[PB74 SPOILERS] Magic Science and A Snowball's Chance in Pitboss 74

[Magic Science]

PBSPY suggests Donovan Zoi has fucking betrayed me over my refusal to commit suicide with him. Excuse me for figuring that attacking Atlantis would have achieved nothing but get our entire combined defensive anti-Knight army killed. Didn't you see what just happened to GKC? I tried to reason with you about it in advance, and your entire army survived unharmed. Your buffer city, the one I cleared the space for, survived too, in part because I put MY UNITS IN YOUR TERRITORY TO DEFEND IT!

This after multiple echoed Fish and Horse and 100 gold for Fish and Horse and 100 gold "defensive alliance until death do us part" deals, which has been working out excellently for both of us so far! This after I turned down multiple Peace Treaties from Gin-guelito, because accepting would have been selling you out!

There is still a slim hope that this is not quite what it seems. NOPE! As I write this I see -25 points for me in PBSPY. That can't just be Sikasso or Kati, the newly reclaimed buffer cities, which are not that important. Violent border adjustment there would be baffling, but if he left me army alone it would be survivable and perhaps forgivable. I actually contemplate doing something similar with his city on the Iron by Segou. I have a Greed quest for the Iron, so I actually thinking capturing the city would be a net gain for Donovan Zoi and I. He would have lost 1 Archer, some pop, and some infrastructure (I would give the city back of course), and I would have gained a bunch of Knights (never looked up how many). Those Knights would then have been used for our combined defense. But I doubt DZ even knots about that quest, and it would been fatal to our trust. In a full diplo world I think we could have arranged it long ago. Even in this world I thought about at least asking for it, but again, he probably doesn't remember the quest, so it would just confuse and anger him.

I am on a tangent. -25 points must be Segou, my new Bureaucracy capital. By far the biggest and most important city left in my republic. Site of our small continents greatest victory against the Apocalyptic hordes, achieved on my own. If he is willing to go that far, then my army, positioned in the south completely without regard for safety against Donovan Zoi, must be dead as well. Some of my units were STILL IN BIKINI ATOLL to make sure it was safe until Donovan Zoi's units made it back from their idiotic start towards Atlantis.

THIS CANNOT BE FORGIVEN, NOW OR EVER. 
DONOVAN ZOI, YOU ARE AN OATH-BREAKER OF THE VERY WORSE SORT. MAY YOUR HOUSE DECAY, MAY WISDOM EVER EDLUDE YOU, AND MAY THE INERADICABLE FLEAS OF STOLEN COWS OCCUPY YOUR ASS HAIR.
IF WE EVER MEET AGAIN, IN ANOTHER TIME, IN THE LEGENDS OF ANOTHER RACE, I WILL KILL YOU AT ANY COST TO MYSELF, AND THEN OF YOUR GRIMLY GRINNING SEVERED HEAD I WILL MAKE ANOTHER MOON IN THE SKY AS A GLOBAL MOCKERY OF YOUR GROTESQUE FORM AND A WARNING AGAINST ALL OATH-BREAKERS.
FUCK YOU.

More seriously, I am very angry about this.

I have not been reporting this good game (obviously), which I now have even more cause to regret. If I had been reporting this game properly, or even if I had just reported the last few war turns properly, then Donovan Zoi's reputation would be certain to suffer for this appropriately. If I had been weaving a tale of my turn-by-turn perspective in this thread as I usually do, and you were all attentive and invested, this betrayal would already be understood to be the True AI Diplo equivalent of Mjmd's infamous NAP-stab against Scotter in Pitboss 70. About that bad!

In our era of True AI Diplo, Fish and Horse for Fish and Horse repeated multiple times is completely unambiguous! Recently! And not just words, but deeds too! I burned Deluge through the Traitor's culture, and then he took the opportunity to settle a buffer city. I knocked down the walls of Kati from within his territory, and then he (maybe, I don't know how many units Gin-guelito left), weakened the defenders, and then I reclaimed Kati! Incredible! And I turned down multiple offers of binding white Peace Treaties from Gin-guelito, at significant cost to myself (I WANT TO TASTE SEAFOOD AGAIN, AND MY ISLAND HAS IRON DEFICIENCY. I could really use some guaranteed time for medium-term development. And I am pretty sure my actual real life may end my Commodore's hand if this turn split continues long enough that I have to ask for an extension again! Danger!)! And I put my units not just in range of your city, but physically in your city to keep it safe! All these turns I have completely disregarded the safety of my cities and units vs you, to instead favor positioning my army to best be able to assist in attacking Gin-guelito's units should they enter your territory! Did you ever think I was less than 100% sincere?

All of this thrown away because I refused to commit suicide with you? My mistake, I didn't understand the new convention that "Fish and Horse for Fish and Horse" is "suicide pact". Sorry! Fuck you. Again, did you not see what just happened to GKC? We have scraped together enough combined power to survive a while longer, not attack.
Things were going so relatively well. Gin-guelito pushed back. I was going to live long enough to reach Gunpowder, maybe even Astronomy. Great Merchant mission was planned, I actually had the time to settle New Bamako. Is that why you turned on me? You saw my medium-term investments and decided I could not be relied upon? That was only 5 turns! Last turn was when Segou turned back to 1-turning assorted units again! We had the time!

FUCK DONOVAN ZOI, OATH-BREAKER. MAY THE VENOM OF SNAKES DRIP IN YOUR EYES AS YOU STAND BOUND BY THE GUTS OF YOUR SON IN A MISERABLE CAVE. MAY YOUR AGONIZED SHUDDERS BE SO FRENZIED THEY BECOME KNOWN AS THE SOURCE OF ALL EARTHQUAKES.

I actually feel a lot better after writing all that. . Any questions?
(and today is the day of my Mechanics test too, great. I will have less than an hour to play in the library at lunch. )

[Magic Science]

101

This was an aspirational response to Mjmd's request for Turn 100 reports from everyone. It was me saying "I will do it on T101". Obviously that did not happen.

I am well past when a comprehensive catch-up report would be possible, but there are some interesting anecdotes from the pre-Apocalypse phase of the game that might still be worth mentioning. Did anyone report the Flight of the Workers that took place after the razing of Kalabancoro long ago? .

A comprehensive catch-up report since the start of this war with Gin-guelito might be possible and worthwhile, but no promises.

[Magic Science]

I see now I did not explicitly mention this. With Segou certainly gone, my army probably gone, and facing an attack from the Traitor, who has routes directly into my backlines, I am almost certainly dead with 10 turns at most. DEATH!
Wait, no, I still have the island. A little while longer then! Great! . Maybe I can actually reach still Gunpower with the gold I have stored.
I wish I had never heard the name "Donovan Zoi". I would have been better off on my own. Kati and Sikasso were seriously never that important. That buffer area not being worth my entire army was core to my thinking, and now indeed naive cooperation with the Traitor has (temporarily) regained me that buffer, but at the cost of my entire army. I should have let the victors of Segou stay in Segou in triumph.

[Mjmd]

I do remember wondering about those random workers that made their way west. Did they ever make it back?

I do commend you on your verbose denunciation of DZ. The lurkers have obviously not heard either side of that story for many a turn.

[Magic Science]

For the record:

Currently the turn-split situation is like this:

Pindicator --> GKC
Miguelito --> GKC

Miguelito --> Donovan Zoi, cursed be his name
Donovan Zoi (cbhn) --> metal aka Hubabl

I have been at peace with Miguelito and Donovan Zoi (cbhn) for the last ten turns, but that could change in the future, starting... RIGHT NOW!
I should probably play after both of them in the case that we go to war again. If I am left with little time and have to play in a rush or even miss my turn entirely, it would not be as big of a deal as it would be for them. Also, if I play before Miguelito, that would be a 4-part turn-split. If I played before Donovan Zoi, that could become a 4-part turn-split in the rather likely event that Miguelito then fought me too.

Unfortunately, I thoughtlessly screwed up last turn, Turn 179, the last turn of binding peace, by playing before Donovan Zoi (cbhn). So if he wanted to attack me as soon as possible, he would be forced to play after me. And I thought I might attack, and so should play after him as I said, if he failed to reinforce my once-and-future cities, which left me playing a clock waiting game to get the position in the turn-split that would be best for the turn pace. We might have ended up waiting on each other.
Luckily, Donovan Zoi (cnhn) played his turn before I had to wait too long. I guess he wasn't planning to attack me again right away after all. Or possibly he forgot that Turn 180 was when we could fight again and that is why my once-and-future cities are completely undefended. .

To unbury the lede, yes I did declare on Donovan Zoi (cbhn for however long I keep up this gimmick) on Turn 180 after he played his turn.
Donovan Zoi (cbhn) --> Magic Science
This puts me behind Miguelito too in a 3-part turn-split, but metal was already in that position so it's not any worse than before. Also Migueltio just this turn captured occupied Kati (now technically named some other stupid name) through my territory, so maybe it is best that we have a turn-split with each other already anyway.

I am posting all this because it should be in text somewhere lurkers can read, and maybe no one else has explained yet. Also to say I am sorry for almost causing a horrible headache of a 4-part turn split by not thinking about in what order I played on the eve of the expiration of binding peace, and then playing a waiting game to make up for it.

[Magic Science]

I do remember wondering about those random workers that made their way west. Did they ever make it back?

.

Yes, the Workers did make it back. It was vital to my recovery at the time that they survived.
The Workers were of course chased west by the threat of Egyptian War Chariots, but metal and Donovan Zoi (cbhn) had units over there that would have loved to capture my Workers. I recall that Miguelito offered a Peace Treaty just one turn before my Workers would have been forced too far west and had no choice but to end their move adjacent to one foreign military unit or another. But then the Peace Treaty happened and the Workers could run back east near the Apocalyptic units. It was still a nail-biter though. Donovan Zoi (cbhn) and metal pursued a little bit, and there could have been a Barbarian.
The irony is that there was a Scout with them, and the vision he provided was vital to their survival. But if I had been thinking properly I would have used that Scout to see what Miguelito was doing earlier, which would have given me warning of his attack and possibly saved Old Kalabancoro and prevented the whole Worker Odyssey from happening in the first place. 
That is not hindsight nonsense, by the way. That Scout uselessly stood adjacent to Old Kalabancoro for a few turns specifically because I didn't know what to do with him, and I kept thinking to myself "I'll decide next turn, no harm in waiting". And I knew Miguelito might attack the city. He is Egypt! And it was a stretch towards him! That is why I waited until I was ready with a Skirmisher and a road to the place. I am still a bit surprised he thought it was worth training 4 War Chariots to raze, though. Not that it should have taken him that many. My Skirmisher was very lucky.
Anyway, believe it or not, I even had a plan to station a Spear on the roads between Old Kalabancoro and Sikasso. It just never quite happened.
A real embarrassment that this has happened to me yet again. .

[Magic Science]

   

This is why I have declared war on Donovan Zoi (cbhn). Koutiala and Kayes have been completely undefended for the past few turns. Not unreasonable since we have a binding peace treaty and he is very busy far in the south. But then the expiration date for the Peace Treaty crept closer, and still they were empty. And then last turn, Expiration Eve (everyone's favorite holiday), they were still empty! And this very turn, they were still empty, so of course I went for it. It's a matter of honor, you understand. And I might be able to squeeze some more units from these cities.
It did not occur to me until this turn that Kayes is actually 4 tiles from Mopti, not 3, so I could not capture it on the first turn of war. . Possibly it was stupid not to put a unit on the tundra hill 1SW of Mopti, but that might have caused Donovan Zoi (cbhn) to remember the threat and react. Again, I was not thinking about that anyway, though.
Kayes will still fall next turn unless there are Incan reinforcements. Maybe even despite Incan reinforcements depending on their strength and my bellicosity. And the recapture of Kayes and the restoration of its culture will let the selected units on that grassland reach Segou (Miyake-Jima) too. That Segou (Miyake-Jima) and Matanza (not actually one of my cities, merely settled on my stacked smoking ruins) are also empty gives me hope. .


   
I also have two Macemen, just recently upgraded from age-old island Axemen, that have disembarked by Matanza. I am optimistic about their new fate.
Last turn when they boarded the Nameless Galley, I thought it was more likely they would disembark in Sikasso and help recapture Kati (Maceio). Donovan Zoi (cbhn) only had 1 Musketman and 2 Spearmen defending it, so it was certainly possible. Also, the log tells me there was a revolt this turn too, so that helps. My people are so loyal. It brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye.
But as you can see, Miguelito captured it instead, and besides the political ramifications he has a Guerilla II Rifleman defending the place. And our Peace Treaty doesn't expire until next turn.
So off to menace Matanza the Macemen marched (metaphorically) instead.


The island. Not properly named because I am not that invested. But at least the default names are actually on purpose. I liked the small contrast in naming theme between mainland and island cities. I did something like that in Pitboss 69 too, except it was main cities versus late fillers there.

I have little idea how long the island cities will survive, and managing them through that uncertainty has been difficult. The Peace Treaty helped, which is why I was willing to pay what I sincerely hope was an insultingly low sum of gold to get it, and now the island cities have Musketmen. In a fit of optimism, I am finally researching Theology for Theocracy. It should have been done way back during my stupidly belated Golden Age when Miguelito attacked with Knights, but my mind wasn't working properly back then and I screwed up the timing. But now I think I can do it. There is little other use for the commerce, and I think in this state spending 1 turn of output (for the revolt) plus 40 hammers (for a Christian Missionary for Djenne) are likely enough to be worth it.

The island was blockaded for a long time. Long enough that Timbuktu's 69/60 Pikeman began to decay (no Iron). But then some Big Continentals discovered Astronomy, and there was one diagonal passage into the deep ocean that Miguelito neglected to blockade, so I could get  free resources there again. And then the Palace moved to Djenne after Segou was lost, which created a whole new weird resource situation. The remaining mainland cities had their own resource network for a turn or three. The mainland cities benefitted from the mainland resources but I could not trade them and the island did not benefit from them.
This was all a lot more entertaining than it was frustrating, but it was another source of uncertainty to work around.


Rambling done for now. Let's pray that I can recapture three more cities of mine next turn! All is in accordance with God's plan! .

[Mjmd]

Ya scout screens early are important. Anything else you would have done differently? Order settling citeis ect?

[Magic Science]

Welcome to Turn 190. Donovan Zoi, cursed be his name, lost 4 points at the turn roll. I hope this means his city of Matanza revolted to join my civilization. That would be heartwarming, and it is possible.

[Magic Science]

Yes, Matanza revolted to join the great Republic of Mali. Joyous. Gaining a human opponent’s city by cultural revolt is definitely a thing to be remembered. Then DZ, cbhn, was eliminated, and GKC was too. This leaves me as the last of the Free Players of Smaller Righter Earth, as is appropriate according to God’s plan. And a double elimination too, fun to witness. The thing is, this means I was actually so close to eliminating DZ, cbhn, with that revolt! If it had been delayed just two turns… I will take what I can get but that would have been incredible.

I think I will write some kind of report when I get home from work today tomorrow. Feeling good! .