So, what's this? Apparently, Civilization 4 can be played single player you guys. I've lately become obsessed with this minigame called “roll a Totestra script and droll over the map porn”, so when Brick alerted me that this adventure was on the script, I said eh, why not? Thus, I am here.
The game starts us in a pretty cool location, this one absurd peninsula city with WAY TOO MUCH FOOD and jack diddly all else. Monarch difficulty was about my max back in the old days when I played Single Player, so I opted for a fairly mild varriant: Cottage Anti-Cheese...thou shalt never own a cottage. Second, although it's barely a variant given the first, Financial, and coast's existence...Only Allowed to Make One Off-Coast City Until Game is Defacto Won. The defacto bit is because we're all reasonably familiar with that “won this, playing it out” feeling, I didn't want to limit myself for amusing diversions during the silly season. All this made for a pretty passive early game, particularly once the scout died turn 16.
Good riddance. The silly bugger hadn't managed to find any horses and didn't pop any techs for us. Copper did show up of course and I next settled what is probably the Bog Standard second city for it. Sharing the capital’s excessive food is a must, and since I weirdly decided not to push hard for Stonehenge (probably stupid), I needed pre-hooked food to allow the monument whip.
This is where I begin to feel embarrassed. I’m freaking IMPERIALISTIC, with hills aplenty and woods too; why on Brick’s green earth am I this underexpanded? I thus commenced to buckle down a bit more and shot out to five cities by t75; not great but at least acceptable.
It was around this time that I noticed the scenario was definitely slanted to a bit of a “South America” vibe, with north being Mexican (Aztec), then Brazil (Portugal), other south of the border stuff (Maya), and finally Argentines (Deutch Dutch). Okay, it's a bit of a stretch. But this map's awesome north-south strip of land was clearly Chile, and so Chile we were renamed. Everything west of the Andies!
Given the second variant restriction, I was very glad that the mountain range was only one tile wide. Wheat, sheep, spices, and ivory were all claimed by my cites hugging the coast, which of course did leave me with massive vulnerable roads to protect from barbarians. That was fine. And here is where I made my first mistake along the “trivialize the adventure” lines; I built the Great Lighthouse.
At the time, I was struggling to make ends meet, being health, happy, and good tile starved. But my AI rivals were struggling a bit, Monarchs don't exactly impress with eptitude. Joao, to my wondering eyes, managed to lose himself a city to the jungly barbarians of the east...I stupidly lost this observer soon after, of course. Still, nobody is swimming in competence here.
I did consider what my religion should be for a while but dear Willie made the choice for me; I was invaded by Confucian missionaries. Willem is easily the most friendly of my neighbors, but everyone seems pretty happy at this point; the vast amounts of unappealing land really tones down AI aggression.
Although Willem was annoyingly crushing with his culture. This is my southern border city, where the Andies finally peter out. Naturally, I opted for “beakers toward Bureaucracy and maces”, thank you very much.
Monty was making me suspicious, of course, by this point. He'd carved a nice little empire over the northern area, using his Great Wall to make himself some nice Scotland Yards
I comenced to building a fort to portage over to Monty's sheltered little bay.
Whatever, dude. In Chile, priority is glorious coastal tourism and magnificent hilly mines. I popped another copper in my first golden age...
...and followed with a copper dude in Santiago. This city with Moai, Colossus, and Financial? Definitely a capital worthy of the name. Generally the first golden age was used to really solidify my lead in tech (CS) and points (wonders). I think the AIs started getting jealuous of Santiago.
...because finally, with zero indication before hand or warning, Montezuma declared war.
The game starts us in a pretty cool location, this one absurd peninsula city with WAY TOO MUCH FOOD and jack diddly all else. Monarch difficulty was about my max back in the old days when I played Single Player, so I opted for a fairly mild varriant: Cottage Anti-Cheese...thou shalt never own a cottage. Second, although it's barely a variant given the first, Financial, and coast's existence...Only Allowed to Make One Off-Coast City Until Game is Defacto Won. The defacto bit is because we're all reasonably familiar with that “won this, playing it out” feeling, I didn't want to limit myself for amusing diversions during the silly season. All this made for a pretty passive early game, particularly once the scout died turn 16.
Good riddance. The silly bugger hadn't managed to find any horses and didn't pop any techs for us. Copper did show up of course and I next settled what is probably the Bog Standard second city for it. Sharing the capital’s excessive food is a must, and since I weirdly decided not to push hard for Stonehenge (probably stupid), I needed pre-hooked food to allow the monument whip.
This is where I begin to feel embarrassed. I’m freaking IMPERIALISTIC, with hills aplenty and woods too; why on Brick’s green earth am I this underexpanded? I thus commenced to buckle down a bit more and shot out to five cities by t75; not great but at least acceptable.
It was around this time that I noticed the scenario was definitely slanted to a bit of a “South America” vibe, with north being Mexican (Aztec), then Brazil (Portugal), other south of the border stuff (Maya), and finally Argentines (Deutch Dutch). Okay, it's a bit of a stretch. But this map's awesome north-south strip of land was clearly Chile, and so Chile we were renamed. Everything west of the Andies!
Given the second variant restriction, I was very glad that the mountain range was only one tile wide. Wheat, sheep, spices, and ivory were all claimed by my cites hugging the coast, which of course did leave me with massive vulnerable roads to protect from barbarians. That was fine. And here is where I made my first mistake along the “trivialize the adventure” lines; I built the Great Lighthouse.
At the time, I was struggling to make ends meet, being health, happy, and good tile starved. But my AI rivals were struggling a bit, Monarchs don't exactly impress with eptitude. Joao, to my wondering eyes, managed to lose himself a city to the jungly barbarians of the east...I stupidly lost this observer soon after, of course. Still, nobody is swimming in competence here.
I did consider what my religion should be for a while but dear Willie made the choice for me; I was invaded by Confucian missionaries. Willem is easily the most friendly of my neighbors, but everyone seems pretty happy at this point; the vast amounts of unappealing land really tones down AI aggression.
Although Willem was annoyingly crushing with his culture. This is my southern border city, where the Andies finally peter out. Naturally, I opted for “beakers toward Bureaucracy and maces”, thank you very much.
Monty was making me suspicious, of course, by this point. He'd carved a nice little empire over the northern area, using his Great Wall to make himself some nice Scotland Yards
I comenced to building a fort to portage over to Monty's sheltered little bay.Whatever, dude. In Chile, priority is glorious coastal tourism and magnificent hilly mines. I popped another copper in my first golden age...
...and followed with a copper dude in Santiago. This city with Moai, Colossus, and Financial? Definitely a capital worthy of the name. Generally the first golden age was used to really solidify my lead in tech (CS) and points (wonders). I think the AIs started getting jealuous of Santiago.
...because finally, with zero indication before hand or warning, Montezuma declared war.
If only you and me and dead people know hex, then only deaf people know hex.
I write RPG adventures, and blog about it, check it out.
I write RPG adventures, and blog about it, check it out.
Though I suppose I rather brought it on myself... still, I'm surprised Monty didn't lash out at you Just Because.