings insist on exploring every lair you come across? Do not be hasty, that is my motto.
Now, tell me your story while I soak in the sunlight at this stream here...
What is that you say? I have been standing here for days with the kingdom in trouble?
Well, that happens sometimes: as the years pass, I grow more tree-ish than Ent-ish, if you catch my meaning...

Translation: I got very busy over the past couple of days; apparently I missed quite a bit.

What is going on with this burarum, this Ogre, and that young upstart Arbandi down at New York?
He is a dark Wizard who cares nothing for trees, and answers to a master from across the mountains, so I hear.
Soon, we must hold an Entmoot. And the last of our kind will march to war. But not too soon. We must not be hasty.

I don't have much more to say about the current situation. I'll just echo Mardoc, and add that we're probably the civ best suited to make a comeback after some bad luck in the early game.
At the very least, someone will have to deal with fifteen very angry Treants in the near future.

[Man Behind the Mask]

Why are there only save problems when we have units in immediate danger?

In the absence of anything better to talk about, you guys might not have picked up this nugget (PBEM3 – link not for Mardoc!).

Quick question, what was the effect of March of the Trees on your economy?

Can’t imagine the motivation behind that question

I had a look at the land area numbers today to investigate Gaspar’s thoughts on an OO strike on his arch nemesis. It’s pretty much impossible to glean anything from the demos because of the way second/third cities can overlap with previous culture. I can say that both of the new Balseraph cities added the full tiles in their first ring, so it doesn’t look like they are coastal – RG had sort of confirmed this by saying they settled up to him.

[Mardoc]

I had a look at the land area numbers today to investigate Gaspar’s thoughts on an OO strike on his arch nemesis. It’s pretty much impossible to glean anything from the demos because of the way second/third cities can overlap with previous culture. I can say that both of the new Balseraph cities added the full tiles in their first ring, so it doesn’t look like they are coastal – RG had sort of confirmed this by saying they settled up to him.

Yeah, but we'll likely want OO anyway at some point, Spiritual civs can afford to support multiple religions, and what's better than 75% damage cap, water walking priests, when you can also have something else for inland?

Edit: I hope Nyktorion told him something clever, like 'less than losing a city would have hurt', or 'it hurt Thoth more' .

[Gaspar]

Sent this message to Nicolae, working on something for RG now.

Hi Nicolae,

Thanks for responding so quickly this time. I know it’s tough when you’re in a few games at once.

We were pretty confident on the Balz army, but it’s been really difficult to find things to talk about so phrased it as a question. I think it’s telling that Kyan felt the need to “tie your hands”, especially right at the start of your relationship. But we all know who Kyan is. Little too competitive if you ask me, but you didn't.

On the C&D front, it looks like you recently got an Academy. Congratulations! We guessed it might be a sage from the dungeon or ruins near your territory.

The ogre looks like it’s made a direct beeline northwest from the Pyre, and I’m not aware of any other lairs directly in between our capitals. A few very unlucky rolls could cost us a lot, but hopefully we’re safe. It has a combat promotion, and we’ve seen no Clown units, so we can only assume that the Ogre took out whatever Kyan used to open the lair. As I said in my previous message, it’s a pretty low move by him that could easily have hit you rather than us, particularly since your "hands tied" comment seems to indicate you've signed a NAP.

We’re talking with the Hippus about their further scouting. We wouldn’t want you to miss out on RG’s fantastic roleplay diplo!

Regards,
Gaspar

[Gaspar]

OMG Its turn 50!!1111one

I suppose that means I should do a big update, but since I've detailed the thread pretty well AND we really haven't done much yet, I'm not sure how useful that actually will be. Nonetheless, in the spirit of trying to keep the most entertaining thread if not a successful game, I'll do a picture dump this turn.

No score increases for our rivals.

First things first, in the way that Barbarians do, Kont-Check is still just sitting in the same spot this turn as last. Almond Joy put another turn into the farm there, and sits in place. Barry makes it most of the way to the front, and Hash Pipe completes another warrior next turn. All in all, we should have 4 warriors to try and take the Ogre down. I'll continue to hope he takes the worker bait and then assaults the city. He could attack Barry in the forest this turn, which would throw off our plan and probably buy him another promotion, but I felt like we needed to take the risk and get him to the front ASAP. Hash Pipe will continue to spam warriors at size 1 until this situation is resolved. Here's the picture:



I decide to build another worker in The Chronic rather than building a warrior. By the time that warrior gets to the front this situation will be resolved one way or the other, and given we can get 1T warriors, the capital is pretty impervious to attack unless I'm really really stupid. If the Ogre starts heading that way, I'll do warriors all the time, I'd imagine I could get 5 in place before there was anything to worry about.

At the Capital, Cheetos was born this turn and helped Butterfinger complete our first cottage! T50. Nonethless, I start working it. Those two will dance around the forests building cottages for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately a Grassland Forest Cottage is essentially a Plains River Farm for its first 6T of existence, so it'll get more exciting later. Regardless, assuming that the Ogre issue never leaves the RoP area, the plan is two more workers, 2 warriors, Settler for the Capital. Probably a Hunting Lodge after that. Here's the view inside The Chronic:



You can see the sage is due in 2T. That should speed things up. Here's the inside of the ill-fated Hash Pipe.



More good news in the north, because what we really need to see right now is a Barbarian kill team:



I believe that the city is probably settled at Black Dot, but Black Circle is also a possibility. Neither fits in with the currently proposed Dot Map that 1. I haven't responded to because we've been preoccupied with the Ogre and 2. You guys shamelessly started without the appropriate episodic title header! Anyway, I've just resigned that our thread is going to be the example of all the things that can go wrong in FFH2, while Kyan's is the example of all the things that can go right. Unfortunately, as elves, I don't know if we necessarily subscribe to the "Losing is fun" philosophy, but as long as we keep things entertaining, I'm ok.

GNP. We started out competitively, but the lack of a commerce resource and the slow ramping of our economy with expensive techs shows we've fallen well behind both neighbors. Nicolae's Academy and RG with Financial. Not much else to say.



MFG. Production is quite volatile in the early game, and you can see us spiking banging out the Elder Council, cratering as we build a settler mostly from food, and spiking again as we work the Remnants to churn out a warrior. Bottom line, this doesn't mean a whole lot right now.



CY. Food is basically the inverse of the MFG graph, but the wet corn has kept us competitive here. Unfortunately, CY isn't nearly the indicator here it is in BTS, since it can't be converted to production until much later in the game:



Power. Rawkking's built himself a bit more an army, as would have I if Kyan was a neighbor.



Here's overall demos:



I don't think F1, F5 or F6 shows anything everyone doesn't already know, so I'll just throw our tech path down here for anyone late to the party. (by the way, if you're late to the party, here have a cheeto and a )

(Exploration) -> Agriculture -> Ancient Chants -> Mysticism -> Education -> (Hunting, due in 12 atm)

Nothing too ground breaking here. In a vaccuum, we're not doing too bad. With Kyan getting fat off flood plains and getting an army for free, while we have an Ogre bearing down, I honestly believe we already can't win. Kyan is an excellent player to give those advantages to, and he's already bullied his two neighbors to some extent, probably even more than we realize. But regardless, let's just stop worrying about the stupid clowns. You never know anyway, Krill's over there, he might want to build Cristo Redentor before he attacks, and in FFH, there's really no such thing as unstoppable force. If you get enough collateral, you can beat anything. Anyway, other than diplo with other teams, I declare this thread a douchebag free zone from here on out, so no mention of the Balseraphs. We were having a lot of fun for 40 or so turns and I let my paranoia and some old grudges get in the way of it. Let's get back to that, its extremely unlikely this Ogre will end our game, so let's make the most of it.

Go team!

[Gaspar]

Was this update that depressing?

Anyway, how about another RP interlude with the Horsepeoples:

Back in the Ljosalfar palace in The Chronic, Gaspar and the High Council await reports from his diplomats regarding the Hippus communication. Palace is a bit of an overstatement, Dorm Room might be a bit more accurate, but is where the ruling elves make decisions for the rest of the Civilization.

Gaspar the Angry paces around his reclining throne and says, "Man, its been 2 days now, why haven't we heard from the horsepeople."

Mardoc the Conservative, eldest of the High Council leans against a wall, distracted by 7 or 8 other things, muttering occassionally about blighted lands and powerful desert peoples, complete unawares of Gaspar's concern.

Azoth, the council's token Ent, hasn't been seen for days, having [strike]stormed[/strike] ambled slowly off in a huff after the last report of an adventurous elf wandering into a local dungeon.

NobleHelium the LurkMaster hasn't been seen in a while either, as the fastest of the High Council, he blurs through the palace off to parts unknown just long enough to shout advice before blurring off again.

Man Behind the Mask, the C&Dfather, sits on the floor, shuffling through crude spreadsheets and marking maps furiously. Curiously, all the rival units seem to be represented by Cheetos. Nonetheless, he says, helpfully, "Gaspar, you know better than to send them off with, ahem, supplies. They're probably off in the forests talking about the mythical Fryloc again. We might not see them for weeks."

Gaspar sighs. "Its so hard to find good help these days."

Just then, three elves stumble into the palace giggling suspiciously. The first elf, looks at the leaders, turns to his compatriots and falls over laughing hysterically. The second of the elves looks at him and, stifling a laugh says "Duuuuude, its the boss, chill out, hahaha." The third elf looks at the first elf and joins him in laughter.

Gaspar, having seen this particular scene too many times before waits a few moments before addressing his diplomatic team. "Gentlemen, have you return with news from the Horseless Horsepeople or are you simply here to try my patience?"

The second elf looks up, laughs, and pulls a parchment from the first elfs pocket, who objects and trips the second elf, resulting in all three rolling around on the floor laughing. Gaspar walks over snatches the parchment from the team and strides out into the courtyard to get some peace. He reads the letter, nodding several times, and after conferring with the rest of the Council, composes the following response:

"Dearest Horseless Horsepeoples,

First, allow me to greatly appreciate your candor in sharing your knowledge of the world with us. Our exploration has been quite limited due to some of the same issues you seem to have encountered. The north coast above the mountain ridge your scouts came in on is particularly fraught with uncooperative fauna, and that, along with military needs at home have restricted our exploration in your direction. In particular, there is an evil spider our people have dubbed "Hahaahahhaha, the huge freakin spider dude" who claimed the life of one of our earliest explorers just a touch northeast of what I believe to be your home position.

A future promise of trade between our two empires sounds quite delicious indeed. I believe you have had the opportunity to sample some of our finest export, but I do believe there are other advantageous trades we can make in the future. I'm not entirely sure when our sages will master the secrets of Cartography and/or "Boats" but the promise of fair trade with the people of Camelot certainly is an inspriration to prioritize it more highly.

We appreciate your confirmation of our suspicions regarding these Balseraphs. Certainly, they seem to have gotten quite lucky in the early years, and have done a nice job of leveraging that support into a commanding position that "the C&Dfather" assures me is the strongest on Erebus. I've heard rumors about their leader, and hear he's a real menace, with no regard for treaties, so I can't say I'm surprised at this behavior. My southern neighbor has been less forthcoming about his treaties with these clowns, but reading between the lines I suspect he has been bullied by them to some degree. Certainly a situation that bears monitoring.

As far as a more detailed description of our lands, the mountain range you see to the north extends pretty much all the way to the east coast of the continent. There is a passable valley in it, but the entrance currently lies in our cultural borders. You would need to loop around north and then head west for many years before reaching a break which your squires could pass. It may just be easier to wait until Cartography for Open Borders, or indeed trade maps. Should you get a vessel capable of traversing the waters west of Hash Pipe, Nicolae's capital is only just a little bit inland from the coast of that water, he may well have a city on that shore by the time you reach there. I suspect the nature of the geography is such that without a Griffon or similar tamed animal, it will be very difficult for anyone other than us to contact him. If you would like us to pass a message along to him, we would certainly be willing to do so. As we said, our relations have been friendly, if less than productive. I think right now he's mostly working on deciding which of his neighbors he dislikes more, us or the Clowns. I'd suspect that any logical observer would prefer our exports to theirs, but I am a bit biased.

Is there any other information about the world you can pass along? In our relatively isolated position we are quite hungry for any tales of the rest of Erebus, and certainly, if there is anything you'd like from us, don't hesitate to ask. Just don't expect a prompt reply, I think you've already seen what passes for diplomats around these parts. Keeping an empire happy sometimes has a high price.

Yours,
Gaspar of the Ljosalfar High Council"

Thoughts?

[Mardoc]

First things first, in the way that Barbarians do, Kont-Check is still just sitting in the same spot this turn as last. Almond Joy put another turn into the farm there, and sits in place. Barry makes it most of the way to the front, and Hash Pipe completes another warrior next turn. All in all, we should have 4 warriors to try and take the Ogre down. I'll continue to hope he takes the worker bait and then assaults the city.

That was certainly unexpected. But 4 warriors ought to do the trick. Fingers crossed!

At the Capital, Cheetos was born this turn and helped Butterfinger complete our first cottage! T50. Nonethless, I start working it. Those two will dance around the forests building cottages for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately a Grassland Forest Cottage is essentially a Plains River Farm for its first 6T of existence, so it'll get more exciting later.

Very good. And if the game is over in 6T, then it doesn't matter what we built anyway .

Regardless, assuming that the Ogre issue never leaves the RoP area, the plan is two more workers, 2 warriors, Settler for the Capital. Probably a Hunting Lodge after that. Here's the view inside The Chronic:

Sounds reasonable. That would put us at 2 workers/city, a little low, but probably good enough given that Chronic has all the farms it'll ever need.

More good news in the north, because what we really need to see right now is a Barbarian kill team

You know, after the Mistform scare and the Ogre - I just can't get worked up over a few warriors. XP!

I believe that the city is probably settled at Black Dot, but Black Circle is also a possibility. Neither fits in with the currently proposed Dot Map that 1. I haven't responded to because we've been preoccupied with the Ogre and 2. You guys shamelessly started without the appropriate episodic title header!

It's been so long, I don't remember what our dotmapping header is. Maybe it's time for a new one, anyway.

Was this update that depressing?

You know, sometimes I have other stuff to do rather than constantly refresh . On that note - I start working again on Tuesday, so you can expect my contribution to decline somewhat as I spend my time on piping and instrumentation diagrams rather than worldbuilder sims. Although...depending on how busy they keep me, perhaps having RB but no civ would make me contribute more?

Anyway, how about another RP interlude with the Horsepeoples:

Thoughts?

Bah, kids these days...no respect! No respect! Why, in my day....

All in all, I like it. In particular, I like the friendly gestures like informing him about the spider and volunteering to pass on info. Enough to make me start to wonder what else we can do to cement our friendship. Maybe...well, it sounds like his fear of Kyan is animal-based. We'll have hunters in 20ish turns. Maybe we can work something out where we kill lions and tigers and bears, and he warcries and kills the rest of Kyan.

[Ravus Sol]

Weren't you planning on saying he could wait around for a few turns THEN you go let him fake declare war so that he can pass through the borders? Did you change your mind?

[Gaspar]

I don't expect you to constantly refresh, Mardoc. I expect everyone in the RB world to stop what they're doing and read my thread when there's an update!

And yeah, Ravus, I just forgot about that. I'll throw that into the message. I don't suspect the horsies are planning on attacking me now. Might change later, but I think I'm safe for now, so might as well continue positive relations, and we might want the favor returned once we have hunters in play.