[SPOILERS - PBEM17] Kyan Does Dallas. The Orange Sensation.

[Kyan]

Yawn. filler post.

# "Baldric, go forth into the streets and announce that Lord Blackadder wishes to sell his house. Percy, just go forth into the streets."
- EB, "Money", BA2
# "So you don't know the way to France either - bugger."
- EB, "Potato", BA2, to Captain Redbeard Rum
# "My Lord, I have a cunning plan."
- Baldric, several times, BA3 / BA4
# "I think I'll write my tombstone - Here lies Edmund Blackadder, and he's bloody annoyed."
- EB, BA4
# G: "If we do happen to step on a mine, Sir, what do we do ?"
EB: "Normal procedure, Lieutenant, is to jump 200 feet in the air and scatter oneself over a wide area."
- somewhere in No Man's Land, BA4
# EB: "You don't look like Charlie Chaplin, Baldric. You don't have a moustache."
B: "No, Sir. But I have this - a dead slug."
- BA4
# EB: "What is your name, boy ?"
Boy: "Kate."
EB: "Kate, that's an unusual name for a boy."
Boy: "It's short for ... Bob."
- Kate, trying to pass as a boy, BA2
# "Don't worry, you'll get over her. I did, and so did Baldric."
- EB to Percy, when he discovers a new love, BA2
# "I think the phrase rhymes with Clucking Bell!"
- EB, after finding out he's going 'over the top', BA4
# "I made a note in my diary on the way over here. It simply reads - bugger."
- Capt Darling, after being sent to the trench to go over the top, BA4.
# LF: "You should treat your aircraft like you treat your woman."
BA: "So you should take your plane out to dinner and a movie?"
LF: "No, get in her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back!"
- LF, teaching the 20 minuters, BA4
# "That would be as hard as finding a piece of hay in an incredibly large stack of needles."
- EB
# G: "What is your name?"
EB: "Wibble."
G: "What is 2 plus 2?"
EB: "Wibble, Wibble."
- EB, trying to prove he is mad, in his bunker, with underpants on his head and a pendil up each nostril, BA4
# "I'm as excited as a terribly excited person who has a really good reason for being terribly excited."
- G, after being asked by Gen. Melchett how he feels about going over the top, BA4.
# B: "I want my mother."
EB: "Ah, yes. A maternally crazed gorilla would come in handy at this very moment."
- BA4
# "Have you ever visited Planet Earth ?"
- EB to the General, BA4.
# "You've taken a vow of silence, how fascinating. Tell me about it."
- Lord Percy, to EB's religios Uncle Whiteadder, Beer, BA2
# "I'm going to a fancy dress party as Lady Hamilton's pussy."
- EB to the Price Regent, wearing a catskin cloak he bought when he thought he was going to be knighted.
# "Baldric, that is the worst plan since Abe Lincoln said to his wife, I'm sick of sitting around the house, let's catch a show"
- EB, BA4
# "This will be the greatest moment in art since Mona Lisa walked into the studio and said, I'm feeling a little odd today."
- EB to G and B, about to do his painting, BA4
# "Nursie, am I glad to see you or did someone put a canoe in my pocket."
- LF to Nursie, Bells, BA2
# EB: "With 100,000 men dying every day, who's going to miss one small pigeon?"
BANG!
G: "Well, obviously not you, sir"
- BA4
# Bob: "I wanted to see a war run so badly."
EB: "Well you've come to the right place, then. There hasn't been a war run this badly since Olaf the hairy, King of all the vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside."
- EB, BA4
# "We're in a sticky situation all right. This is the stickiest situation since Sticky the Stick insect got caught on a sticky bun."
- EB, BA4
# "Baldric, you have the intellectual capacity of a dirty potato."
- EB
# "Since then, we've made as much ground as an asthmatic ant with a heavy load of shopping."
- EB commenting on Allied progress in WWI, BA4
# "Must it end this way, Baldric? Am I to cut you into thin strips and tell the Prince that you walked on an extremely sharp grid wearing a heavy hat?"
- EB to Baldric, BA3
# "Bloody potatoes. Next thing you know, they'll be eating them."
- EB to B, Potato, BA2
# "Believe me,Baldric, an eternity in the company of Beelzebub and all his hellish minions will be as nothing compared to five minutes alone with me...and this pencil."
- EB to B, BA3
# "Like private parts to the Gods are we, they play with us for their sport."
- Lord Melchett to EB, Chains, BA2
# "Oh, it was a scythe!"
- EB, after playing charades with his guard, Chains, BA2
# "She's got a tongue like an electric eel and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils."
- LF, to camera, about Kate (Bob), Bells, BA2

[Kyan]

Yeah, so i'm not going to pretend my threads are super fun for lurkers. I prioritise my time to playing, not reporting mostly. However, you have my word that i'll give it a bloody good go!

Furthermore, TT is around, and will have access to the save, so if you're lucky, he'll post screenies more often than i will. I'll put pictures up of anything really important. Otherwise, feel free to request anything and i'll do my best to provide.

I always set myself a goal in these games. In pitboss 3, my aim was to 'be relevant' which i achieved. In both PBEM 4 and 12, my goal was to win and i'm a good way towards that. No, that's not spoiler. In this game, it's a tough crowd. I think i'm probably the underdog here so i'm going to go with 'don't be embarassed'. Hmph. Yeah, that'll do. Doing an analysis of my opponents seems kinda pointless as they're all pretty well known. They're the guys winning the other PBEM's

I intend to expand very rapidly using feck all defenders, relying on diplomacy and financial to get me through to East Indiamen. I'll use those to get me through to Steam Power and i'll use dikes to not come last. Simples.

[Kyan]

I was surprised that Willem dropped through to me as i was expecting him to be gone. I was considering various options. Darius of Vikings was mentioned by TT which might have been fun. I expected Inca to be around so Peter or Isabella of Inca were other options. However, having been denied a financial civ in every game on these forums so far, i was delighted to have a strong one pass down to me. I was actually hoping to get first pick to grab Pacal. I intended to roll with Pacal of Vikings or Dutch if that came about but it wasn't to be.

I spent a long time looking at the civ's for Willem (who picked himself) and was down to one of:

Byzantine, Maya, Vikings, Dutch, Portugal.

I decided against Portugal because their unique unit would lose some power if we were all contactable by galley. Byzantine were a strong option but cata's wouldn't be as strong if i also needed a fleet of galleys to transport them. Maya was possibly the obvious pick but i've been there and done that in PBEM4. Also, we are promised a lush map with many resources. If happy is prevalent and i start on my own island with no barbs- what use is a building with extra happy and an ancient age resourceless spearmen? Maya are *very* overrated as a civ in my opinion. I find many of the civ's very samey and people just pick one of the ones whose building gives a nice happy boost. I figured that wasn't the name of the game here and with the obvious Inca/India already gone, water based fun seemed the best pick. This is also why Ottomans pick surprised me. Personally, i think StM may regret that one down the line.

I won't be competing for wonders here. Let the others have them. The Great Lighthouse might be a brilliant wonder, but with these players, people aren't stupid enough to give them open borders.

pitboss 4 spoiler

Getting The Great Lighthouse has put Rego way behind in pb3 for example. I expect this to fall to Rego. Fine by me. I'll spend those resources getting more cities

[Twinkletoes89]

Yeah, so i'm not going to pretend my threads are super fun for lurkers. I prioritise my time to playing, not reporting mostly. However, you have my word that i'll give it a bloody good go!

Furthermore, TT is around, and will have access to the save, so if you're lucky, he'll post screenies more often than i will. I'll put pictures up of anything really important. Otherwise, feel free to request anything and i'll do my best to provide.

Thanks for laying that on me :neenernee!!

There were a few interesting choices in there by everyone, and we will only see with time whether the Dutch was the right choice. It looks like its going to be a predominantly always peace build (snooze)fest for quite a long time.

As the barbs are off too, there could be no conflict for a long time. My one bit of advice (after Vikings weren't chosen :neenernee) is go coastal as quick as possible and get contact (for tech discounts) and most importantly the circumnavigation bonus for naval action!

You may hear this a lot but I'll be pushing for some 'Sirian Doctrine Surprises' (best not give me too much save access Mr Farmer's Gambit!)

[plako]

Your start:

[Twinkletoes89]

First thoughts from me :-

Settle in place is better than wasting a turn going onto the plains hill. We lose 3 grass hills by moving to the plains hill and that's too much production to lose for our capital. We will still have plenty of riverside grassland to cottage and plenty of food. We need the production!

[Kyan]

Hmm, Plako you sneaky son of a bitch

Thanks a lot for making the map mate. This should be great fun. Me and TT are discussing at the mo, i'll paste the convo in here momentarily.

[Twinkletoes89]

Once the chat is up, I'll do a little bit of analysis of settling in place & settling 1E

[Kyan]

This is the exerpt from Skype. I've removed my real name to stop all the females on this board having easier access finding me.

I've removed TT's name because.... Yeah, just because.

[20:59:38] seen the starting screenie?
[COLOR="Cyan"][20:59:48] no sir
[20:59:50] on my way![/COLOR]
[21:00:06] already posted some thoughts
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:01:07] hmm
[21:01:09] thats
[21:01:10] difficult
[21:01:13] beautiful
[21:01:23] but difficult[/COLOR]
[21:01:28] really?
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:01:32] yes
[21:01:54] im inclined to agree with you[/COLOR]
[21:02:25] I can't see a better option tbh
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:02:33] hmm
[21:02:34] well
[21:02:48] 1E would be faster starting and would make it a commerce monstrosity
[21:02:56] dont forget the importance of snowballing
[21:03:07] it has more trees also[/COLOR]
[21:03:17] but no production at all
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:03:22] yes
[21:03:32] but production cities can be founded
[21:03:38] im playing devils advocate here
[21:03:49] my first impression agreed with you[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Magenta"][21:03:53] i guessed
[21:04:25] i can't see why SIP wouldn't be a commerce monster too
[21:04:37] you lose on grassland tile but there's still tonnes[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:05:22] sip?
[21:05:31] oh it would be[/COLOR]
[21:05:37] settle in place
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:05:49] hmm
[21:05:51] first thoughts
[21:05:58] we need bureacracy
[21:05:59] and an academy
[21:06:01] yesterday
[21:06:16] actually, feck the academy. For a little bit anyhow, we'll be expanding too fast for that
[21:06:36] other thoughts
[21:06:48] no happiness resources in sight thus far
[21:06:56] also
[21:07:02] floodplains in are to the north
[21:07:06] at least 1, possibly 2
[21:07:12] probably two
[21:07:42] also, that tile in top NW corner looks possibly floodplains also[/COLOR]
[21:07:54] could be coast
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:07:56] far west has either the end of a river or coast
[21:07:59] yeah[/COLOR]
[21:08:13] doubt it is coast though
[21:08:20] im not that desperate for the great lightouse regardless
[COLOR="Magenta"][21:08:24] as there was special request for no coastal capitals
[21:08:39] so I'd be surprised if it was that close[/COLOR]
[21:08:53] yeah true
[21:09:08] first thing would prob be to move warrior 1N
[21:09:15] haha i was just typing that
[21:09:21] psychic
[21:09:25] check out floodplains area for potential city 2
[21:09:42] yeah or possible hidden resource like Ivory
[COLOR="Cyan"][21:10:37] fingers crossed
[21:10:40] early happy would be nice
[21:10:48] you ok if i paste this convo to thread?[/COLOR]
[21:10:51] yeah sure

[Twinkletoes89]

[SIZE="3"]SETTLE IN PLACE[/SIZE]



Tiles

Food Surplus

Riverside Rice
Riverside Corn
Grassland Pig

Food Neutral

5x Riverside Grassland (3 with forests)
2x Grassland (1 with forest)
City Tile (2,1,1)

Food Deficit

3x Grassland Hills (1 forest)
2x Plains (1 forested)
1x Riverside Plains Hill

Fogged

4 tiles (1 Riverside + 1 Forest)

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary

Lots of food and grassland means it will eventually be a strong commerce city. Also has 4 hills to mine & give us 13h to help us build stuff we need should we not always want to whip or chop (as we have lots of forest too).

4 tiles will all be revealed on settling but unlikely to be anything too outrageously good - we already have enough food!

First turns

T0 - Settle in Place
T2 - Borders pop
T5 - Mining in
T10 - Wheel in - Worker Complete
T13 - Border pop
T14 - Rice pastured
T15 - Pottery in
T18 - 2nd Worker in
T19 - Corn pastured
T21 - Capital Size 2 - Grassland Mine complete - Corn roaded
T23 - Capital Size 3
T24 - Bronze Working in
T26 - 2 chops in
T27 - Settler out

So by Turn 27, SIP yields us 4 techs (Mining, Wheel, Pottery, BW), 2 Workers & 1 Settler with a Size 3 Capital working improved tiles (2 pasture & a mine)

Not too shabby!