Imperium 12: RefSteel's Improbable Oligarchy

[RefSteel]

EDIT: Imageshack has been thoroughly worthless for me lately, so I'll try and figure out the image hosting provided on these forums, but in the meantime, I've put an outside website together and posted this report there instead. The pictures are a bit smaller there, but you can click for a full-sized version. Thus: http://meklongambit.blogspot.com/2008/09...ction.html I hope this works better, and I hope you enjoy the report!



And now for something completely different: An Imperium played as a succession game! Here's my starting roster:
RefSteel: UP for 20 turns
RefSteel: ON DECK for 15
RefSteel: will play 15 more, with 10 turns per set thereafter.
(There are 9 more guys on the roster, but I didn't bother listing them since they all have the same name.)

What am I even talking about? Heh. Well, for our first Extreme Imperium, I thought I'd play a little differently than usual: I'd divide the game up into standard OSG-style turn sets, and take a break (sometimes just for a walk or something, sometimes overnight and through the next day at work or longer) and come back for a fresh look at the game with the start of each set. I figured this would elevate my game a bit, and give me an opportunity to write my report as I went along instead of keeping an endlessly detailed real-time turnlog to be later broken down into a readable report. You'll have to see and/or decide for yourself how it worked out!

[RefSteel]

2300: Enough is enough! Years of bickering and squabbling have produced only a single colony ship and a pair of miserable scouts, all of them expensive and unarmed, and a bunch of worthless and expensive combat blueprints for ships that we'd be unspeakable fools to ever build! Unemployment is at almost 80% and will get worse before it gets better, and we know almost nothing about the galaxy into which we're sending our ships. Finally, finally, the rest of the oligarchy has agreed to do this right! We need a single emperor to run things efficiently, even if the oligarchy itself remains the official ruling body. I'm not talking about a coup; I'm talking about taking turns, learning to share instead of everyone screaming "Mine!" like little children and insisting on taking part in every decision, big or small. I don't know how we managed to agree on this, but we did it somehow, and I'm going to get us started here, finally! As the acting head of the Ruling Bionic Oligarchy of 12, I, the great Refrything SmorgasBorg, plan to do my people proud - and try not to make the other eleven members of the RBO-12 cabinet too furious with me! Get ready, galaxy! Here come the Meklar people! (Sounds of cheering, recorded in advance and piped in via amplifiers in SmorgasBorg's torso.) Yeah, baby!

Okay, so here's the deal: After tossing our worthless plans for platinum-plated military ships in the nearrest incinerator, I have a look at the galaxy as we (barely) know it. Not looking pretty. There's a lot of stars out there, and we've only got three ships to cover them.



Our colony ship's heading for the nearest star to get its maintenance costs off the books, and the Scouts head way off to the west to see if they can interdict alien fleets, which might be coming from the yellow star at which I'm pointing. Our minister of intelligence, Refcon AIssance says we need more ships yesterday, so I design a Newscout and order a pair. Science Minister Refrens eBook boggles his photoreceptors and says we can't neglect research, while the Minister of the Interior, Refrofit Infra, can't believe we won't have any new factories finished next year - he's not reassured when I tell him 0.6 is better than 0.0 - but I can't accomodate everybody, and at least I'm doing something! Refrens and Refrofit argue for the remainder of the year while I ignore them.

I spent a good long time considering an unusual gambit here that I first introduced late last year when I first joined this forum. The initial star layout looked almost ideal for it, as it didn't look like our first colony would extend our scouting range much if at all, but I ultimately decided against it because it's a very risk move, and I didn't have the stomach for the risk in what was already likely to be a very challenging game.

2301: More of the same. I like to call this "sticking to plan." Refrofit calls it "suicide," but I can't stick to plan without continuing to ignore him! The new Newscouts are sent south to interdict possible ships from another yellow star.

2302: I love it when a plan comes together. (Refrens of course is scoffing, "You love it when you get lucky, you mean!")



The only little problem with our new Paranar colony is that it allows us to scout exactly zero new planets. Refcon sneers, "That's okay, we don't have enough ships for the ones we can scout anyway!" which is rather rude of him, considering how I've accomodated him so far in my reign. I intend to stop building Newscouts to spite him, but Refrofit actually attacks me in the corridor with a drafting compass, so it's more necessary to spite him. I start a slow trickle of transports out to Paranar, trying not to let them slow down any of Meklon's actual work, and keep up the shipbuilding.

2303: Refrofit enters my office with half his LEDs burned out, carrying a sheaf of papers and no sharp objects. Apologizing miserably, he pleads, "I wasn't myself! I had just gotten the latest figures! Unemployment is over 83% across the empire, and we're losing four billion credits a year to ship maintenance!" This can't be right; all my reports indicate our ships cost only a billion credits to maintain. "If only!" he sobs. "It's costing us a billion for the ships ... and three billion for the associated bureaucracy - including the labor of every living Meklar at our new colony!" Horrified, I resolve to fire somebody, and cease shipbuilding altogether. (Don't tell Refrofit this, but I have no more need for scouts right now anyway!)

2304: Someone has stolen my favorite desk blotter! I spend the entire year in a desperate search.

2305: Victory! It was hidden under the couch! Only slightly torn by my mecha-poodle! I ... (Red alert sirens sound throughout the Capital Building) Wha...? What's going on?



By Wintermute! It's a Klackon Scout! That means Kholdan's got to be where I'm pointing - I sure hope I guessed correctly that it's at least 5 parsecs from this tiny little desert world of Berel ... because if it's not, the Klacks have a scouting report of the place, and I'm going to look like an idiot! But wait: Good news! It turns out that no one will ever know! I don't suppose anyone knows why the Scout is running away? Is it afraid of our Newscout? I was scrambling under the couch when the battle took place, so I missed it.

2306: Great news! There's no need to worry that an enemy fleet beat us to the green star in the west!



And we have one less Scout to maintain in our fleet! Better still, the blue and white stars right near it are totally uninhabitable! Granted, the Darrian inferno is a miner's dream, and the dead world of Stalaz is of semi-decent size, and some idiot species that's actually willing to find ways to live on hostile worlds (eeeeeeeeew!) might use them to stepping-stone their way right up to us if we're not careful, as Admiral Refpect ForceTran keeps insisting, but I don't care! This is the perfect opportunity to scrap the last of our old pre-succession designs, including the Scout over Stalaz! I do so, and have a Lander designed to replace the old, wasteful colony ship. The old Scout's spare parts are shipped to Meklon, towed by the pilot's escape pod. This provides a whopping two billion BC! And ship maintenance is now free! Yippeeeeeeeeeee!

2307: What's this? Now my favorite letter opener has gone missing! There's a conspiracy!

2308: Ha, ha! It was cybernetically attached to my third forearm the entire time! Who'd have... (Red Alert sirens sound throughout the capital building.) Yeeeek! WhatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisitHELP!

(Silence)

Is it over? Can I come out from under my desk now? Oh, good. Now, what happened? Ah! it seems that one of our Newscouts retreated from a Fighter at the Not-Kholdan yellow star in the south. Why, what cowardly behavior! I order it back to investigate immediately! Also, Zhardan is a big, beautiful jungle in the north, easily in colony range. I suppose that's exciting. Now I just have to fiddle around with our Newscout locations, and ... what? Yes, Refrens, come in. You say we've done no research throughout my entire reign? Yes, yes, I know that. I ... wait, you say we're probably only ever going to have five stars that don't stink to high cyberheaven - and one that does, if we're lucky - unless we get researching right away? I don't know if I ... wait, what? Colonial Minister Refspand oMatic? You're here too? And you agree? Well, then! I'll order Paranar to get started on construction and propulsion techs right away!

2309: Well, Refrens? What are my choices in these tech fields?



I see. Improved Industrial Tech 9 and Hydrogen Fuel Cells. There wouldn't be a chance that you've selected these in advance from three or four possible projects just to take the choice out of my hands, would there be?

...

Fortunately for you, these are the ones I would have wanted anyway. Now go away while I find out what happened to that Klackon Fighter.

Hmmm. Apparently, it left, most likely because the planet it was orbiting is a blazing inferno called Zoctan. This makes it virtually certain that - in addition to the ones we expected to get already - we'll nab the world of Berel that stinks like rotten cheese! Yay! To celebrate, I start this great new Sudoku puzzle that Entertainment Minister Refiraxis GameBot gave me! I'm sure to have it solved in no time!

2313: (Red Alert sirens recur) Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! Will you CUT that OUT?! What now?



Wait, you interrupted my Sudoku puzzle for this?! Yeah, yeah, that other yellow star that I thought could be a homeworld has got to be Ursa, and it's got a scout returning to it, which probably scouted Stalaz while the planet was left unguarded. Give me a break. We have way more important things to do, like figuring out which of these spaces should have a one, and which should have a three.

2316: This puzzle is impossible! I hate it! I'm going back to empire building! How soon can I build a Lander? Six years? That won't even be done during my reign! No fair! Stupid puzzle. All right, well, I'm starting the Lander anyway, and ordering it to proceed directly to Paranar and (this is important) to not pass Go! Whoever rules next had better not change anything, that's all I have to say.

Wait, what if I put a six in the lower left-hand corner?

[RefSteel]

2320: I was afraid of this. It's supposed to be time to hand over the reins of power, but Chairman Refrything hasn't shown up to the cabinet meeting! He's gotten the taste of power, and now he won't let go! Or ... something. Actually, he's been locked in his room for years, continuously muttering "don't interrupt me; I've almost got it," into the intercom. Whatever. This is ridiculous. I'm taking over. All in favor?

...

Oh, come on - we agreed to this already!

...

Pleeeeeeeeease?

(Several reluctant votes in favor - measure passes, barely.)

Thank Multivac for the magic word! Ahem. Thank you! I, Colonial Minister Refspand oMatic, am the new acting head of RBO-12! Now, what's going on here? Why are we building a Lander with only 114 factories on Meklon? Is Refrything insane? I'm all in favor of rapid expansion, and I'm not going to waste our investment in the thing - two wrongs and all that - but we'd better at least build some factories!

2322: Right! Now that our Lander's on the way to Paranar, I can build it a Newscout escort at its destination and ... work on another one at home! After all, Meklon now has a whopping one hundred and sixteen factories!

2323: Our ships leave Paranar for Zhardan! I'm going to have more colonies to manage! Who says you can't rule the empire and still bnefit your place in the oligarchy?

2326: Go ahead: Try and tell me this isn't the most beautiful sight you've ever seen:



Lovely Zhardan is mine, mine, mine!!! Errrr ... ours! Its Newscout escort refuels and heads out to explore the blue star in the north! Maybe someday I'll be able to make it into a colony! There's no such thing as getting too greedy!

2330: Uh ... I guess I'm not going to colonize that blue star after all. It's Phyco, another of those stupid hostile rich worlds that make our defense minister stand up on the table and shout about mobile defense fleets. Look, Refpect ForceTran, the place is radiated! Even Psilons won't be able to do anything with it for decades! Now will you please calm down a little bit? I'm building a blockading fleet already ... sort of. Newscouts count, right?

...

I can't please anybody around here, can I?

2331: Refpect's getting all over my nerves now. That's it! No more building blockade ships for the rest of my reign! How do you like them cybernetically-enhanced apples? Refrofit comes by to make a joke about Refpect's intermittantly flashing diode bank, so I start building a few more factories at Meklon again. What a great way to make policy! I just hope it's not a mistake building those factories.

2332: Guess who has a new colony!



I think Jinga's my new favorite planet in the galaxy.

2333: Hey! What do you know! I finally got my new fuel cells! Refrens says we could research either Nuclear Engines or Inertial Stabilizer. I'm not sure which to pick, but he laughs and rolls his eyes when he says stabilizer, so I go with the speed.

2334: Uh-oh. Big problem! My next Lander won't be finished during my reign! I knew I shouldn't have built those extra factories!

2335: I am the best! Refrens is gonna love this! We've finally got some new construction tech! Both research projects are finished in my reign! This is great ... except ... Improved Industrial Tech 8 is up next ... which means no Duralloy Armor. I really, really wanted Duralloy Armor: It might help me get more colonies!!! Oh, well, could be worse. Probably none of the next acting heads would use it properly anyway. Stupid succession. Can't I be the emperor a little longer? Please? Pleeeease? Just one ... more ... year?

(Reins of power are forcefully torn from Refspand's cybernetic manipulator digits)

So much for the magic word.

[RefSteel]

I see my predecessor has decided I'd like a challenge when running my empire. I'll have to send a thank-you note to the hospital bed where he's recovering from Acute Power Deprivation Syndrome. What he thinks he was doing at Paranar and Zhardan, I'll never know - at least, not until he stops frothing at the mouth, and starts talking in coherent sentences other than "one more year" and "one more colony!" I also notice we're building Landers at top speed here at Meklon in spite of still having less than 120 factories! No wonder Refrofit has been throwing things around in the lobby!

2336: The new Lander is now bound for Berel - I wasn't going to waste our existing "investment" in the thing, but that's the last one we're building for a while. I do notice it has "Kakata Ship!" embossed on all the parts that were made before my reign. Don't you love emperors who choose colonies for their appearance instead of their strategic location? I know I love them ... when they're safely tucked away in a recovery room at the Meklon Medical Center! Yes, we're going to colonize Kakata, but it's going to have to wait for more important things - like extending our scouting range by grabbing Berel, and the factories for which Refrofit has been screaming.

2339: The blue star in the south, Xengarra, is yet another hostile rich star, this one toxic and tiny. We could have had this information last year if my predecessor had been paying any attention.

2340: Colonizing Berel has brought us close enough to Kholdan for holocommunication with the Chief Bug, Ixitixlixtilixltixtlixixixtixilix! (Something like that anyway.)



This would be lovely except for the fact that she's a complete loon with only two stars to her name. I sign her up for a small trade agreement anyway, but war could break out at any moment for no reason, which would be a tragedy - the need for defenses and war fleets might curtail some of our intelligence-gathering activities! Worse yet, the main reason I colonized Berel was in hopes of learning about the blue and green stars near my cursor, and it turns out they're both still out of range. I therefore send Newscouts to the Klackon colonies instead, to see what they look like as well as we can. Since Ixwhatever could declare war on me at any time just for mispronouncing her name (luckily, that will never happen with a name like hers, right?) I don't really care if my ships' arrival makes her mad, and it's definitely worth it for the unofficial reports we'll receive. Better still, since we have contact at this range, I already know she has at least Deuterium Fuel Cell technology, and I'm going to start spying on her to find out still more, while I ask Refrens to suggest a project for computer research.

2341: Refrens has lots of ideas, and I choose Deep Space Scanner rather than ECM or a new computer. I'm surprised he even bothered to mention those two; has he been paying any attention to my policies at all?

2343: First unofficial scouting report received, and it looks like Kholdan's infrastructure is complete. Considering its fleet, I decide to ask Refrens if there's any way to improve our shield technology. Meanwhile, with Meklon now at 217 factories, I finally start a colony ship for Kakata.

2344: Looks like Class II Deflector Shields are our best hope for Berel's security. Research begins on them at once.

2345: Our Newscout arrives at Klackon Incedius, and ... uh...



That's a pretty big fleet they've got there, and the planet looks like its infrastructure's finished too. We can't get close enough for a decent scan, but its bright white color suggests it might be uninhabitable without vile planetology technologies too. So, yeah, we retreat. Meanwhile, our economy is starting to seriously feel the strain of our countless priorities. Uh ... hang in there, economy! You can do it! (Is there a better way to do this? Gotta be....)

2346: I declare a national holiday to commemorate the hard wok and sacrifice of our brave intelligence agents. We now know that Ixsomethingsomething has (Hydrogen and) Iridium fuel cells and ECM 1, but our valient spies were lost in the process of getting this critical information to our people. No planetology technology means that Incedius is habitable in spite of its appearance, so this is vital information to say the least! Espionage funding is kept low for now, since we'll need better technology to actually steal much of anything (actually, I should have realized this before I started spying. I ... uh ... blame my predecessor!)

2348: Dr. Refrens eBook, our Science Minister, works a miracle with our research teams, and we develop Nuclear Engines in record time! Next up is Dotomite Crystals, the only project he can think of to work on in the field, but also exactly what I wanted - to increase our scouting range more than ever! And at the same moment (bad timing - one year more and it could have had the engine upgrade ... I just wasn't expecting the tech to come in so soon!) my Lander is finished, and heads down to Kakata. More importantly, I'm assembling ships of a new design at Meklon: Scout 2.0s, to bring in new intelligence reports twice as quickly!

2350: My reign comes to an end, as quietly as it began. All is well in the empire - or as well as can be expected, given what I had to work with! No doubt my successor will take issue with what I've done. Yeah. No doubt he'd like to take over an empire in the state it was left for me, and see how he likes digging out of the same hole. Feel free.

[RefSteel]

(Gack - choke - splutter) Is this what you call a handover? In 2350 no less?! Un-be-lievable!!! Unemployment at 75%, including almost 50% on Meklon? Still just five worlds to our name? (Okay, I admit there's a colony ship en route.) Weapons research not even started? We even have a Scout 2.0 going to the wrong star! What on Meklon?! This isn't an empire! This is a mess! Looks like there's just one cyborg who's bionically-enhanced fuzzball enough to clean it up: Me! Refrofit Infra, Minister of the Interior, and acting head of RBO-12! I've been helplessly complaining about the state of our empire for fifty years, and now it's time to put my credits where my combination nutrient intake port and speaker-amplifier array is! Let's do this!

First things first: Meklon needs more factories up, and Construction isn't getting enough emphasis. I want the 11% boost to factory construction while I'm still in power to do something with it! Our economy is in such a shambles, weapons tech will have to wait! Quiet, Refpect ForceTran; you'll get your turn later!

2353: I've been getting everything lined up for this next step throughout my entire reign so far; Kakata is in the Klackons' attack range, and we're going to stand it up so fast, your head will spin! Our preparations are ready, and we're starting the job as of ... now!



Suddenly things aren't looking so bad! We're the first to six systems, and have a real 'borg at the helm for a change! No time to rest on our laurels though; we've got an empire that needs building! Among other things, I finally put Refrens to work on Weapons technology! Seriously, guys, is this really that hard? Could none of my predecessors get a grip on reality and do this right? Unemployment at Meklon is down below 15% already. What's that? Cherry-picking stats, am I? Still over 70% unemployment emperor-wide with tens of millions in transports, including many coming from Meklon itself, you say? Oh, yeah? Well, you just watch!

2354: We've now got a deep space scanner; stand by for more intel while I mock our new ECM and Battle Computer options and choose Improved Robotic Controls III! The only weapons Refrens can think of to design are Hyper-V Rockets, but that's just what I was hoping for anyway! When things are going my way, they go my way! Next up, we get a census report from GNN annnnnd ... We're Number One! We're Number One! We're Number One! You BET! That's with dozens of transports in space! And our stunted Klackon neighbors come in second, ahead of the Psilons, Humans, Bears, and Birds! All of a sudden, I'm feeling optimistic about this galaxy! No time to celebrate though. Our last old warp 1 designs hit the scrap heap, with the pieces all bound for Kakata - where we'll reassemble them into factories!

2355: Factory tech improves again, and we're off to the races! Auto-Repair is a sweet looking option, but there's something even sweeter: Reduced Industrial Waste 60%!!! Thank the Great Thinking Machine in the Sky that I worked to get the new factory designs in during my reign! Can you imagine if the choice had been up to Admiral Refpect?

2359: Want to hear something funny? Ix has gone relaxed on us! This is lunacy maybe - she's crazy enough to declare on us anyway with no warning - but I'm going to try a really risky gambit here and sign her up for a Non-Aggression Pact. It'll be a long time before she can make a play for Zoctan anyway, and this'll give us a little warning at least before she goes all cold-war on Berel or Kakata. I'm thinking even longer-term than that though - which is crazy, I know, believe me, since she could declare hot war as easily as cold, at any minute, but I figured I had to try something to get us out of the hole - and the corner - we're in! No way I'm increasing our trade agreement though; strategic risks are one thing, but monetary risks mean cash down the drain!

2360: There you have it! Here's what happens when someone competent is running the Meklar for a change!



We lead our nearest neighbor in every category but Fleet Strength and Total Power - both of which are illusions created by her insubstantial clouds of laser fighters - and at last report (7 years ago) she was the population leader, non-cyborg category! Meklon unemployment is below 11%! Empire-wide unemployment is under 65% - still horrifying, but far better than it's been in history up to this point! Kakata, our best world within the Klackons' combat range, is now our second most productive colony, though it wasn't even founded when I took over! (Berel, also in Klackon threat range, is our least productive, but there's not much you can do for that pitiful little joke of a world). Two key techs have come in, with more on the way, and a great security tech is on the verge of completion. So what do you say? Want me to lead us for a few more years, maybe?

...

(sigh) No, I had a feeling you wouldn't. I guess I'll go spend 110 years trying to find someone who appreciates me.

Looking good, eh? Looks like the AIs are all stunted and we've invoked the Sullla Tautology, right? Lead the AI in tech and production on the harder difficulties and you're not going to give up that lead! ... Right? ... Um, no. In a normal game, yes, but this variant is crazy! With my current lead, I could easily run down the planetology tree, grab all those yummy hostiles, pump up our worlds with terraforming until even Berel is a dream ... except that I'm not allowed to build, beg, borrow, or steal a single tech in planetology! What this means is, I have to get moving fast, or the other races will outstrip me - because it's not going to be easy getting out of this corner, and even if I can build a fleet to (temporarily) defend the sweet hostiles within reach, there's nothing I can do right now to prevent someone like the Psilons from gobbling up all the planets, hostile or otherwise, in the remaining ~75% of the galaxy! And if they do, believe you me, I'm not going to be able to maintain my lead ... in any category!

[RefSteel]

This should be fun: I get to come out of the research lab and run the whole empire for a change! I wonder if I'll be any good at it. Let's see. Everything looks okay, except for one huge problem: We're not doing enough research! I fix this immediately. Oh, and we apparently formed a Non-Aggression Pact with the erratic Klackons at some point. I'm not sure Ixitixl is actually any crazier than we are! Oh, well. I'll try and make the most of it anyway.

2361: We finally have spies in Klackon space again. The bugs now have Controlled Barren Environment - the clock is ticking - and Inertial Stabilizer. I'm sure Refcon will find this very enlightening. For my part, I ... well, I guess our spies can maybe advance the cause of science ... a little ... maybe.

2362: Hey, look at that! I guess they really can!



Our choice in effect is between ECM Jammer Mark I and Why Would Anyone Want to Live on a Hostile Planet technology, since the collection of zanies who ruled our empire before me didn't bother picking up any technology as advanced as the Klackons' Irridium cells. Obviously, I go for the computers; this should help future spying efforts a bit at least. Oh, and you can see here that Meklon is about to finally complete its infrastructure. I don't think we'll be lacking research anymore for a little while.

2365: Shield research finally comes through; that means a single missile base should obviate an infinite number of Klackon fighters as long as it can fend off whatever larger support they bring. The best I can do from here is to try and miniaturize it into a Personal Deflector Shield, which is of no real use except to open the way toward new ideas. I'll invest in it v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y; there are just too many other projects that are more important, and (apart from Hyper-V rockets) they're all going to take a long time. ... A very long time. I kind of miss being back in the lab, actually doing things.

2366: I wonder what they're doing with the advanced linear accelerator now. I bet they're advancing the state of the art and everything. I wonder if they could put a mock-up of me in the throne room so I could go down there and join them. I wonder ... mumhmmm ... not so much to do as emperor, is there, really? Still, it's ... an ... um ... honorrr ... ummum ... zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Hey there! Travel Minister Refcreactional Turing here! Bored reading some stupid scientist's report that's hit a slow bit? Looking for something interesting to see? Why not tour the Meklar Empire? Here's an exerpt from one of our amazing package tours!



And on the tour itself, you'll actually get to visit those worlds! Imagine relaxing for your health in a restorative mud bath on Jinga, or filling your pockets with Berel "fools' sapphires" - trick your friends and family! - and then kicking back for the trip through space in our luxury liners in between worlds! All for just a few BC!

Okay, so remember how Incedius looked like a hostile planet from the combat screen but turned out to be habitable? Well, I realized why. Above are my favorite results (so far!) of the map edit Sullla had to do to make this game work out properly. It actually will affect gameplay very slightly, as I won't always know which worlds to prioritize as targets from the combat screen, but I'll just take that to be part of our variant: A planet's environment type can not be absolutely determined without removing its defenses.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled report from the Acting Head! Take it away, Refrens eBook!

2370: Wha ... numm ... errr... No! I'm awake! I'm awake! Wasn't sleeping! At all! Especially not for a continuous period of several years! Okay! Uh ... let's see here. Looks like that blue star south of the bugs is barren (or something - they might have just pulled Tundra, or it might have been a habitable they forgot for a few decades) as it's now the Klackon colony of Arietis. The insects are feeling amiable, a state which could change instantly for no reason. We could have breakthroughs in computers and weapons at any moment, and our trade with the bugs is in the black, yielding a whopping three billion credits per year (yipeeeee...). Empire-wide unemployment is down to about 60% in spite of heavy research spending, with our planets almost fully populated. And ... uh ... that's it. How come I got the boring years?

[RefSteel]

I hate how he said he got the boring years as if a) they're not over yet, and b) he'd rather have exciting ones! What am I supposed to do if the bugs declare on me? I guess ignore them and build a base that's immune to their lasers if they send a fleet ... but still! And what happens if a plague hits Meklon or a computer virus hits construction? Refrens is complaining about boring?! Give me a break! And while you're at it, please give me some more boring years, please, thank you!

Okay, now for a look around the empire. We've got ... more than half our immature colonies doing research instead of building factories? Research emphasis in propulsion? What are we going to use that for? Does Refrens honestly believe there are any habitable stars left uncolonized in the galaxy, never mind within ten parsecs of our little corner - and that there will be still by the time we develop dotomite crystals and get ships to them? He was asleep at the wheel in more ways than one! Not much I can do in ten years, but I'd better get started on repairing things!

2373: Refrens shows up in my office with his emotional response indicator LEDs off, so I can't tell if he's shame-faced about his mistakes or miffed that I changed things around. He has good news though: We've got Hyper-V rockets ready to install in our missile bases, as soon as our planets can actually build any! All kinds of options to move forward, but I choose Neutron Pellet Gun rather than Ion Cannons or a slightly more advanced rocket. I'm starting to slide down the same slippery slope toward too much research that my predecessor did, but at least I'm doing it for the right reasons: We need reduced waste technology as soon as possible, if not sooner!

2376: The Blue Desert of Berel is our second fully-mature world (mainly because it's so tiny, it can't help finishing its factories!) and Kakata's unemployment is below 50%!

2377: Refrens eBook is back, with all his LEDs in working order!



Apparently, a few years in the lab have been good for him! He jubilantly reports that we've improved our robotic controls by 25%, and can now increase our commerce at Meklon and Berel once more! And though there's something to be said for a better combat computer, it's not going to be said by me - leave that to Admiral Refpect ForceTran! - so we're off to work on an Improved Space Scanner! I can just see our Intelligence Minister beaming.

2379: Well, speak of the devil! What is it, Refcon? You say the bugs have a newish fighter design at Kholdan, probably with Stabilizers? The Sabre, you say? And they now also have a large Ranger there? Well ... is there a reason I should care? No, no, please don't weep; I just haven't been paying any attention to the Klackons except to watch our charming little trade agreement continue to profit (barely). I'm sure your scouting report is very interesting and ... uh ... useful. I'll try real hard to care. And hey, did you know we're working on an Improved Scanner? Yay!!! I thought that would cheer you up! Good day!

Bah! What am I running here, an empire or a counseling center? Refrens can feel free to finish my waste reduction whenever he's ready, by the way.

2380: The crowning achievement of my reign:



Hey, it may not look like much, but considering what I inherited, I'd say 600 factories between Meklon and Berel is something to crow about! Besides, there's more good news! Refrofit will be glad to hear that - in spite of the jobs lost to automation with our new factory controls - Kakata is under 40% unemployment, and unemployment in the empire at large is under 50%, finally! Foreign Minister Refriendto AIliens will surely be pleased with our amiable friends and their NAP, in spite of the fact they could turn on us at any moment, and everyone (who's in his right mind at least!) should be pleased to hear our much-needed reduced waste technology is primed to complete in the next few years! Let's hear someone complain about this!

[RefSteel]

Eh? Complaints you say? Just one little nitpicky, unimportant little thing. Our worlds have no room to support any more people, with no chance of that changing since we're sure not going to develop more "advanced" bioengineered crops; there's no way to expand except straight through the Klackons; and while you were gazing rapt upon your tiny little trade agreement, this was happening:



Understand, I'm not blaming you for this - there's nothing you could have done to prevent it - but the bugs now have as many worlds as we do, and there's no telling what the Psilons and Humans are doing. We've got an uphill battle ahead of us, and it could take a long, long time at this rate - or end in our swift destruction! We need a plan, and I don't see anyone volunteering one that will do us any good. I've got my work cut out for me!

2381: Oh, no, oh no, oh no!!! On top of everything else, it's the single most terrifying force in the galaxy! Help! Stop! Nooooooooo!!! It's GNN!!!!! Please, please, please be just a demographics report! Pleeeeeeease!!! ... Wait ... wait, what?!



Yeah, my cybernetic jaw is hanging open too. You've gotta be kidding me! That's our second biggest planet after Meklon that just went rich! I'm suddenly not so worried about the apes and the brains!

I've had my doubts that I could pull this game off; I may have done well in the previous two Imperia, but my opening here was decidedly sub-par, as I kept seeking ways out of our corner that didn't exist, and then overcompensated whenever I realized each new means would fail. This random event is kind of lame, as it gives me a huge advantage, whereas someone else might have pulled mineral depletion instead (or one of the events Refinance ATM was worried about at the start of his turnset). Comparisons are kind of out the window with events on for this reason, especially with this map and variant: One planet goes poor, radiated, plagued, or into rebellion, and it's crippling. One planet goes rich, and ... well, we'll see what I can do with this thing! In fact ... it's a bit late to introduce another variant for this already-heavily-varianted game, but here goes: For the remainder of the game, or until the events luck evens out (I dunno ... Kakata going radiated and then getting a rebellion on top of it? I don't think anything short of that is going to be able to "even this out" ... and even that might have to happen soon!) the Meklar are Overconfident. We don't need other races; this is our galaxy! We will not offer any deals - no trade, no tech exchange, no threats, no DoW requests, nothing. We will not accept any deals offered to us by the filthy hostile-dwellers. I don't care if someone offers fusion engines for peace; it's not happening. Furthermore, we must always vote for ourselves if the High Council ever convenes. We know who should rule the galaxy, and we don't equivocate about it. Merely ruling the galaxy isn't good enough however; those vile hostile-dwellers make our hair stand on end underneath our cyberware. We must win by extermination! This means, if anyone wins an election, we must reject the decision and trigger final war, even if we're the ones who win!

2382: I take full credit for this luck, by the way. It's all about building up good karma for your reign. Remember how quiet I've been up until my turn to rule? Well, fortune's paying me back in spades!



Actually, we've had good chances of acquiring reduced waste technology for several years, so this isn't anything like as lucky as our miners' neutronium discovery, but it's still neat that it happened the very next year. Refrens can't think of anything with which to move forward other than improved factory building techniques, so I ask him to look into the Auto Repair System he mentioned to one of my predecessors instead. We need more cropland to support a growing population, and I believe I've already mentioned the only direction in which we can expand!

2383: Kakata hits zero unemployment, and goes to all-out mining, to ship minerals to our backwaters and get them up to speed! Uh ... and the Klackons have Aurora, the blue star far to the south. Kakata and all, this isn't going to be pretty.

2387: GNN is back! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease ... phew. Just fleet strengths. (We're last. Big surprise. Our Klackon neighbors are first, which is semi-interesting.)

2390: In the past three years, Jinga and Paranar have finished their factories, leaving only Zhardan with any more to build, and force fields, weapons, and propulsion have all advanced to the verge of breakthroughs. The empire is suddenly looking very, very healthy - so let's hear it for the phenomenal karma of the Agriculture Ministry!

[RefSteel]

Cool, my turn now! And I've got an idea! I'll give a bunch of free tech to the Klackons, get an alliance with them, and open up touring centers on their worlds too! Sound like a plan to everybody?

(Crashes; screams; tables overturning as the entire cabinet simultaneously reaches for whatever weapon happens to come to hand and trains it on the current Acting Head of RBO-12)

Kidding! Kidding! I just order up a few Scouts at Kakata, so we can do some traveling at least.

2391: Uh-oh. What did Refried say about Karma again?



I didn't mean to interrupt Refrens' report with a travel ad! I didn't! It was just ... oh, forget it. Looks like we're at war with the buggies. Had to happen eventually. I order Kakata to build a Tourist 2.0 - a long range scanner ship, of course! It's got a couple of lasers and a battle computer too: We travel in style, and in complete security, knowing we can always shoot down a stray fighter or two if they happen to come too close! And if you're worried about your safety while you visit our beautiful worlds - don't be worried! We've got bases starting to go up on Berel and Kakata even as we speak! At Meklar tours, we think of everything! Meklar Tours! Book it!

2393: We develop a nigh-useless Personal Deflector Shield ... and Dotomite Crystals! We can now tour more of the galaxy than ever! Refrens suggests that he could research a Class V Planetary Shield and though I point out that class 4 deflectors would make the Klackons' lasers obsolete even against our cruisers, he says, "If our enemies are still firing lasers by the time this tech comes in, we're not going to need the extra shielding." I'm not sure if this makes sense or not, but he's the research minister, and I'm out of my depth outside of travel, so I agree. We also have a choice between Uridium fuel cells and Warp Dissipator. I'm sure we want the fuel cells, but Refrens is insistent that there's no point in extending our range by just one more parsec at this point, so I cave again. I think I'm just still feeling bad about interrupting his report. But he was asleep!

Anyway, the Klackons have Hyper-V Rockets now, just like us, and also have class 2 shields! Refrens says this is "Hopelessly backward technology," but when I ask, "Doesn't that make us hopelessly backward?" he promises to explain some other time. I hope I'm not being a pushover or anything. As long as he buys the tour package, I don't care! Wait, wrong role. But the point is, I'm hopefully getting my karma back! (Is that a real thing? Never mind. We'll go with it anyway.)

2394: Zhardan has finished its factories! We have zero percent unemployment throughout the Meklar empire! Refrofit is actually dancing in the streets of Meklon! I think he might be slightly drunk, actually. Um, he just kissed an automated street sweep-o-matic. I draw the blinds. I haven't actually built any bases, by the way. That's why Admiral Refpect's jumping up and down on the furniture. The thing is, why should I pay maintenance on bases if the bugs aren't really going to attack? I've got a couple [/b]almost[/b] built, and I can make more if they're needed. Anyway, right now I'm just waiting for my scouts to report. Sweet empire we've got here, though. You should visit.

2395: Wait, no, not you, Ixitixl!! I didn't mean you should visit!



Okay, here's what I know about that fleet: All the little ships are laser fighters that my bases won't care about, especially the Cutlasses, which are very old. One of my Scouts just got to Incedius (you can see it leaving now, toward the red star where my cursor's pointing) and found out the Sabres have Inertial Stabilizers but the Rangers don't, and the Rangers might or might not carry bombs, but they also have something for fighting actual ships. Uh ... and that's it. Maybe I can find out more later on. Anyway, Berel gets all the resources I can throw at it, and starts building actual bases, while I concentrate on bringing in our new research projects as fast as we can, so we can build a defense fleet!

2396: My Tourist reports from Kholdan, and we find out what the Rangers look like!



Uh-oh. This means there are a lot of Hyper-V missiles in the incoming fleet. This calls for emergency measures! My Tourist retreats from Kholdan, and will return to Berel in time to meet the enemy. I also ... wait, what's this? Tyr, that green star south of Kholdan, is a nice big arid world! It doesn't even have bases yet! That's actually very interesting - for later! Right now, there should be a ridiculously high net chance of figuring out at least some kind of technology by next year, especially if you count the spying we're doing on the bugs. We'd also better, because if we want to build a defensive fleet from off-world, next year will be our last chance!

2397: Okay, that red star southwest of the nebula is the Alkari world of Kailis. It's impossible to know what kind of climate it has, but it's probably habitable at least, considering its 69 population. And Aurora is ... something. Maybe a minimal from the look of the thing, but don't bet your microchips on it just yet, with 37 population. And we do learn to build NPGs, but nothing else. Even I know we don't want an Ion Rifle, so our next weapons project will be Scatter Pack V Rockets. All right! Meklon and Jinga will each build a stack of identical NPG fighters, Neutrino 2As and Bs, with relocation orders for Berel! I wanted to call them Tourguards, but I was worried the rest of the oligarchy would get confused. And still great chances that computers or construction tech will be ready for Berel's home-defense fleet by next year!

2398: All right! We have an Improved Space Scanner! And an Automated Repair System! Took us long enough! Looks like Battle Computer Mark V is the only way to improve our computer technology, so that's up next! Likewise for Improved Industrial Tech 6 in construction - in fact, it's the only thing we can research in the field! Aurora does turn out to be a minimal world, and mineral rich (of course - isn't everything?) so we're going to want to take it as soon as we get the chance. And ... the Klackons have scrapped their Cutlass design! This should virtually guarantee that I can save Berel! The blue desert itself builds a fourth base and as many Neutrino 2Cs as it can manage on top of that, and....

2399: The battle is joined!



We lose our poor Tourist and more than half of our fighters, but all the Klackon fighters and two thirds of their Rangers burn before the rest retreat! And our beautiful tourist attraction, the sapphire desert of Berel, is completely unharmed in the fight! Yyyyyyeeesssssss!

Refcon AIssance comes by and tries to rain on my parade with reports that the bugs have a brand-new fighter design, but I have the perfect answer: We're getting a new design too! Kakata will build over 200 small nuclear bombers with reserve fuel tanks: The Tourorist 2s!

2400: Well ... I get another scouting report. That white star over by Klackon space? It's the Omicron asteroid belt. Also, there are some Psilon transports heading for Aurora, so I'm not sure who we'll be attacking when we get there - not that it matters, really. I think the brains and bugs are allies, so ... does that change anything? Whatever; time to go on tour ... with our nuclear bombers! I don't know what the Admiral will think of my attack plan, but it's the best I could do on short notice. I have to admit I feel kind of silly doing all this myself, with Admiral Refpect up next, but I wasn't the one who started this war, and anyway, the bugs and their stupid fleets are a real discouragement to tourism, and the only way to extend our travel routes now is by taking their worlds!

[RefSteel]

Well, well, well! Do my eyes deceive me, or do we actually have the beginnings of an attack fleet, all ready for me to use, before I even take over the empire? And almost the beginnings of a plan, even! The bombs on the colony ship are a nice touch too - cheap, but plenty good for bombing out that last population at the colony we want to rebuild, just in case our bombers don't quite nail it. Just a couple things that need changing: Research emphasis should be more on CPUs for that sweet little battle computer upgrade, and our fleets need to be consolidated. Once we take Aurora, everything else is going to fall like a set of dominos, but we need to make sure of Aurora: Chase two rabbits, and we're gonna wind up with no stew! That also means finishing only one colony ship at Kakata this year, to give us more options later. No problem there though; I'll just do a slight redesign on our new combat settler and give it a decent name - Tour Bus just isn't cutting it. Oh, and one last thing: As long as we have the Aurora Option, there's no need to spend all these resources trying to get a fast spy hit on Ixitixl. If Stabilizer's worth a major investment, we'll figure one out for ourselves when the time comes! I'll keep intel up to date and give that theft a chance, but that's it. Overall though, not bad at all for a travel agent trying to run a war!

2403: Nothing against the birdbrains, you understand...



...but if Zoctan was open for scouting, I'd have put up a big sign to say it. A bunch of freshly-built Neutrinos also head down to Xengara, ready to proceed to Aurora once it's ours. They'll put up a nice reception for visiting alien fleets and especially any transports that might drop by for a chat. At the same time, my lone remaining Neutrino 2A hits the scrap heap because the Klackons are getting on my nerves - more are incoming to Berel - and in spite of our long-range assault fleet and defensive fighters, we don't really have a navy. Well, Kakata's getting set to build one: A one-ship navy!



A few of our other worlds will help out with reserves, but Berel's all done building defenses. It's not going to need any more.

2404: Aurora's got a Ranger in orbit now, but that shouldn't put any serious crimp in my plans. My Scout just retreats. Now, there's something I have to say, and it's this: This spying thing is ridiculous. Our computers are about a hundred times better than anything the bugs have got, and we haven't had a spy success in ages, but here the Klackons go blowing up an entire Meklon factory! Now, where do they get off doing a thing like that? It's costing Meklon something like 1% of its GNP to put another one up in its place. Oh, and the bugs have death spores now, so we'll probably have to exterminate them sooner rather than later, sad to say.

2405: The enemy Ranger retreats as our Tourorists move in on Aurora, and we find out it's a good thing I didn't split the fleet like Refcreational wanted. Even as it is, it'll take us another year or two to properly turn this planet to glass!

2406: Well, we're at the second battle of Berel. You can see why I didn't bother with any more bases: We've got a whole navy in orbit - specifically, the Navy 2.0!



I have to admit I handled this wrong. Should have gone after the Rangers first thing. As it is, they managed to take out all our bases with those rockets of theirs before I could destroy them all. Of course we won the battle - the poor bugs can't harm my Navy in any kind of permanent way - but a mistake's a mistake. Small loss, even so. It'll save us some maintenance, and I'm not really afraid of the Klackons going after the place anymore.

We go ahead and bomb Aurora, but it's no good: They've got three million insects left. That's a real shame, since there are probably bug transports on the way already from close by, and that's going to delay our long-range plans ... but that's all right; we've got a Navy now to deal with Kholdan, and most of the Aurora bombers can still go up to Tyr, just to get started on it. I'm leaving plenty behind to take care of business.

2407: Like I said...



...plenty to take care of business. The rest of the Tourorists follow their buddies up toward Tyr. I notice the Klackons have a new Cutlass design, but it's not going to be that much better than the old one. They're also at war with their long-time allies, the Alkari - no doubt because the voices in Ixitixl's head told her the birds were cleverly-disguised aardvarks or something.

2408: The Navy stuck around at Zoctan for a look at the Psilon Dark Stars, and it turns out they're carrying nothing but Death Spores. Afraid that means the nerdlings'll have to be wiped out like the bugs: Soon. The ones arriving at Zoctan retreat too fast to even get killed, unfortunately. There's better news coming though: It looks like the Klackons never sent an early batch of transports - just a slow one from far away - so we should be able to interdict them without trouble, and I go ahead and add our seventh world to the empire!



The new Aurora colony's scanners show that I was right: Plenty of time for my Neutrinos to play with the Dreadwing at Xengara, and still head down to stop the transports coming Aurora's way. Meanwhile, I send Meklar transports there! There's no way I'd do this, of course, if I wasn't dead certain our fighters would kill the bug transports as they try to land. We're not putting any of our people on the same planet as insects! Those bugs are contaminated with life on hostile worlds!

2409: Our first wave of Tourorists reaches Tyr. The defending fleet runs away before we can do more than advance. Then it turns out there are Psilons visiting Xengara as well as Alkari - and the Brains' Star Blade has a maneuverability class of at least 4! It's armed with Gats, but doesn't seem to be able to do much damage with them. Maybe there are a bunch of spores on there too. It kills about 5 of my ships - not enough to matter - before it dies. The birds' Dreadwing carries lasers too, but of the Heavy and Normal varieties. It kills one Neutrino. So....



Looks like Ixitixl's down on all six of her knees, begging for peace. She gets a horse laugh for her trouble. No mercy for civilizations that use death spores - or any other planetology tech, for that matter! Also this year, around the time bombardment commences at Tyr, we discover that Whynil has 80 population, so it must be another habitable world. In case you were wondering, that means this galaxy is officially ours. My entire Xengara fleet heads down to Aurora to stop transports, and we're ready for phase 2 of the Klackon war!

2410: The battle for Kholdan commences. The planet opens by firing on our Neutrinos, then goes after the Mobile HQ, forcing those ships to retreat without firing a shot, and leaving the Navy to take everything on without any help from its buddies.



No problem. The enemy ships retreat when they see it's hopeless; it isn't too long before there are too few bases left to even match the Navy's repair rate, and pretty soon, it's all over.

Our spies get the keys to a Klackon base, but it's just a planetology research center, so I tell them not to bother investigating. We don't want any of that junk. Better to do our own research - as Refrens eBook amply demonstrates when he brings in plans for MRVing versions of our current rockets! He says something funny about a Graviton Beam, which I chuckle at politely as I inform him that our next research project will be into an Anti-Matter Bomb. We get scouting reports of Kholdan and yet another toxic world (Exis, at the red star south of Arietis) before bombing Tyr to within an inch of its life, and bombing Kholdan ... somewhat less. The Navy's quite the space superiority ship, but its bombardment capabilities are less than I was hoping. Well, it's still a good ship, and me, I don't tell pit bulls to run, and I don't tell greyhounds to fight. The Navy is given a more suitable task.

Well, that's all! My successor will have to deal with another fleet bound for Berel, but that shouldn't be a problem; those Ranger missile boats mean fighters are the best response until Refrens can figure out a planetary shield. And you've seen the bombardment limitations of our Navy and Tourorists, so I've taken the liberty of designing a TacNuke 2.0, and giving orders for their construction throughout our core. I'm sure you'll agree this is our priority now: Get these spore-bearing Klackons - and Psilons! - out of here!