Dear Diary,
We are definitely not working for a clandestine undersea alien organization in their fight against other undersea aliens. We are definitely all human, all the way up the command chain! You can tell because the horrible underwater alien menaces all have weapons that work equally well on land or sea, whereas we humans only know how to use harpoon launchers and like that, even when we have to fight in the open air, where our best equipment doesn't even work! This makes all kinds of logical sense, so don't worry.
Today, our definitely-human overlords sent us after an Aquatoid crash site, and it was grisly! My fellow shapesh... my ... um, my fellow humans who are all in great shape because of working out so much, exactly like I was saying, were dropping left and right; it was terrible! On the plus side, I got to blow up an aquatoid in a burst of shockwave bubbles, and I did some helpful spotting for my squadmates, pinning down those aliens' exact locations ... errrr ... at least to within a couple of dozen meters. Command complained about the other guys' accuracy, but ... uh ... I ... may not have given the very best possible directions for where to throw those grenades and everything. But hey! I'm learning! I even got to shoot harpoons at something, although I admit that you couldn't have guessed what I was trying to shoot just from where my shots landed. Er. But we brought the sub back, and some Aquatoid corpses, so I think we're doing great!
Also the guys keep joking about me and something about my grenades? Something to do with it being "sunny" someplace? I don't know. At least my throws were better than my directions. Got that flare just right for El Grillo to bring us home. Good to know we've got people like that on the squad who can come through in the clutch!
Unlike, you know, me.
Yours while this meat-shape lasts, I mean body, I mean lifetime,
RefSteel, Able Seaman
We are definitely not working for a clandestine undersea alien organization in their fight against other undersea aliens. We are definitely all human, all the way up the command chain! You can tell because the horrible underwater alien menaces all have weapons that work equally well on land or sea, whereas we humans only know how to use harpoon launchers and like that, even when we have to fight in the open air, where our best equipment doesn't even work! This makes all kinds of logical sense, so don't worry.
Today, our definitely-human overlords sent us after an Aquatoid crash site, and it was grisly! My fellow shapesh... my ... um, my fellow humans who are all in great shape because of working out so much, exactly like I was saying, were dropping left and right; it was terrible! On the plus side, I got to blow up an aquatoid in a burst of shockwave bubbles, and I did some helpful spotting for my squadmates, pinning down those aliens' exact locations ... errrr ... at least to within a couple of dozen meters. Command complained about the other guys' accuracy, but ... uh ... I ... may not have given the very best possible directions for where to throw those grenades and everything. But hey! I'm learning! I even got to shoot harpoons at something, although I admit that you couldn't have guessed what I was trying to shoot just from where my shots landed. Er. But we brought the sub back, and some Aquatoid corpses, so I think we're doing great!
Also the guys keep joking about me and something about my grenades? Something to do with it being "sunny" someplace? I don't know. At least my throws were better than my directions. Got that flare just right for El Grillo to bring us home. Good to know we've got people like that on the squad who can come through in the clutch!
Unlike, you know, me.
Yours while this meat-shape lasts, I mean body, I mean lifetime,
RefSteel, Able Seaman