[SPOILERS] This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land. But Mostly Mine.

[Commodore]

Who likes blood?

If blood is shed in a pitboss, but nobody is around to report it, does it make a splatter?

[HitAnyKey]

FYI, I'm quickly logging in as you right now to unpause it for OH. Won't do anything other than that.

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

Who likes blood?

Answer: BRickAstley, Ceiliazul, Mardoc, Rowain. Everyone else, please resume your Desperate Housewives binging on Netflix.

Me! Me!

Is that a trick question?

True Blood, New Blood or the real thing?

Not True Blood. If you know where this .gif came from (True Blood), if this is indicative of the carnage from recent turns then you know it's THE REAL THING.

If blood is shed in a pitboss, but nobody is around to report it, does it make a splatter?

If a bear farts in the woods, has commando infantry on hand, fighters to strafe the rifles, and (shirtless) Cossacks to make the widows forget to weep for the decimated siege because of the sheer manliness of bare-chested autocrats on horseback then...maybe.

(Apparently this is a real product.)

I promise there is a turn report coming. Eventually.

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

Ok, so I do suck at updating these days. Sorry!

T227

I'm saving gold this turn waiting for TBS to finish Radio so I get a little extra KTB. I'm not a GNP juggernaut, so whatever I can do to keep costs down I'll do.



Still posturing near AT. By now I've decided I'm not going to do anything to him. Yet. I have a healthy case of hubris and think that I can just attack anyone I want to, so this is how I operate. I'm not wrong. I can attack anyone, it just may not help my cause. And I have no (zero, none) wish to attack OH/Fin. Let them chase their victory condition.



Looks like the end for Xenu isn't far away.






Ruff finally made peace with Krill. That's fine with me, I don't see why he should keep an eternal turn split. But if you sign open borders...









Radio is next.

T228

When the first screen shot I take is the demo, that means I was sick of playing the turn. I'm just posting everything in the order I took the picture at this point. Anyway, what's this? #1 GNP! Oh, it's Military Science. I guess you know what that means.





Wetbandit, it was never you. It was always me.



I'm obviously Kanye, center of the universe, victim of everything, even the problems I've caused.



Mmmm. Air power. Tasty.



This is a big stack. Unfortunately for wetbandit, I have commandos, air power, and, worst for him, Cossacks. Sorry pal, you deserve better than you're about to get.



Big stack over here, but I'm not sending any ground units here for now. All assets are focused on eliminating wetbandit's eastern stack. The navy here is just a wall to keep Krill away (does he even care anymore?) and to keep wetbandit honest.



Pretty soon these units will have been better positioned somewhere else, but that's ok. I hope I can capture this before it gets out of resistance. Don't whip this huge city!



Elsewhere, in things related to the end of the game and an actual victory condition, a quick turnaround on The Eiffel Tower for TBS. This is one less tech he'll have to spend resources on, so that much earlier he can push the culture win button. I don't know if I've said it, but I really hate culture victories. And not because I'm about to lose to one.

T229

I get a kick out of seeing the great spies. And I need my workers to do a little magic before I begin the war.



Wetbandit's defense. After these guys, it's just rifles hiding in cities waiting for their turn to die. Cavs are a negligible obstacle because Cossacks are murder.



This is how I made my first mistake, which could have been costly. The red paint indicates where I have helpfully laid railroads into wetbandit's territory. I measured ten tiles from Arches (the city building the machine gun). However, I do not have all of my commando units stationed inside Arches. I have them scattered further east and hiding on boats in an effort to not be 100% totally obvious that the blitz is about to begin. The result of this is that I did not use all of my commandos in the correct order to achieve the maximum first turn effect. I COULD have wiped wetbandit's entire stack if I had used everything in the correct order. Unfortunately, I used some commando units on targets that could have been reached by further commando units, which meant that I had to use come cossacks attacking things beside the main stack. Had I used all available cossack hits on the collateral stack I almost certainly would have killed all 79 units on the first turn. That was the first round knockout blow I was looking to land.



My odds were actually better than this. I believe this is before I've started air strikes on the underlying trash. I've already used strikes against the rifles by now if I remember correctly.



Apparently I've done one mop up combat somewhere. I don't know what else is new on this shot, except it's time to push.



I cringe. Cossacks not hitting the primary target!



Step one to reaching the big stack complete, and it comes with population and infrastructure. Hooray Forge!



Free gold is good.



Collapsing culture is even better. Hello exposed Doomsday-ish stack!



Thanks for the courthouse and all of the angry little birds. And, I'm just noticing this for the first time, TWO settled generals!



Yep. My Medic3 HAis getting 100% against a cannon. That's all you need to know. The hitters are all dead and it's a smoking pile of collateral left behind this guy.



That's giving up a lot of GNP.



I can't wait to see that power drop for wetbandit. I've waited a long time to get a significant pile of commandos ready.

Read the next batch bottom to top. Units named as numbers are commandos.











Oww. Very ouch, baby. The rifle died at something like 98%. Loser.



State of things at EoT. On the 5 you still see some units left surviving the battle for wetbandit: 27 cats, 1 cav. I totally flubbed on counting tiles. I counted tiles from the border cities for the purpose of moving commandos via railroad, but not all commandos were prepositioned here. This led to less units being available to hit the main stack. Worse, I misread how the culture would peel back, leaving 16 infantry unable to join the fight from my ships and another 6 infantry plus assorted 10 more trash from West Thumb (by a single railroad tile!) from hitting, which would have finished the job easily by the end. And, the last careless mistake, if I had had two more worker turns available, I could have let the infantry hit wetbandit's stack anyway. I had two more worker turns available, on the border, but I had them building a workshop last turn and did not cancel the action so wetbandit would discount their presence. I only realized this on the following turn when I had a brand new workshop. Well, damn.

I'm irritated that I didn't wipe it but it was still a spectacularly successful attack by any measure. The war has begun!

[fluffyflyingpig]

Finally the red on red boarders will go away.

Pretty borders are the greatest possible casus belli for war. As anyone who has played Europa Universalis will tell you.

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

T230

At dawn, the attack resumes.

There's only one unit here and the city has 60% culture, which I want gone immediately. Easy call.



Burn it. The objective is not the cities, but rather wetbandit's army. This city is of limited value and will only slow me down.



Us.



Them. My mismanagement last turn means I'll have to spend more units attacking this turn because there are no free flanks on cats in the city. The upside is that I'll get more GG points. You know what they say. Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you're chewing on life's gristle, don't grumble. Give a whistle and this'll help things turn out for the best.



Always look on the bright side of life.



Infantry supported by air strikes make this a long fight for wetbandit. Jeopardy can hang on the vine, I'm not diverting resources there. It isn't slowing me down and I can mop it up later with newly built reinforcements.



I'm still cognizant of costs, so I keep troops within my own borders whenever possible.



Meanwhile, in things that matter to the outcome of the game, OH/Fin have started to thump the usurper. Go, go, go, go!



I'm not sure why I put my battle log on this side of the world, but whatever. I lost two commandos this turn. Price of doing business in a hurry.



Tanks are next!



TBS is starting to pile some units in here. Obviously this will hit critical mass sooner than 100 turns with all of these cottages. I really hate CVs.



Because they're gimmicky.



And who wants to spend the last 50 turns of the game being invaded? If you're a winner, you go out on your fucking feet! Not hiding in a hole like a rat.



Starve, you filthy rat. Starve. (note: this is not how I feel about TBS, just about CVs.)

T231

The war continues, and I seek to make new friends frenemies.

I should have accepted his offer. The meaning is clear enough to me. But, admit it. You're only here for the war, not for anything else. So what the hell is this?



I wanted the island three tiles west, but GJ got there first. Despite the dissertation on junk filler cities in GJ's PB22 thread, there are other, better uses for junk cities than trade route income. This is a strategic play, pure and simple. I want an airbase close to TBS. This is on the eastern side of his empire, which is closer to his culture cities. Can I somehow get enough commandos in position to drive into his territory and kill one of the three crucial cities? I have no idea. I doubt it, but every effort should be made. This is just one more way to apply pressure. TBS is good. Very good. But this map is large and it's a determined field at the top. It is hard to foresee every circumstance. Will he see this coming? It's worth a shot.



So my counter to GJ: Take my city, I'll take your entire HAK island. I mean it, and I can do it. The ball is in his court. He's not the most logical player at times and is prone to being emotional when thwarted, but I have the biggest military and it's advanced. And it's nearby. And it WILL kill his cities if he chooses unwisely.

Anyway, back to what you came here for.



I think I remember that the cats retreated, beneath the cannon 2 SE of Hollywood Squares. I think wetbandit was setting them as bait, looking at how he has the rest of his units set up. At least he decided not to put everything into one big stack this time. My next goal is to kill all of the hitters. I won't be able to reach the rear cannon stack no matter what I do, but everything else is in play because if you look closely, Press Your Luck's garrison is in full retreat, now on the hill 1E of The Price is Right.



At first I was critical of wetbandit moving his units out of the city, but upon reflection, he actually got better defensive odds on the hill with these units than he would have in the city. I bombarded culture away and the city is on flat terrain, so there would have been very little benefit. Even CG promos would have only equaled the hill bonus (he only had c1/CG1, no CG2s). Anyway, with this culture disappearing so easily I have plenty of units left to hit The Price is Right and capture that this turn, which then exposes wetbandit's armies again, including the garrison that was just evacuated.



Before I get to that, though, some amphibious infantry attacking nets another city.



Cool.



Overkill on the bait stack, but they have to die.



Amphibious infantry, cossacks, and maybe a knight, all supported by air strikes. I'll reinforce by picking up the marooned infantry near Press Your Luck and unloading them immediately in The Price is Right. The only reason for this caution is that I can't kill the cannon stack and wetbandit could attack out of his capital with about 7 rifles. This is probably his best chance to get some kills with his units but I don't think he'll do it. Attacking out of your capital with rifles just seems like such a bad idea. It is a bad idea, truthfully, but in this situation wetbandit has precious few good options.



Good enough.



So here's what's left of wetbandit's defensive stacks. The retreating garrison from Press Your Luck is dead by this point. I have at least four defenders in every city that the cavs can hit, so wetbandit won't be popping annoying culture on me anywhere via city recapture.



Next up: Majide and Hollywood^2, or something else depending on wetbandit's moves. Unless relations sour with Joey. With him being tilty given map trades in PB25, I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a rash decision here, with little to lose but a fourth place finish. He might find 7th place more satisfying assuming he's taken me out of the running for a win, but I'm here to fight at this point anyway, and my army is still closer to him than to Krill sooo...



These guys are a priority, but I doubt they'll be left outside of a city again.



Commandos will likely get this city next turn. Two turns max if I decide it's better to heal the commandos instead.



This will be up to 9 or 10 rifles via drafts before I get it. I'm anticipating a size 5 capture. I don't have enough infantry left on transports to snag this immediately because I'm keeping options available...



...for here. GJ has well promoted infantry from his HAK campaign but he doesn't have air support. I'd rather not waste my units against infantry when tanks will be here so soon, but we'll see. For now, I've moved destroyers into position to bottle up ports and prevent his galleons from getting out. My three former-HAK cities on the small island are undefended or weakly defended. Joey has galleons in Banana Brain but no way to immediately access a port (his galleons only have 4 movement points) so I assume he'd need to land somewhere beforemaking an attack. I can finish up a machine gun in each city next turn if needed.

[META theorizing... GJ has played the current turn. He logged in for under two minutes, probably gnashed his teeth at my provocative diplo message, then discovered, despite his trade offer/warning, that I settled on his precious ice ball trade route filler (the fucking nerve!), and then fumed, spat, raged, plotted, simmed, then seven minutes later logged back in and spent the next 80 minutes trying to make my life a living hell.]



I want to end the game #1 in land area.



It's a start! This really brings home the point how weak Ruff is. I should have eaten him already, but I've felt a bit of a sense of responsibility for his welfare since saving him from Krill. He made peace with our mutual enemy, so I suppose the cloak of protection has withered now...



One explanation for me not committing more fully to an espionage economy is that three of my top four buildings are beaker multipliers. Even though they were discounted (excluding the CRE libraries ), I have a hard time not running the slider on beakers after spending so many hammers on these buildings. I can still run the EP slider and build up to steal some techs, but unfortunately the tech leader, OH/Fin, are also the next strongest EP civ, and this makes the efficiency less, to the point that it isn't really worth it after taking into account the relationship hit and corresponding need to more tightly defend our border. And, to be honest, I don't want the nightmare of having to fight them so I'm just going to keep being nice, even if it is sub-optimal. I'll keep passively piling EP into TBS and steal from him, then tech draft off OH/Fin. That will keep me in shouting range. IF OH/Fin can prevent TBS from getting the low-class, backdoor, slinking out of town with the trophy culture victory then I should manage to have a bigger army and better production (with slightly worse tech) for the space race showdown. And the chips will fall wherever they fall.

This turn's blood (and strike/bombardment) report. Bottom to top as always:

















This turn's loss: an infantry, sentry knight, and five catapults (who otherwise are unlikely to ever see action) that allowed pikes and crossbows to kill wetbandit's retreating Press Your Luck garrison. And, yes, Live Free orDie. That's the state slogan for New Hampshire apparently. I named the two infantry "Scenic New Hampshire" and some French equivalent of the city's name. Freedom!!!

[spacetyrantxenu]

If you capture my beautiful size 20 city before it starves down you're going to have to fight plako next to keep it from starving. You know, in case you need any ideas about who to attack next to increase your tile count.

I haven't read most of the thread, just the last day or two. Looks like lots of units are dying, so that's good. Wetbandit was a nice neighbor but I'm glad to see you cutting him to pieces now. I feel so avenged. Anyway, winning the game is for chumps, glory wars are where it's at. Amirite? Have fun.

[Ceiliazul]

That's an incredible kill radio. Murder dude.

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

I must have Asperger's or something because I really seem to find a way to make an enemy where otherwise there wouldn't be one. Joey is incensed at my iceball in his backlines. From his perspective I see why he's mad, but he can't see the forest for the trees sometimes. Depending on how Joey plays this he can either help me try to prevent a TBS culture victory or he can slide down the leader board and lose a bunch of cities in what will be a bloody fight for both of us. But worse for him because I'll have bombers and tanks and battleships much sooner than he will.

Ugh.

[spacetyrantxenu]