Gamebooks (Choose Your Own Adventure Style)

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

El Planeta Más Extraño del Mundo Alternate Endings Part 16 + 17


Picking the pawn in CHOICE #25 moves to CHOICE #26, where you can go to a white knight, a black bishop, or the giant pawn.  Two of these end in generic Deaths, so I'll post them here.  First is knight:


"You feel very weak, so much, although you think you're slowly advancing with difficulty to the very strange building in the shape of a horse, you don't see it any closer, but it moves farther and farther away.  You begin to suspect that you're suffering hallucinations produced by hunger and by the enormous exhaustion you feel.  Just at that instant, you lose your senses and fall fainting to the ground unconscious.  END".


Second is bishop:


"With what little strength remains for you, you direct your steps to that bishop that is seen in the distance (lontananza).  But you feel very weak, so much that each step is harder than the last.  You decide to sit down to rest for a bit, but upon doing so your hunger pangs are sharpening.  Besides, you feel very thirsty.  What little strength you have is disappearing.


You visualize your state in the form of a video game.  If you were an avatar of some game, you would be at the edge of consuming all your energy, in the absolute red zone.  When you lose your senses, it is with that image in your head.  END".


Results So Far


1 Good Endings

6 Deaths

9 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

2 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

El Planeta Más Extraño del Mundo Alternate Endings Part 18


Let's move on with CHOICE #26 by examining the giant floating pawn.  Some nearby squares are green instead of black or white.  Lorenzo can either step on one of those in CHOICE #27, or approach the pawn some more.  The joke's on the player, as the Grim Reaper awaits once you "observe your surroundings" in CHOICE #1.  It's the R.A. Montgomery no-win situation found in books like Lost Jewels of Nabooti.


If you move to CHOICE #25 from #1, you either pass out while looking for the rook in CHOICE #25, or the knight and bishop in CHOICE #26, or CHOICE #28 if you get even closer to the pawn in CHOICE #27.  And if you step on the green square in CHOICE #27, this slightly more original text appears:



"You hardly rest one of your feet on the green square, when the gigantic building in the form of a pawn that you've left behind that it begins to move toward the space where you've just stepped, and it places itself on the square where you are, crushing you completely.


I know that if you were still conscious, you'd know how trees feel when they're turned into paper, or pizza dough when the chef turns it into a round disc.  And I assure you that it isn't pleasant to pass from 3 to 2 dimensions".


Are trees and pizzas intelligent in this universe?  Read El Expreso Intergaláctico and find out.  Or don't, because I can't stand this author's work any more.


Results So Far


1 Good Endings

 7 Deaths

9 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

2 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

El Planeta Más Extraño del Mundo Dead Ends


Shouting "Who's talking to me?" in CHOICE #1 opens CHOICE #29.  We learn a bit more about this universe, when Lorenzo recalls hearing about "theme planets, property of large corporations or eccentric millionaires, where they organize play activities, fictitious battles, and games".


Euros must be much more valuable in Javier Nodras books, since mere millionaires can't buy planets with the Euros we know.  Remember when Magrathea's planet-building industry shut down in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when nobody could afford their services?


CHOICE #29 is to tell the truth about being stranded, or to ask about the experience offered on Tigran Petrosian.  The latter predictably moves to CHOICE #17.  And so does telling the truth.  The only difference is that the player learns that Lorenzo's uncle is named Federico.


That's it.  No more endings!  Now we can move on to a (hopefully) better Choose Your Own Adventure.

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

El Planeta Más Extraño del Mundo CHOICE Map


If any of you had trouble following the plot of a subpar Spanish gamebook where the best conclusion feels like a consolation prize in Ultimate Ending, here's the CHOICE layout from my Microsoft Word notes.  
 


CHOICE #1
-Shout to the 4 winds “I’m very hungry”:  Go to CHOICE #2 (CLEAR)
-Shout “Who’s talking to me?”:  Go to CHOICE #29 (CLEAR)
-Observe your surroundings:  Go to CHOICE #25 (CLEAR)
 


CHOICE #2
-Ask what the requirements for landing are:  Go to CHOICE #24 (CLEAR)
-Insist that you’re dying of hunger:  Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR)
-Ask why the planet is called Tigran Petrosian:  Go to CHOICE #15 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #3
-Open the packet:  Go to CHOICE #4 (CLEAR)
-Protest because you wanted food:  Go to CHOICE #23 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #4
-Drop paper:  INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, arrested for littering, sentence unclear)
-Keep the paper in your pocket:  Go to CHOICE #5 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #5
-Ask about yellow capsule:  Go to CHOICE #22 (CLEAR)
-Swallow yellow capsule:  Go to CHOICE #6 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #6
-White tower:  Go to CHOICE #11 (CLEAR)
-Pawn building:  Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #7
-Horse building:  DEATH (CLEAR, fall asleep forever)
-King building:  Go to CHOICE #8 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #8
-Passive strategy:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, enslaved after pieces explode)
-Active strategy:  Go to CHOICE #9 (CLEAR)
-Try to escape on your ship:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, surrendering equals enslavement)
 

CHOICE #9
-Initiate hostilities:  Go to CHOICE #10 (CLEAR)
-Protect king:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, enslaved after paralyzed by laser)
 


CHOICE #10
-Annihilate both queens:  Go to CHOICE #10 (CLEAR)
-Preserve your queen:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, defeat and enslavement)
-Establish contact with rival:  Go to CHOICE #10 (CLEAR)
-Maintain a direct battle with rival:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, trapped on red square, enslaved)
-Propose to handshake for peace:  GOOD ENDING (CLEAR, draw declared, both players leave planet)
-Take advantage of him letting down guard:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, enslaved after you betray rival and lose)


CHOICE #11
-Approach the rook square:  Go to CHOICE #12 (CLEAR)
-Ask permission to enter the rook:  Go to CHOICE #21 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #12
-Put your hand under rook:  INCONCLUSIVE ENDING (CLEAR, hand crushed, may die too)
-Stand up and push rook:  Go to CHOICE #13 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #13
-Go to pawn:  Go to CHOICE #7 (CLEAR)
-Ask in a loud voice why the rooks float:  Go to CHOICE #14 (CLEAR)
 


CHOICE #14
-Ask why planet is called Tigran Petrosian:  Go to CHOICE #15 (CLEAR)
-Ask what the game is:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)
-Ask about who your rival is:  Go to CHOICE #20 (CLEAR)
 
 
CHOICE #15
-Ask who the proprietor of planet is:  Go to CHOICE #16 (CLEAR)
-Ask where to get food:  Go to CHOICE #3 (CLEAR)
 
 
CHOICE #16
-Ask about activities organized on this planet:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)
-Decide to flee to your spaceship:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, waste all fuel, enslaved)
 

CHOICE #17
-Ask about the rules of game “by chance”:  Go to CHOICE #19 (CLEAR)
-Ask about “succulent prize”:  Go to CHOICE #18 (CLEAR)
-Try to escape “in the ship in which you landed”:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, same as CHOICE #16)
 


CHOICE #18
-Ask about rules of game “by chance”:  Go to CHOICE #19 (CLEAR)
-Don’t want to play game “under any concept”:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, same as CHOICE #8)
 

CHOICE #19
-Ask where the white king is:  Go to CHOICE #8 (CLEAR, minus run away option)
-Look for white king on your own:  DEATH (CLEAR, so much empty space, die of exhaustion)
 

CHOICE #20
-Say you don’t even like Parcheesi:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, robots enslave you, “personal adscrito”)
-Ask more about game:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)
 


CHOICE #21
-Approach rook square:  Go to CHOICE #12 (CLEAR)
-Ask for rules of game:  Go to CHOICE #19 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #22
-Swallow capsule:  Go to CHOICE #6 (CLEAR)
-Do not ingest capsule:  DEATH (CLEAR, toss pill aside, look for it again but it’s evaporated)
 


CHOICE #23
-Open packet:  Go to CHOICE #4 (CLEAR)
-Don’t open packet:  DEATH (CLEAR, same as CHOICE #22)
 

CHOICE #24
-Want to learn more about game:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)
-Flee:  BAD ENDING (CLEAR, enslaved, Article and Paragraph mentioned)
 


CHOICE #25
-Rook:  DEATH (CLEAR, short ending with exhaustion)
-Pawn:  Go to CHOICE #26 (CLEAR)
 


CHOICE #26
-White knight:  DEATH (CLEAR, usual exhaustion)
-Black bishop:  DEATH (CLEAR, with video game metaphor for exhaustion)
-Gigantic pawn:  Go to CHOICE #27 (CLEAR)
 

CHOICE #27
-Green square:  DEATH (CLEAR, crushed by pawn, narrator talks about paper and pizza)
-Get even closer to pawn:  Go to CHOICE #28 (CLEAR)
 


CHOICE #28
-White knight:  DEATH (CLEAR, same as CHOICE #26)
-Black bishop:  DEATH (CLEAR, same as CHOICE #26)
 


CHOICE #29
-Tell truth about being stranded:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)
-Ask about experience:  Go to CHOICE #17 (CLEAR)

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Part 1


Fairytale Factory's smokestack darkens the skies once more.  There are new You Say Which Ways in 2020, and I can't let them pass into obscurity without heckling them on the Internet.  Kevin Berry wrote Secret Project instead of the usual suspect Blair Polly.  Don't expect high quality, as he's the Movie Mystery Madness author.  But Peter Friend of the good Deadline Delivery wrote the stinker Dungeon of Doom, so who knows?  Maybe Secret Project will be better than the previous Kevin Berry entry.



The campaign setting is London in 2085, ruled by a "Patron".  This reminds me of "El Patrón" from Nancy Farmer's The House of the Scorpion, master of a country between the U.S. and Mexico in a dystopian future. 


Although it's the future, it seems London has reverted to Victorian environmental and labor standards.  Other children in my dorm have to get ready for a "twelve-hour shift in one of the Patron's factories".  Everyone has to wear a "pollution protection mask" when going outside, lest they breathe "hazy smog".  Tenements are described in a way that makes me think of East Bloc housing.  "There are no plants or trees anywhere, not even grass".


"Medicbots" assist someone with a malfunctioning mask.  The robots check the patient's bank account with a "quick retinal scan", and give them a cheap mask because they couldn't afford the 1st one.  I watch "vid-feeds" during my commute, which sounds like a word only a science fiction writer from the past would say.  "Crud" that can be chewed after dipping in water is my breakfast.


Wait.  The Patron has robots, but insists on using inefficient and malnourished child labor.  They're just like those alien empires who kidnap life from other planets and make them bash rocks with pickaxes, even though they probably have the technology to get more ore from automation.


My guess as to what happened is that a mysterious figure known to 2085 people as the Milk Snatcher succeeded in privatizing everything, including the NHS and the UK Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs.  The Patron bought most of what the government was selling.  Health care was reconstructed on the American model.  Social customs from Victorian novels were revived and accepted uncritically for no apparent reason.  I probably thought more about the backstory while creating this "fanfic" than the author did.



Not all of 2085 London is grimy:  there are "shining modern streets" near the Testing Centre.  "Fifty students sit scrunched up over worksheets, with the only sounds being groans of frustration".  No vid-feeds allowed in this test!  It's a logic puzzle, which I won't discuss exhaustively.  There are 5 people with different nationalities, different houses, different pets, etc.  You're supposed to figure out who owns the fish.  But you have a 25% chance of getting the correct answer by guessing blindly, since the test tells you who owns the dog.  The test is a race, too, so why don't some of the students pick one at random and rush to the judge?


(Given the state of 2085 London, the Patron probably DOES hire people who guess on the test.)


A girl "solves" the puzzle at the same time that my character does and pushes me to the ground.  She's wrong anyway, so I think of my career prospects after winning the race.  "You'll make weird science that will make everyone's lives better".  This is the caliber of researcher the Patron works with.


Someone called the Blacksmith sneaks up on me "out of a deep shadow" His black beard and hair match his coat.  My "comms patch" normally tells me if other people are nearby, but the Blacksmith must have a high enough Hide in Shadows score to ignore it.  "You think the Patron wants to improve the world?  Help those less fortunate than him and the other Patrons around the globe?  None of them do.  For them, it's all about building empires and fortunes.  But if you work for me, you can help change all that".


The Blacksmith calls me the Puzzler.  He has a comms patch, but seemingly not one from the Patron's businesses.  "And that means. . .he's from the Dark Side of town".  Maybe it was the Star Wars zoning laws that turned London into a dystopia.


CHOICE #1 is whether to work for Dr. Melanie McKenzie on the "secret project" of the title, or to go to the Blacksmith's address and work for him.

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Part 2


Although the title says "Secret Project", working for the Blacksmith in CHOICE #1 seems like the best way to have an entertaining Death for a CANONICAL ENDING.


I take the subway, and find out that people in this neighborhood have "their own shops and their own businesses, free from the control-and the taxes-of the Patron".  The Patron must take inspiration from Third World dictators when it comes to economics.  Steal all that you can from a poor economy rather than a small percentage of a functional one.  The Patron has "social media staff" to spread propaganda about "lowtechs" being dangerous, but the existence of social media implies a world less run-down than 2085 London.  Social media depends on consumer economies (i.e. advertising), while people in London literally eat "crud" for breakfast.  Not destitute or homeless people, by the way:  the ones eating "crud" work for the Patron!


The Blacksmith plans his operations in a gym along with 2 boys and 2 girls.  I'm not allowed to sit in one particular chair because "that's Teena's".  Makes me wonder (out-of-character) if Teena is dead and they're keeping the chair empty in memory of her.  According to the other kids, the Blacksmith's goals are to "plant two trees for every one cut down" and "destroy the corrupt global financial system".  But it doesn't look like the economy is robust enough to support a global financial system, however corrupt.  Who is buying the products from the Patron's factories?


And add "forestry" to the list of ideas the Patron never thought of.


One boy suggests "go to the racing at Patron Ascot and inspire everyone with a fast forest", whatever that means.  A "blonde girl" tells me to "go up Patron Tower and reprogram the Patron's bots with an instruction to plant trees".  But do their robots even have the implements to do so?  Tiger wants to "kidnap the Patron and give him a taste of what the rest of us have to eat".  Well, they get juice at the Blacksmith's gym, so it's an improvement over crud.


CHOICE #2 is whether to go to Patron Ascot or Patron Tower.  Tiger's idea is unfortunately not an option.

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Part 3


Patron Ascot is the site of an annual competition of Patrons' "racebots".  "Millions of ordinary people will watch the livestream too".  If London is so poor it's comparable to "Oliver Twist with robots", what became of the rest of the world?  Are other countries doing fine enough that people can spend time watching livestreams instead of working 12 hour shifts?  Secret Project has what I'd call the Ready Player One Problem.  Ready Player One's U.S. has constant nuclear wars, and fast food jobs have years-long waiting lists, yet they can still afford to maintain a fully-immersive MMO and sell "smell-o-vision" peripherals for it.  In Secret Project, there aren't any trees, but poor kids still write on paper.



The Blacksmith is allied with the "League of Dark Scientists", who are probably friends with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.  He says he will stick seed bags to racebots so trees will "react with moisture and grow at a supernatural race".  My character naturally asks why they aren't used everywhere.  The Blacksmith explains that the seeds are prototypes, and wither as fast as they germinate.  "More work needs to be done to make the trees last longer, but we can use them to show the Patrons and the world the beauty of nature".


Please tell me the main character will shout "I wasn't aware this was a private forest!" in King's Quest 5 style when they find the one Patron who does grow trees.  Nobody appreciates "the beauty of nature" in the future?  Consider the amount of people who've gone on luxury camping trips in our time. . .


Imagine Seth's dialogue in a Valley Girl voice:  "We can go in the staff entrance, like, for free.  There's no way we could, like, pay the entry fee for visitors.  It's for, like, the top one percent of one percent".  Kevin Berry is aware of Seth's tic:  when he mentions that "animals used to race here a long time ago", the narrator says "there's sadness in his voice and he didn't say 'like' even once".


The Patrons didn't bother with security, as Seth and I get on racebots and begin the competition.  An announcer comments on the trees growing as if it were the real race.  Elms, oaks, cypresses, yews, ash, and poplars burst out of the ground and interrupt the racebots.  "Too close to call.  It's a photosynthesis finish!"  It wouldn't be a proper CYOA without bad puns.


CHOICE #3 is between following the Blacksmith's advice to escape while we can, or go to the temporary "fast forest".  As much as I make fun of the book, I like the concept of the "fast forest" at least.  That's at least different from the dystopian cliches.


Judging by the tone of the narration, gawking at the trees sounds like the suicidal option, so I'll pick that.  The CANONICAL ENDING that results is not as bleak as I'd hoped.  I "gasp in astonishment" as I see blue sky and breathe in fresh air for the first time.  One Patron appears and plans on making their scientists make a fast forest of their own.  Another Patron says "I heard it was like this in the old days, before the land was cleared for our factories.  This is called 'nature'.  I never imagined it would be so beautiful".


2085 isn't THAT far away.  Think about how much interest people take in World War II today.  And this society still has a similar Internet to what we have now.  Wouldn't some Patrons look up old YouTube recordings of nature walks or something?


Anyway, guards grab Seth and me and growl "It's the crud factories for you, kid".  We spend a shift at the crud factory's vats.  Crud is made of "powdered ingredients" and "water", and has a filling that's "a globby, grey liquid like lumpy custard".  Child laborers in the crud factories do get 2 hours of free time, however.  Nobody is called by their name.  Seth seems to disappear the next morning.  An apple seems to teleport in as "the air next to you shimmers".


"On the floor underneath where the apple appeared is a folded piece of paper.  You open it and read the message: 'You will be rescued in ten minutes.  Be ready.  Teena.'  Hope surges through you.  You look around furtively for the overseer, but she's at the other end of the factory at present.  Rescue!  A way out of here at last.


'What's that you got?' the girl nearest you says.  'Nothing'.  You throw the note into the vat, where it disappears in a swirl of grey sludgy crud.  You feel guilty that the other kids will remain.  Maybe your rescuers can help get them out too, later.  You keep stirring the crud mixture.


The air beside you shimmers, but you don't see anything.  A sudden tug on your sleeve pulls you off balance, and you take a step sideways.  Moments later, everything blurs.  What's happening?  When everything clears, you find you're in the Blacksmith's headquarters.  He's there, along with a woman with red hair and a white coat, a blue-haired girl, and a water bottle floating in mid-air, the water tipping out and disappearing.  You stare open-mouthed at that.  You still have the pole you were stirring with.  Gloops of crud mixture drip onto the floor.


The bottle plonks down on a table.  'Hi, I'm Teena', comes a voice.  'I rescued you'.  'Welcome back, Puzzler', the Blacksmith says.  'It took us a while to find you'.  'Seth didn't make it', you say.


'Yes, I did', Seth says, entering the room with some warm food for you.  'But I was afraid something had happened to you'.  He took a bite of some crunchy crud and sucks out the gooey center.  The Blacksmith smiles.  'We have plans to rescue all the other kids there, and more.  Meet Dr. McKenzie and her daughter Kathy.  Teena used their teleportation technology to rescue you.'  'Thank you', you say, and faint".


Teena of the empty chair is the real hero of the story and should be the player character.  Teleportation is possible in this setting, but they can't think of a better economic model than child slave labor.  I won't quote all the epilogue text, but some of it is strange enough to be worth mentioning.  Seth and I planted the fast forest to "highlight the need for climate change", instead of our previously established motive of making people appreciate nature.


This was a Good Ending that should have been a Bad Non-Death Ending if not for the deus ex machina.  Deadline Delivery was another future dystopia You Say Which Way that had consequences for failure:  the player character can wind up a slave to the Avocado Corporation.


Results So Far


1 Good Endings

0 Deaths

0 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Alternate Endings Part 1


Where we last left off, our generic CYOA protagonist marveled at the fast forest, became a crud factory slave, and was rescued by Teena's teleportation.  Let's alter the timeline and find out what happens when I take the sensible option and flee from the racebot track in CHOICE #3.


"You glance back often, still amazed by the trees you longed to see and touch-but not this time.  And, now, the trees are already begin to wilt and wither".  The timeline doesn't sound right:  the fast forest didn't wilt in the CANONICAL ENDING.  How long have they been running?  It's implied that they haven't gone far.


Guards subdue Seth and me, but Seth instantly disappears.  Teena whispers "Drink this, quickly!" and I do so while the guards aren't looking.  Teena is strong enough to pull both Seth and me along while running invisibly.  Seth fades in and out of vision at the Blacksmith's gym, because he had a smaller dose of the invisibility potion than Tina and I.  Doesn't make much sense, considering Seth's been with me throughout the mission.  Teena eats a sandwich while invisible.  "That almost puts you off your lunch, but you are hungry now that your stomach is used to being invisible, and you wolf it down".  Is my character queasy if they eat with their eyes closed, too?


Dr. Melanie McKenzie is a mole working for the Blacksmith, but the Patron wants to ensure her loyalty by holding her daughter Kathy hostage until the "secret project" is complete.  Our next mission is to smuggle Kathy and Dr. McKenzie out of Patron Tower.  They've conveniently given us the codes to the doors and elevators. 


By Floor 57 of Patron Tower, the air looks clearer outside the windows.  You Say Which Way's gender-neutral policy slips when Teena introduces me thus:  "His name's Puzzler.  He just joined us".  Teena tells Dr. McKenzie what will happen to Kathy, and it's revealed that the "secret project" is teleportation.  Teena disables our comms patches, but a security warning comes from a tablet:  "You have ten minutes before guardbots will be dispatched.  All exits to the building are now sealed".


Teleportation time depends on weight, but two can warp out at the same time as the heavier one.  Teena must be skinny since she has 1 minute, the Puzzler needs 2.  Dr. McKenzie requires 5 minutes, while Kathy must be the "fat" one as she needs 10 minutes.  "Hey!  I'm not overweight, you know.  I just have heavy circuitry".


People can be "partly teleported" if interrupted, with the gruesome results that the phrase implies.  I only have 18-20 minutes to get everyone back to the Blacksmith's base.  Option A for CHOICE #4 is to send Kathy and Dr. McKenzie first while the lighter characters hide.  Option B must be the correct one, since it's "get puzzling to find the solution in time".  This isn't an Ultimate Ending book, and we're in the Alternate Endings segment, so you won't get to watch me fail a puzzle intended for young children.


Option A is incorrect as I predicted.


"You rack your brains.  You know there's a solution, but it's not coming to you.  Everyone watches you intently; at least, Dr. McKenzie and Kathy do.  You can't see what Teena's looking at.  'Hurry up', Teena says. 'We'll run out of time.  You said you could figure it out.'  'Kathy, can you do it?' Dr. McKenzie asked (sic).


Kathy shook her head.  'That kind of computation isn't in my programming'.  Minutes pass.  You're no closer to an answer.  There's only one thing to do now.  'It's no use.  We're out of time.  Dr. McKenzie, you and Kathy teleport out.  Don't come back for us'.  'What will you do?'  the scientist asks.  'We'll hide somewhere', you say.


Dr. McKenzie and Kathy hesitantly agree, and step on the teleportation mat.  They activate it and eventually fade out of view, teleported to safety.  'Let's hide', Teena says.  She looks around for somewhere suitable.  There's not really anywhere.  'Okay, under that workbench',  she says.  'Pull the chairs in close.  Maybe the guardbots won't find us'.


You squeeze in beside her.  From your vantage point, the bottom part of the lab door is visible.  Less than two minutes later, it opens.  Two guardbots roll inside, their wheels squeaking on the floor.  You think about making a dash for it, but one of them waits by the entrance while the other circles the room.  You're trapped.


The searching guardbot moves behind the workbench under which you and Teena are hiding.  You daren't move in case it detects the shift in the air or senses your presence somehow.  You're even holding your breath.  A metallic hand grabs your shoulder, hard.  Another seizes Teena.  The guardbot's head appears between you, looking side to side.  'You're not the humans we're looking for', it says, 'but you're coming with us".


I thought the ending was a cheat until I reread CHOICE #4 and learned that someone has to teleport back to Patron Tower to pick up the others.  The epilogue text says Kathy and Dr. McKenzie safely teleported to the Blacksmith's gym, but Teena and the Puzzler are enslaved in the crud factories.  But who rescues Dr. McKenzie in the CANONICAL ENDING if the Puzzler doesn't?





Results So Far


1 Good Endings

0 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Alternate Endings Part 2


CHOICE #4 is worse than I thought.  "Get puzzling to find the solution on time" does NOT involve any thought on the player's part.  It takes you directly to a Good Ending.  I'm reminded of the retroactive life preserver CHOICE of La Isla de los Dodos.  At least in a Dave Morris book you'd have to pass a LORE check or something.


"You think hard.  Everyone's counting on you to work out how you can all escape.  If you don't, at least one of you will be caught.  The pressure is intense.  But, you remind yourself, you've done this before.  The Trial involved incredible pressure, as there could be only one winner. . .and you managed it.  This is no different.  You take a deep breath.  Think.  Think. . .


The solution comes to you.  You've taken a minute.  It'll take another minute to explain.  You'll have eighteen minutes left before the guardbots arrive-just enough time.  'This is what we have to do', you say.  'Teena and I will teleport first.  It's two minutes for me and one for Teena, so we can both teleport in two minutes, the slowest time, right?'  Dr. McKenzie nods. 


'Then Teena will teleport back.  That's another minute.  After that, Dr. McKenzie and Kathy will go.  That's the slowest time-ten minutes'.  'But then what?'  Teena says.  'I'll be stuck back here.  Is there still time?'


'Then I'll come back for you.  That'll take me two minutes.  Then, finally, you and I teleport out, another two minutes. . .and we've all made it'.  'How long is that?' Teena asks.  'Seventeen minutes', Kathy says.  'Just enough time'.  'Well done, Puzzler', Dr. McKenzie says.  'You've got the solution and saved us all'.


How long did the conversation take?  They must have wasted a couple of minutes. 


Anyway, the epilogue text says that Dr. McKenzie and the Blacksmith use teleportation technology to "get food to the lowtech masses, and, eventually, counteract the Patron's tyranny".  Because the Patron didn't have the foresight to open a discount grocery chain, I guess.



Results So Far


2 Good Endings

0 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings

[Herman Gigglethorpe]

You Say Which Way:  Secret Project Alternate Endings Part 3


All Patron Ascot paths have been accounted for, so let's rewind to CHOICE #2 and take the other option.  "You decide to team up with the blonde girl, Samantha, to take an oversize QR Code canvas into Patron Tower and hang it where the Patron's bots will see it.  It will reprogram them to plant trees and crops".


Good to know that in spite of air pollution and increasing social stratification making the world unrecognizable, they're still using QR Codes 65 years in the future.  The Puzzler asks how we're going to reprogram the robots if the guards will spot and remove the QR Code canvas, and Samantha responds that the main computer will do it all at once if the canvas is placed there.


CHOICE #5 is between climbing 120 stories on the outside of Patron Tower, or to sneak inside with the help of a "nearby vehicle".  The Puzzler isn't Spider-Man, and he's probably malnourished from eating all that crud, so let's watch him fall to his Death!



"Samantha looks up and down the street.  You're around the corner of the building, near the wotbots' entrance".  I've no more idea as to what a "wotbot" is than my readers right now. 


Samanatha takes "what look like rubber shoes and gloves" out of a bag.  "Keep at least three points of contact on the wall at all times', she warns.  'Move slowly.  Release, move, reattach".  We're on the 60th story.  This was predictably a bad idea:  "After ten minutes, your arms and knees ache with the strain of supporting your weight while clinging to the vertical surface.  Five minutes more, and your muscles are screaming in pain".


The batteries in Samantha's gloves ran out.  She talks about forgetting to change them, so rechargeable batteries must be less common in 2085.  She gives me the QR Code canvas and uses a paraglider to descend to the street.  The Puzzler wonders if Samantha also forgot to change the batteries for his gloves. 


CHOICE #6 is whether to glide away from the wall, or to continue climbing the tower.  The narration adds tension by saying "But if she's forgetful, will your parachute be okay?  Do you even have one?"  Then again, the other possibility is that she forgot to change my batteries.  Could this be an R.A. Montgomery scenario where both options in a CHOICE lead to Death (e.g. Lost Jewels of Nabooti)?  I doubt You Say Which Way has the guts to pull that off.  Let's keep climbing.



"Birdbots" approach me and say "Return to the ground and you won't be harmed" in a "mid-western accent".  Kevin Berry is from New Zealand and the book is set in England.  Do either those countries have a region called "Midwest", or am I supposed to understand the birdbots' accent as Minnesotan in spite of the lack of any other reference to America? 


One birdbot pecks my backpack, and I smack both robots together until they fall down.  A woman flying an "aircar" orders me to jump into her net below, but I keep climbing.  A "goon with a wooden pole" must think he's playing Baldur's Gate with a Quarterstaff proficiency instead of a future dystopian adventure.  All those robots, and then the Patron sends a guy with a wooden pole to stop me. 


Instead of jumping into the net, I land on the aircar and attach the QR Code canvas to it, resulting in this Good Ending:


"But something's happening down there that keeps your attention.  Shopbots and errandbots turn their gaze skyward.  When they see the QR Code canvas, they stop whatever they were doing and march off.  Hundreds of them.  The security aircar descends further, and you get a better view.  Podcars have lined up outside a depot.  The shopbots and errandbots get inside the podcars after leaving the depot carrying laden bags.  The podcars drive off in all directions.  What's going on?


A small aircar approaches from the side on an intercept course, then changes directions to pace itself with the aircar you're clinging to.  Its roof rolls back, and the Blacksmith waves at you.  Does he want you to jump?  It's about eight feet.  You can do it.  You let go, dropping into the passenger seat of the Blacksmith's aircar.  He grins and banks away.  Seconds later, you've left the other aircar behind, trailing the QR Code canvas over the city, as its crew are unaware of your rescue.


Your arms ache from holding on.  'Is Samantha safe?' you ask breathlessly.  'Yes, she is.  Well done, Puzzler'.  'But we didn't get into Patron Tower at all'.  The Blacksmith laughs, rocking the aircar slightly.  'I didn't realize the QR Code would work from such a distance.  All those bots on the street saw it and were reprogrammed.  They're taking fruit and seeds from the Patron's food simulation depots to plant anywhere they can find space'.



'Wow.  So, the mission succeeded after all in a different way.  But won't the Patron's techs reprogram the bots back to their original tasks?'  'Probably, but by then all the planting will be done.  It might take months and years, but there'll be crops and trees everywhere, thanks to you".


Now I'm wondering what "food simulation depots" are.  The Patron still has no idea what "agribusiness" is, even though he'd probably make more money from farming than from crud factories.  The epilogue text confirms that crops and trees grew to clean the air and feed the "lowtech".  You know this is an easy book to win when taking suicidal options leads to a Good Ending.


Results So Far


3 Good Endings

0 Deaths

1 Bad Non-Death Endings

0 Neutral Endings

0 Inconclusive Endings