[spoilers] Commodore and Dtay are Sitting Bull of Inca, somehow.

[Commodore]

Two interesting data:
-Retep, spending five minutes per turn, still wants to try and have a slice of tasty Celt.
-GermanJoey got himself the Music Great Artist, Wolfgang Mozart of course.

I guess to mention also, Triplet popped third ring so our path is now secure.

Retep wants to snipe Guns N' Roses, eh? Well, he's probably got ~8 horse archers in that far hill so it's certainly possible. But even Captain Shock here is looking at a gnarly 33% odds fight to kill that top axeman. So I'm thinking we'll manage, barring something cheesy like Grimace gifting the city away.

Man I hope he doesn't gift the city away.

The main event, of course, is the hit out on Poison. The shock jock here looks at 71% odds on the topmost defender, so we're definitely taking this sucker at a run. The maligned chariots aren't even filler here; once the Gaels get stripped I'll soften the axemen with the chariots to keep the prime fighters good and limber. Here is where the main thrust lies and here is where I most want to take and hold prime economic real estate.

Gaels are really more attackers than defenders, particularly in a flatland city.

Bonus invasion that might require more follow-up? That's Skid Row here. Top defender is vulnerable to one of the three looming knights at 70% odds, but that archer is going to give the crossbows fits. We'll have to see what gets whipped in; at least it's another flatland city.

There's a wonder in those seven intact forests if I can wrest cultural control from HAK by hook or crook.

That's where we are here on turn one of the war. After those three cities fall, Motley Crue stands before us, and then there are only four remaining satellites. The Celtic capital looks vulnerable; hopefully it can still be overrun in three turns when the hammer comes down. Let's blitz.

No more fun feeling in the game of civ, guys.

Retep Peace Treaty: 7t
HAK Peace Treaty: 9t

[Ceiliazul]

Kill count:
-1 chariot

-1 scout
3/30 on the next great general.

Pathetic! You dont earn lurkers by losing chariots! </sarc>

Go get him! Whoever that happens to be...

If celtia, remember that guerrilla 3 adds 50% retreat... meaning even knights dont have odds to kill the attacker. Mean stuff if used like old numids!

[spacetyrantxenu]

No more fun feeling in the game of civ, guys.

Explain?

Edit: Nevermind, I read it as "there's no more fun in this one" the first time instead of the more likely "it doesn't get any freaking better than this."

[Commodore]

If celtia, remember that guerrilla 3 adds 50% retreat... meaning even knights dont have odds to kill the attacker. Mean stuff if used like old numids!

Yeah, although I'd still be super thrilled if they opt to fight *outside* of the city walls duns. One note to keep in mind, though; G3 also adds +25% hills attack, which I normally just think of as "negates hill defensive bonus", but against horse units that don't get terrain defense it actually means those Gaels are just 25% more gnarly.

[Commodore]

Comrades. We have among us a wrecker. He seeks to melt and burn our beautiful glorious plan to make benefit World Inca. Grimace, high off of 50% withdrawal or something, decided to pull his garrisons down...which of course translates to Aztec horse archers getting free reign over GNR. Bastard coated bastard with bastard filling.

Hands over ears, repeat “la la la la” about that incoming Joey's MoM Golden Age...

But wait, there's much more! As you see here, Retep advanced his untouched horse archers (highlit the wrecked ones behind, oops) in the road. The jerk evidently intends to further wreck things, pushing south and burning/pillaging our rightful conquests to spite us. I don't think he's a huge threat to snipe more cities, but he can jolly well set all the improvements on fire. So I cut the roads off; if he advances further south I'll have to torch the hamlet and mine next turn and so on, so forth. Thought we were getting improvements? Nope, nope, nope. This did seal the fate of Retep; HAK gets our sunny side. I started a replacement settler in Triplet, so we can resettle things 1W.

LEAVE ME ALONE AND JUST LET ME EAT.

I should be more sunny, this was a good turn strategically. We rumbled in to Poison and took it; lost two knights at 80% odds to make it happen though. That...sucked. Our heavy iron stack is looking thinner already, when you couple that setback with Retep forcing us to back up with those chariots to cut his merry looting party.

Thrawn, as is only right and proper, did polish off one of the redlined defenders to get to 9xp. That boy will go far methinks.

Dragon Pax, the artist formerly known as Poison, is actually a pretty fantastic city. Poor Grimace, this is his only river, but at least right here it's made for a good economic city site. The unchopped forests kind of baffle me, but it means infra should be fast-erecting and of all the buildings to remain, obviously a terrace is the best single one. I'd lumbermill those forests and make this an economy monster...if I didn't have to set fire to the villages before the Aztecs do. Well played, Retep.

Just breathe, Commodore, it'll be fine.

My grumpiness only increased over in Skid Row; I lost another knight although at least this time at 69% odds. The burg is a whee bit culturally crushed by Winger right now, and Winger is definitely going to slated for “die on the vine” after the capital. Still, I have no complaints about its positioning (filler), its development (filler), or its religion (Hindu). Not a bad spare pickup.

Holy crap. So many forests.

Very well then. Next turn is a bit of a breather; consolidating the side-force in Dragon Thief, sentry-scanning and possibly dispatching a side force to hit the Mystery East Banana City, and most of all setting up Thrawn's Iron Horse to hit Motley Crue. Despite annoyances, things are looking good...but never forget that the clock is tickin'.

Geography (hills) actually says the Wunderbar Crossbow Crew should be the ones targeting Mystery City.

Retep Peace Treaty: 6t
HAK Peace Treaty: 8t

[spacetyrantxenu]

BGN can tell you a story about why you don't fuck with horses while they're eating. Maybe you can share the lesson with retep!

[Commodore]

BGN can tell you a story about why you don't fuck with horses while they're eating. Maybe you can share the lesson with retep!

I will!

...when the time is right. Meaning probably:

...or maybe:

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

BGN can tell you a story about why you don't fuck with horses while they're eating. Maybe you can share the lesson with retep!

This.

[spacetyrantxenu]

Ha, that wasn't what I was thinking of. Think much, much further back....Something kind of like this:

[Boldly Going Nowhere]

Yeah, except it was my face. I knew that's what you were talking about but I thought PB11 game that never happened was more relevant. Fucking suttree. lol