[Spoilers] Breaking Newbs: A Title I Already Regret Writing

[Bobchillingworth]

Thanks, man. No, I haven't done much creative writing outside of forum posts and chats with friends. I might have a few ideas in me, but I wouldn't even know where to start as a genuine hobby / attempt to make some dough. I've tried writing short stories once or twice before, but I always found them turning toward farce (even if I began with serious intent), and myself completely unable to care about any of the characters I was writing. I've found that it's very difficult to be invested in a character when you know- and are responsible for- what will happen to them.


Although I suppose one could argue that RB itself counts as a hobby.



Here, enjoy this terrible rock song I just came up with:


Thor! Hear our plea!
The Gods of Rock dost beseech thee!
Bring the rain! Thunder! Sonic Boom!
Clear these hipsters from the room!

With a wail! From his guitar!
Loki's spreading chaos near & far!
Odin sees! Not too well!
So gimmie lightning or give me Hell!


[Mad sick guitar solo]


Chorus:

Oh we've made a terrible mistake
And confused real Thor with Marvel
It's a crime for goodness' sake
But you'd do it you were this drunk too.


[Dude screaming "aww yeah!" x4]


Dine and dash!
Trash your room!
Worship snakes with Thulsa Doom!
Set a fire! In your car!
Drive into space and be a star!


Skin a lion!
Burn a witch!
Kick Satan's ass, make him your bitch!
Blindfold puppies so they can't see!
Then blame it all on MTV!


We have no future!
Fuck the past!
Enjoy this moment, make it last!
There are no laws! Just one rule!
Don't do drugs and stay in school!


[Exeunt band followed by groupies, sheriff's department]

[Bobchillingworth]

I guess I should post an update? Nothing is happening though. My scout is healing from a Lion attack that almost killed him- he has 3 exp, so I figure he's worth keeping alive for a bit longer, instead of scouting for a few turns before dying to a wolf or something.


Capital went Worker -> Workboat -> Worker -> Warrior -> Warrior and is now working on a Settler. Everything has turned out fairly well in terms of timing, even though I haven't done any micro- Workers are putting a chop into the Settler, and will road to my first expansion, finishing just in time to speed the Settler there by a turn or two.


Capital is working a netted fish, camped deer and forest elephant and a plains hill mine. I guess I could post a screencap, but there's seriously nothing interesting to show.


I've researched Hunting, Fishing, BW and Agriculture. Finishing Myst soon, then going to try for Poly before researching Pottery.


Yup.

[GermanJoey]

Why so many warriors?

[Bobchillingworth]

A combination of wanting extra muscle juuuust in case someone wandered by with a warrior of their own & forgetting that this isn't FFH and I'm not going to get my capital poached by Lizardmen.


The second Warrior is also going to clear the land for my first expansion of animals- got a couple poking around near there, and I can't risk them killing my Settler. If they're going to get a lucky kill, best be on my Warrior before I've got important civil units stacked with it.

[GermanJoey]

Fair enough!

[Bobchillingworth]

Yay religion:





Was it worthwhile? Eh probably not. Not like the expanded borders are going to help much. Having a lock on the happiness source is nice tho. Glad I picked the right one to chase, anyway.



Scouting out REM:





Doesn't seem like he has enough warriors to stop me. Visibility will be nice to have. I'm considering chopping some Skirms and flinging them at him... we'll see. Pottery next... I can't justify putting it off any longer. After that, Archery.

[NobleHelium]

Why are those tiles wasted?

[Bobchillingworth]

Old signs from an earlier dotmap, no longer relevant. I just haven't deleted them yet.

[Bobchillingworth]

Oh boy wow I wish I had FP too THANKS OBAMA



Sent a peace offer, getting city tile vision was all I wanted. Plus 10 turns of enforced peace will be enough to make sure I have Skrims online, either for defense or harassment.



Cornflakes is obnoxiously dumping a bit of EP on me. Guess he really wants my graphs, heh. All beware Protective Skirms!

[Bobchillingworth]

REM made peace, which led to me discovering Jowy's borders and subsequently declaring war to gain more city visibility:






He'll almost certainly pop the scout, but that's fine. Visibility will give me some indication as to his tech level pre-alphabet by observing his structures, and that city represents currently the most likely point of contention between him and REM, outside of REM's capital (which I also have vision on).


Didn't send a peace offer yet, figured it would be insulting to try before he's had the opportunity to kill my unit. I was the one who initiated hostilities, after all.