[SPOILERS] The Suttree Gambit: Catherine of China

[suttree]

Slogan for today:

Also, today will the best day because I have many market happiness resources and cheap markets.

Overview:

[suttree]

Slogan for Today:

Bedtime Story:

Overview:

[suttree]

Holey Moley! Scout survived a bear attack, so now he is named "Liquorice Chops".

Slogan for Today:

Bedtime Story:

Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.

This ass talk had a sort of gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go.

This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriloquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called "The Better 'Ole" that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, "Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?"

"Nah! I had to go relieve myself."

After a while the ass started talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy incurving hooks, and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way out through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fists and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him, "It's you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don't need you around here any more."

Overview:

[suttree]

Here citteh citteh....

Slogan for Today:

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

Overview:

[suttree]

Keep on Choppin'

Slogan for Today:

Bedtime Story:

A man who believes himself to be a kernel of grain is taken to a mental institution where the doctors do their best to convince him that he is not a kernel of grain but a man.

When he is cured (convinced that he is not a kernel of grain but a man) and allowed to leave the hospital, he immediately comes back, trembling and very scared - there is a chicken outside the door, and he is afraid it will eat him.

“My dear fellow,” says his doctor, “you know very well that you are not a kernel of grain but a man.”

“Of course I know,” replies the patient, “but does the chicken?”

Overview:

[suttree]

AHA! I know where you are Mr. Retep!

Slogan for Todoay:

Bedtime Story:

John Freeman
who was Gordon Freemans brother
was one day in an office
typing on a computer.

He got an email
from his brother
that said that aliens and monsters
were attacking his place
and aksed him for help
so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down
and wet on the platform
to go up to the roof of the building
where he left his motorcycle
and normal people close because
he was in his office lab coat.

John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said
"its time for me to live up to my family name
and face full life consequences"
so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building
and did a backflip and landed.
He kept driving
down the road
and made sure
there was no zombies around
because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice
and the plants were singing
and the birds
and the sun was almost down from
the top of the sky.
the mood was set for John Freemans quest
to help his brother
where he was.

John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said
"its a good day to do
what has to be done by me
and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

John Freeman was late so he had
to drive really fast.
A cop car was hiden near by
so when John Freeman went by
the cops came
and wanted to give him a ticket.

Here John Freeman
saw the first monster
because the cop was posessed
and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer"
John Freeman said

"Why not?"
said the headcrab oficer
back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie"

so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head
and drove off thinking
"my brother is in trouble there"
and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster
like the speed of sound
and got there fast
because Gordon needed him
where he was.

John Freeman looked at road signs
and saw "Ravenholm"
with someons writing under it saying
"u shudnt come here"
so John Freeman almost turned around
but heard screaming like Gordon
so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in
and did another flip
n jumped off his motorbike
and the motor bike took out
some headcrab zombies
infront of John Freeman.

John Freeman smiled
and walked fast.
John Freeman
then looked on the ground
and found wepon
so he pickd it up
and fired fast
at zombie goasts
in front of a house.

John Freeman said
"Zombie goasts leave this place"

and the zombie goasts said
"but this is our house"

and John Freeman felt sorry for them
becaus they couldnt live there anymore
because they were zombie goasts
so he blew up the house
and killed the zombie goasts
so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream
from his brother
so he kept walking really faster
to get
where he was.

Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides
there was no birds singing
and the pants were dead
and teh dirt was messy and bloody
from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got
to where the screaming was started from
he found his brother Gorden Freeman
fightin the final bosss

and Gordon said
"John Freeman! Over here!"
so John Freeman went there to
where Gordon Freeman was
fighting.

John Freeman fired his bullet
from teh gun really fast
and the bullets went
and shot the final boss in the eyes
and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said
"its time to end this ones and for all!"
and punched the final boss in the face
and the final boss fell.

John Freeman said
"thanks i could help, bro"

and Gordon Freeman said
"you should come here
earlier next time"

and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though
because John Freeman yelled
"LOOK OUT BRO!"
and pointed up
to the top of the sky.

Gordon Freeman looked up and said
"NOO!
John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!"
and John Freeman
walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back
and saw Gordon
get steppd on by the next boss
and he was mad
and angry.

"I'll get you back evil boss!"
John Freeman yelled
at the top of lungs.

OVERVIEW:

[spacetyrantxenu]

so he blew up the house
and killed the zombie goasts
so they were at piece.

I see what you did there.

[The Black Sword]

What's the reasoning behind At Chess location as opposed to the plain hill 1S?

[suttree]

Let he who has not slacked... Sean Connery etc. etc.

OVERVIEW:

DEMOS:

[suttree]

What's the reasoning behind At Chess location as opposed to the plain hill 1S?

HOW I THOUGHT ABOUT IT:
Small Reasons: 1S killed a forest, was settled a turn later (t41 vs t40), and I didn't have pottery until t44 (couldn't capitalize on plains hill)
Big Reason: 1S forced all horse hammers in to units I felt I didn't need given copper city; coastal settle allowed workboats and now galley(s). Bonus hammer seems not so good if it can't be invested.