You're Banter Fodder! [Player Hangout]

[thestick]

Having a blast!

Current status:

Improve Crop Yield at all costs!

Standard 'the use of this poster is for entertainment purposes only' disclaimer.

[Jowy]

Sweet move with that combat settler btw, caught me off-guard!

[Bobchillingworth]

OH GOD BOB'S REPORTING, WHAT HAPPENED WHAT HAPPENED


(T75 seemed like a good point, also Colossus)



Jowy, you have the 'Henge and are playing Egypt. How do you not have a Shrine yet? Or a religion.

[Jowy]

I'm Angel King Jowy IV of Cloud Kingdom, the only real deity in existence!!
Our people have no need to worship false gods!!

[thestick]

Quite a vengeful god there.

Hip hip for strangely appropriate sig lines!

[Bobchillingworth]

In celebration of Mardoc's restored internet connection, the Mayan people present the following cultural exchange:


Bob's Wholly Inauthentic Mexican Rice (Serves 5)



Ingredients:


* Two cups of long-grain white rice (not enriched)

* 15 oz canned diced tomatoes (Rotel or similar tomato / green chili mix works as well)

* One small onion & one medium onion (white or yellow)

* Four cloves of garlic

* 2 cups chicken stock (using chicken bouillon cubes is fine)

* 1 tablespoon hot sauce (I use Mike's Hot Sauce)

* 1 jalapeno (you can substitute a small green bell pepper if you're a wuss)

* 1 carrot

* 1 1/4 teaspoon cumin powder

* 1 1/4 teaspoon red chili powder

* 1/2 teaspoon turmeric (use 3/4 if you want yellower rice)

* 1 1/2 teaspoon fine salt

* 3/4 cup vegetable oil



Equipment:


* Blender

* Heavy-bottomed wide skillet / pan with high rims (needs to be able to hold a couple inches of liquid)

* Oven

* Stove

* Strainer



Directions:


1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. Place rice in strainer, run under cold water for about 2 minutes, until the water coming out of the strainer runs clear. Set on a towel to dry.

3. Dice small onion, pepper (jalapeno or bell) & carrot. Place diced vegetables in a bowl and set aside.

4. Quarter medium onion (discard outermost two layers of peel) and place it in the blender along with the garlic, canned tomatoes and hot sauce. Blend on medium speed until smooth, then pour resulting mixture into a measuring cup and set aside.

5. Prepare two cups of chicken stock. Set aside.

6. In a small bowl / cup, mix together the turmeric, cumin, chili powder and salt. Set aside.

7. Pour vegetable oil into skillet. Swirl around so that it coats the bottom evenly. Turn stove heat to medium, place a few grains of rice into the pan.

8. When the rice begins to sizzle, pour in the full two cups of rice. Stir constantly for about 7 minutes, making sure the grains are evenly coated, until they start to brown / tan slightly. If your oil is popping, the heat is too high.

9. Reduce heat to medium-low, stir in diced vegetables. Cook for 1-2 minutes (until the onions start turning translucent).

10. Pour in chicken stock, followed by the blended ingredients, followed by the spice mixture. Reduce heat to low, stir well.

11. When the liquid begins to boil (usually happens about 20 seconds after you reduce heat to low), let it cook for about 30 seconds and then cover and turn off the heat. Move pan to the oven (which at this point should be at 350 degrees).

12. Bake for 15 minutes. Then remove the lid, stir well, replace the lid and cook for another 20.

13. Remove from the oven and enjoy! Optionally garnish with spanish olives, shredded mexican cheese and/or cilantro. Goes well with fried chicken.

[Mardoc]

In celebration of Mardoc's restored internet connection,

Sadly, this is still partially sneakernet - but at least the snow has let up long enough to let me get my flash drive to the internet.

In related news, if you name your civ Verizon, I *will* declare war.

But hey, at least I can have some inauthentic Mexicans over for supper. If I print out the webpage like it's the 90's

[thestick]

The Chinese present the following cultural exchange:

thestick's Badly-Remembered Steamed Eggs

Ingredients:
Eggs (3?)
Water
(Corn) Oil
Soy Sauce (optional)

Equipment:
Bowl
Plate large enough to cover the top of the bowl
Pot/Pan and Lid
Metal Steamer

1. Crack and scramble the eggs in a bowl.
2. Add water to the egg mix so that the mix is roughly 60% egg and 40% water. Mix.
3. Add oil. The oil should float to the top of the mix. Add until the oil covers roughly 75% of the mix's surface.
4. Mix. Add soy sauce to taste.
5. Put water into the skillet/pot along with the steamer. Boil.
6. Place bowl on top of steamer. Place plate on top of bowl. Place top on skillet/pot. Lower heat to medium-low. Steam until solid.
7. If done properly, the surface of the steamed eggs will not have cracks in it.

[Mardoc]

Well, what are rice and eggs without some beer?

The following text from 1800 BC is the Hymn to Ninkasi, translated by Miguel Civil. It was written by a Sumerian poet and found on clay tablet. It actually includes one of the most ancient recipes for brewing beer.

Hymn to Ninkasi

Borne of the flowing water,
Tenderly cared for by the Ninhursag,
Borne of the flowing water,
Tenderly cared for by the Ninhursag,

Having founded your town by the sacred lake,
She finished its great walls for you,
Ninkasi, having founded your town by the sacred lake,
She finished it's walls for you,

Your father is Enki, Lord Nidimmud,
Your mother is Ninti, the queen of the sacred lake.
Ninkasi, your father is Enki, Lord Nidimmud,
Your mother is Ninti, the queen of the sacred lake.

You are the one who handles the dough [and] with a big shovel,
Mixing in a pit, the bappir with sweet aromatics,
Ninkasi, you are the one who handles the dough [and] with a big shovel,
Mixing in a pit, the bappir with [date] - honey,

You are the one who bakes the bappir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,
Ninkasi, you are the one who bakes the bappir in the big oven,
Puts in order the piles of hulled grains,

You are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the potentates,
Ninkasi, you are the one who waters the malt set on the ground,
The noble dogs keep away even the potentates,

You are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.
Ninkasi, you are the one who soaks the malt in a jar,
The waves rise, the waves fall.

You are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Coolness overcomes,
Ninkasi, you are the one who spreads the cooked mash on large reed mats,
Coolness overcomes,

You are the one who holds with both hands the great sweet wort,
Brewing [it] with honey [and] wine
(You the sweet wort to the vessel)
Ninkasi, (...)(You the sweet wort to the vessel)

The filtering vat, which makes a pleasant sound,
You place appropriately on a large collector vat.
Ninkasi, the filtering vat, which makes a pleasant sound,
You place appropriately on a large collector vat.

When you pour out the filtered beer of the collector vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.
Ninkasi, you are the one who pours out the filtered beer of the collector vat,
It is [like] the onrush of Tigris and Euphrates.

(from here)

[Jowy]

Bob where are ya? You haven't gotten the traditional Cloud Kingdom welcome yet..