[SPOILERS] Churchill of Portugal: Gallipoli Part II

[spacetyrantxenu]

The problem wasn't getting the AI to defend, I set that part up fine. I didn't have the exact fortification value for each defending unit, couldn't get that until I got to that unit during the real attack. That's why I estimated instead. I was OK on that count. The problem was failing to spot the shock axe before I had spent four units.

[novice]

I didn't have the exact fortification value for each defending unit, couldn't get that until I got to that unit during the real attack.

Yeah, that's annoying.

[Ceiliazul]

What's the post-war plan? Or is this just wartime radio silence?

[spacetyrantxenu]

Sorry for the lack of updates. I was a bit disappointed with that performance and lost my motivation to report. I've been taking pictures so I can piece together some reports when I get back into it. Global lurkers likely know from reading Brick's thread that some nice world map trades have gone around. I can see where everyone on this landmass is, which is everyone except for Plako, Slowcheetah, and Merohoc from what I can tell. Maybe they're on this landmass too, just outside of the traded map area. I'm not sure. Maybe next turn I can answer that question -- as of T101 I've met Merohoc and offered a map trade. As his work boat found me he may not be inclined to take the deal but I'm sure he'll be glad he did (unless Brick has already met him, I didn't think to check for that).

[Ceiliazul]

Has the recent flood of whip anger begun subsiding yet?

[spacetyrantxenu]

Yeah I'm doing pretty good on that count now. My approval rate is up to 59% as of T101, part of that is from the new city I founded several turns back. I probably have 5 whip to work off now, so it's within a manageable range where I can resume stripping the hide off my serfs if they need it.

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

At least you have a sizable HR garrison to mitigate the whip anger. Some screenshots are in order, if nothing else the world map with no commentary.

[spacetyrantxenu]

First, a refresher. When we last had live reporting in this thread we observed the Tyrant in his natural state, exhibiting poor decision making and illustrating how one goes about turning a mediocre game situation into one that's decidedly worse. Now, over a week later, what ills has the Tyrant done to his people and his ramshackle empire? Read on to find out!

T94 - We rejoin our action following the generals' poor showing on the battle field. Only after sending several legions to their death did the generals observe that the enemy had somewhat reinforced their position and made the attack more futile than it had been even at first. Leaving the dead to rot on the field of battle, the generals ordered a disorderly retreat and hastily got the hell out of Dodge. Seeking desperately to find a way to spin gold out of this pig shit the generals decide that they will inform the emperor that the enemy did not want to fight, that there was a negotiated peace, and the the terms were favorable to our side -- leaving aside the small matter of the dead legions and not burning the enemy city they were sent to destroy. The Tyrant saw through the lies, sacked the generals (not figuratively, they were quartered before being sacked), and absorbed their estates back into his own demesne. This was not just an act of the Tyrant's justice; the economy had been wrecked by the war and the Tyrant knew he would need more land to begin economic recovery. Thus, we pick up the story in the year 525 BC:




In this artist's rendition of the period, seen above, we can see the generals leading the surviving army back toward the empire in disgrace. Surveyors had drafted new plans to lay out additional cities, what would become the future cities of Black Fish and Old Fish. The trench diggers and stone layers were busily preparing the terrain near these locales for the planned cities, chopping jungle and laying the roads that the Tyrant hoped would fuel the economic recovery. But the Tyrant knew there would be a long way to go to recover from this mess. After being presented with a dreadful report of the empire, seen below, the Tyrant personally threw his chief economist down a deep well.

No word has ever been heard whether or not the Tyrant threw himself down the well afterward, as the invasion plan and ensuing disaster had been his ow creation. In any case, shooting the messenger was a long and ignoble tradition in the Portuguese Empire, a danger well known to everyone ever drafted into the profession. It was generally thought that even front line infantry (in this army!) had a longer life expectancy than the Tyrant's closest staff, yet the positions never ceased to be filled, meaning there was always someone to blame for the Tyrant's mistakes.

Carry on!

[spacetyrantxenu]

T95 - In the year 500 BC the empire saw populations swell at Red Fish and Blue Fish. Red Fish was home to 232,000 mostly sad souls, Blue Fish the home of a more modest 90,000. Still, as large as those two frontier towns had grown, they were a shadow of the importance of the empire's two jewels, One Fish and Two Fish. In this time Two Fish was the larger city, home to an estimated 469,000 mostly unhappy serfs. But it was a city of filth and squalor, to say nothing of the (continuing) rioting that was in that era commonplace in all three of the empire's largest cities.




One Fish was smaller in size, home to only 337,000 or so (depending on how many executions the Tyrant carried out on a given day) but carried out the bulk of the empire's research. In these days the Tyrant had his most learned scholars seeking a way to name him Tyrant in perpetuity. They would soon devise a willing scheme: They would create a Monarchy! (Due in 1T). With the empire's funds dwindling to nothing on the back of a broken economy, what better way is there to boost public morale and prevent a general uprising than to hold an enormous celebration -- nay, a coronation! -- in honor of the leader who had brought the empire to its state of, er, well...'splendor' is much too strong a word...hmmm. In any event the records show that the ruling despot decided he wanted to be a king as well, and he would pull off the feat mostly by coercion and threat of imminent death to anyone in opposition of the new scheme.

Meanwhile the three cities continued to burn as the riots dragged on for another quarter century. (Ungrateful, unwashed masses!)

[spacetyrantxenu]

T96 - In an age of misery at home, the luckiest men in the empire were those quarantined on a small fishing vessel out on a mission nominally of exploration. In reality it was safer to be as far away from the Tyrant as possible so there was no shortage of volunteers for the voyages of the sailing ship Oh the Places You Will Go! Here we see some of the charts sent back by the leader of the expedition in the year 475 BC:




It puzzled the men at the time to see the isolated, floating cultural boundaries encompassing the clam beds and surrounding ocean, but later scholars explain the odd national borders as follows:

The crabs and ocean tile are in Mayan culture because they are within a possible BFC of a city on the same continent as the city that produced the culture (i.e., within 2 tiles of the shore, at the horse tile). That is 4th ring culture from some big city where Serdoa has been wonder-whoring for the entire game.

Given the options to continue exploring into Mayan territory and probably dying (at some point) if they committed the act of war, the explorers would turn their vessel around and keep sailing around, hoping to go anywhere but home.




But they may have been heartened to hear of events back home, had they the stomach to return. At that time the empire celebrated the settlement of a new village at the rump end of civilization, Black Fish, what should have been a city of victory after conquest, but what ended up as a consolation prize after ignoble military defeat. Founded in the depths of a vast jungle with mosquitoes and myriad poisonous snakes as the indigenous wildlife, the empire's lowliest and most despairing workers began cutting away huge swaths of the thickets to create farm land where suitable crops could one day be grown. The Tyrant planned to farm it all, grow the city large on its own produce, and then encourage economic growth by promoting an urban sprawl of cottages, hamlets, and towns away from the city center. It would be a long term plan. In the meantime, why not take a few years off and endure a bit of anarchy?



Ah, yes. In addition to naming himself king, the Tyrant decided to organize around One True Religion. Buddhism had already been the state religion, but now it was just a bit more organized and official. Heretics, of course, would have to be burned at the stake. The illiterate peasantry obviously approved of the moves, as the Tyrant's approval rating jumped 10% as compared to the previous census recording.