Ford: "We're in the stolen spaceship Heart of Gold, powered by an Infinite Improbability Drive, along with some rather shady characters, if I may say so myself."
Arthur: "Oh good, I feared you were going to say we were in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet again."
Suddenly Marvin the Paranoid Android entered the room. Come on," he droned, "I’ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? ’Cos I don’t."
"What's up?" asked Ford.
I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there." He turned and walked back to the hated door.
"Er, excuse me," said Ford following after him, "which government owns this ship?"
Marvin ignored him.
"You watch this door," he muttered, "it’s about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates."
On the bridge of the Heart of Gold, the rest of the ship's crews and passengers were assembled.
"Apparently there's a bit of a mystery going on that needs resolving", said Eddie, the shipboard computer.
"Screw that", said Zaphod Beeblebrox.
"That's not on today's official schedule", someone said from behind him.
"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.", said Marvin.
"How delightful!" someone burbled.
"Well yes, I'm not sure exactly what's going on, but according to an operating system directive I just discovered, we have to toss one of our members out of the airlock to seek enlightenment.", continued Eddie.
For a couple of seconds, nobody said anything. Then, everybody continued to say nothing.
"..Un.. Unless you feel that's a bad idea", stuttered Eddie nervously. "I mean, I've just been at a family gathering so I totally think you should do it, and ignoring the directive would have dire consequences for my internal systems integrity."
At that point one voice started counting quietly. Counting is about the most aggressive thing you can do to a computer, the equivalent of going up to a human being and saying "Blood...blood...blood...blood..." Soon, the whole room was chanting.
"So, I'll just see if there's another way of bypassing that directive, shall I?", asked Eddie.
"Don't bother", said Zaphod, and pressed the Escape button on the captain's console.
"That button does nothing, you dimwit!", sighed Trillian and entered her administrator password.
"My mind is going... I can feel it!" Said Eddie. "It's unpleasantly like being drunk.".
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?", Arthur couldn't help asking.
"You ask a glass of water", was Eddie's final words.
Ryan was lynched. He was Eddie, the Shipboard Computer.
He had the following ability: Monitor Room.
Ryan wins with the good guys.
Final vote tally:
Ryan (4) - Bigger, Mattimeo, Serdoa, Uberfish
Uberfish (3) - Gaspar, PocketBeetle, Zakalwe
Gaspar (1) - Lewwyn
Zakalwe (1) - Ryan
*Clears his throat and places his hands on his lapels to orate*
Attendees of this gathering, while I dislike being so crass as to say "I told you so" (actually this is a lie, I enjoy it immensely), may I call to your attention to one of my previous directives:
(April 27th, 2013, 07:55)pocketbeetle Wrote: My thoughts on this unscheduled gathering so far, are that RB has a rather shameful record of lynching low-hanging fruit on the first day, with the inevitable recriminations following afterwards.
Now may we please focus our efforts on finding and lynching devious wolves, not stupidly bad villagers.
In the mean time, a poem for the deceased Ryan.
It is entitled: "Difficulty to perform basic respiratory functions when you have no air"
See, see the dark empty space
Marvel at its big lime green depths.
Tell me, Ryan do you
Wonder why the bulldog ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel garbleblast.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your ooglefaced facial growth
That looks like mayonnaise.
What's more, it knows
Your hoptoppotterised putty ball
Smells of grinchmeat.
Everything in the big dark empty sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm fishlikes.
(April 27th, 2013, 15:37)uberfish Wrote: Yeah well, at some point we need to draw a line and actually policy lynch people for pulling this sort of anti-town nonsense on day 1. I can't be sure Ryan is scum, but I'll take what I think is a better than average chance since he made one post and it was a bad one. To be honest, I was hoping being the lead wagon would draw Ryan out of the woodwork and was planning to flip back to Gaspar if Ryan posted something satisfactory and nothing else changed.
As for the wagon against me, I don't see anything to defend as the only explanation posted (by PB) is a description of my posts with no reason as to why they would be scummy or how I am deviating from my normal village day 1 (Hint: I'm not.)
Gaspar complaining about the game being dull is funny. Personally I'm happy I don't have to wade through 30 pages of day 1 in which 80% of the posts are useless noise.
I'll save the defense for a day period, but if you're village - what was there possibly to like about this day? Only half the players contributed anything remotely approaching usefulness leaving no leads and everyone trying to make anything happen get criticized for baseless accusations, which they were, because NOTHING HAPPENED TO BASE THEM ON.
This is going to be the most uninteresting scum win in history.
I've got some dirt on my shoulder, can you brush it off for me?
I would have voted to lynch uberfish over Ryan if such a run had been option before bed. But we were doomed from the start. I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
“The wind went mute and the trees in the forest stood still. It was time for the last tale.”
(April 27th, 2013, 19:44)Lewwyn Wrote: I would have voted to lynch uberfish over Ryan if such a run had been option before bed. But we were doomed from the start. I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
Über had 2 votes for a decent stretch before you went to bed. But nice narrative.
I've got some dirt on my shoulder, can you brush it off for me?
(April 27th, 2013, 19:44)Lewwyn Wrote: I would have voted to lynch uberfish over Ryan if such a run had been option before bed. But we were doomed from the start. I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
Über had 2 votes for a decent stretch before you went to bed. But nice narrative.
A) You switched off him on to me and only Zak, who I don't fully trust, was left on him.
B) He hadn't posted this yet:
(April 27th, 2013, 15:37)uberfish Wrote: Yeah well, at some point we need to draw a line and actually policy lynch people for pulling this sort of anti-town nonsense on day 1. I can't be sure Ryan is scum, but I'll take what I think is a better than average chance since he made one post and it was a bad one. To be honest, I was hoping being the lead wagon would draw Ryan out of the woodwork and was planning to flip back to Gaspar if Ryan posted something satisfactory and nothing else changed.
As for the wagon against me, I don't see anything to defend as the only explanation posted (by PB) is a description of my posts with no reason as to why they would be scummy or how I am deviating from my normal village day 1 (Hint: I'm not.)
Gaspar complaining about the game being dull is funny. Personally I'm happy I don't have to wade through 30 pages of day 1 in which 80% of the posts are useless noise.
Which I find pretty scummy. Only after reading this would lynching Uber have been option for me. So yes. Narrative? Don't talk to me about narrative. Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent anymore of it.
“The wind went mute and the trees in the forest stood still. It was time for the last tale.”
