Uncommonly Good: A Story of Elves

[Gaspar]

This is very wrong.

1) ALL situational promotions (i.e. not Combat N) work the same. Shock, guerilla, they are both a situational +40%.

2) Looking at which base strength the modifier is applying to is completely pointless because the only number that matters is the ratio of the two strengths. See here for more details.

Thanks, Seven.

I think Guerrilla is the way to go, when the Ogre gets to town. It won't help should I need to attack out against something redlined, but I don't trust the FFHpedia as far as I can throw it (and considering its virtual, I can't throw it anywhere) and so I feel safer with the precisely going to work promotion. Regardless of the exact specifics, the Ogre is going to have good odds on BB, its just a matter of dumb luck at this point. I'll leave the worker where he is as bait, much as I hate to lose a worker, I'd much rather hate to lose a city - Settlers are freaking expensive.

No, I didn't revolt to Nationhood/Apprenticeship because I didn't think of it in my panic.

Lastly, here's my proposed reply to Hippus (he seemed to want to RP, so I feel like I should reply in turn.)

You see a a heavy cloud of smoke on the horizon. Cheerful sounds of giggling accompany the smoke, and you think even the animals in the forest look happier than you'd expect. A small band of elves emerges from the smoke, laughing at apparently nothing, and stopping often, almost as if they're not motivated to complete their task. Finally, they reach your encampment after what seems like hours. One of the elves steps out in front of the others...

"Duuuuude," says the Elf.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuude," agrees the Elf behind him.

"Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," agrees the chorus of the remaining elves.

"Dude, hahahaha," says the second Elf.

"Dude. Here, man," says the lead elf again, first handing you a crude looking pipe, then absent-mindedly realizing his mistake, pulls back the pipe, bursts into laughter, and hands you a scroll on, naturally, paper made from hemp.

"Peace, dude, hahahaha," says the leader again, and the elves make their way giggling back into the cloud.

You open the scroll, a small, curious-smelling pouch falls out as you unravel the scroll. Ignoring it, you read:

"Greetings, Emissaries of the Rawkking-king,

Welcome to the lush and expansive forests of the Ljosalfar. We hope you enjoy your stay in the wilds, and encourage you to sample the local flora (we've enclosed some of our finest.) The Ljosalfar are a peace-loving tribe, and we hope to befriend the Horselords in a mutually beneficial relationship. Currently, we know little of the world outside the forests, as it is indeed a cruel world out there, beset on all sides by harsh peaks, strangling jungle and untamed waters. Only the serenity of the forests gives us comfort in this harsh world, though our people dream of an empire which has relations all over the world. We have met only one other tribe, a curious group of zombie lovers beneath the jungle who call themselves the Sheaim. Thus far, despite our differences, our relations have been peaceful and we hope that this peace lasts for many years.

What can the adventurous Horselords tell us of the rest of the world? We have heard rumors of a band of vicious clowns with a fearsome military? Are these "Balseraphs" located near you? Do you know any other tribes? We have also heard rumors of a band of Adventurers who eschew the Gods and get very lucky with huts, any word of them?

We ourselves have little else to share, other than a desire for peace. To that end, your leader alluded to a hope for passage for continued exploration. While we can indeed appreciate such a desire, we have not yet learned of the appropriate technology to make maps which would allow for the opening of borders to such outsiders, and as such, any incursion into the forests of the Ljosalfar would require a declaration of war. Unfortunately, given the presence of a local hostile band of Lizardman, we believe there exists the opportunity of unpleasant temptation which we cannot graciously accede to. The only path which we are aware of in which you may be able to reach lands south of our own without crossing our borders would be to loop around north of the mountain ridge which separates us from the rest of the world, any other route would require boats.

Is there anything else the Elves of Ljosalfar can assist you with? Please do send word if so.

Yours,
Gaspar, Leader of the Elvish High Council."

Thoughts? Too much RP? Not enough? Funny? Not funny?

[Mardoc]

I'll leave the worker where he is as bait, much as I hate to lose a worker, I'd much rather hate to lose a city - Settlers are freaking expensive.

No, if you're going to bait, bait him to 1SW of the current spot, directly south of the city. If he goes north first, we lose the river defense bonus. I'm pretty sure we want all the help we can get to have decent odds here.

Edit: Also, when the time comes to attack him to finish him (presuming it comes) - make sure to cross the river first, then attack. That forest he's standing in now ought to let us do that.

No, I didn't revolt to Nationhood/Apprenticeship because I didn't think of it in my panic.

Fortunately, it shouldn't affect the end result. With Remnants, it's a 3T warrior either way, and Apprenticeship, of course, matters only on the turn the warrior is born.

Lastly, here's my proposed reply to Hippus (he seemed to want to RP, so I feel like I should reply in turn.)

Thoughts? Too much RP? Not enough? Funny? Not funny?

I am freakin' impressed. No idea if it would work as diplomacy, but it definitely works as fiction.

Only worry is whether it would lose its luster with continued use, but we can always back off RP if RG is annoyed.

Edit2: Although it's extremely annoying that the game might come down to luck here - at least we know that it's someone's fault this time. Maybe we can even punish them eventually.

[Ravus Sol]

16 points for the Grigori, nowt else.

So yeah, as Mardoc and Rawkking have indicated, we're caught between a [strike]Monty Python flick[/strike] rock and a hard place. 8/9 ogre with dead aim at Hash Pipe and the Hippus NW. So it would appear the neighbors nearest west are Hippus and Clowns. Ravus, if I give you a dollar can we trade them for Monks and Adventurers?

Only a Dollar?

I'm guessing you don't trust the Hippus then Any other reasons for this apart from being named for Monty Python and wielding big clubs by your border?

An Ogre this early is very bad luck. Plus I had completely forgotten about Orthus...

[Gaspar]

No, if you're going to bait, bait him to 1SW of the current spot, directly south of the city. If he goes north first, we lose the river defense bonus. I'm pretty sure we want all the help we can get to have decent odds here.

Edit: Also, when the time comes to attack him to finish him (presuming it comes) - make sure to cross the river first, then attack. That forest he's standing in now ought to let us do that.


Fortunately, it shouldn't affect the end result. With Remnants, it's a 3T warrior either way, and Apprenticeship, of course, matters only on the turn the warrior is born.


I am freakin' impressed. No idea if it would work as diplomacy, but it definitely works as fiction.

Only worry is whether it would lose its luster with continued use, but we can always back off RP if RG is annoyed.

Edit2: Although it's extremely annoying that the game might come down to luck here - at least we know that it's someone's fault this time. Maybe we can even punish them eventually.

Duly noted. I'll move the worker and revolt next turn. Sadly will add a turn or two to the GSage but that can't be helped at this point.

FFH2 is a game of RNG affecting you all over the place. I lauded it early as part of what I thought was fun about it, though it sucks that the RNG seems to have favored the player most likely to jump ahead anyway. I think this little Ogre incident is probably the nail in our coffin. If we lose the Remnants city, we'll be so far behind I don't see how we can catch up to an already runaway clowns. As is I'm half debating beelining cultists and hoping we read the tea leaves right and the clowns have coastal cities. Regardless, we really can't afford setbacks with how slow the elves start already.

Only a Dollar?

I'm guessing you don't trust the Hippus then Any other reasons for this apart from being named for Monty Python and wielding big clubs by your border?

An Ogre this early is very bad luck. Plus I had completely forgotten about Orthus...

Well it is only a game. My desire to spend real money on it is relatively limited. Perhaps I could make $2 if you put the Sheaim on an island somewhere as well. I mistrust the Hippus for three reasons. 1. They're the Hippus. You don't take Hippus to play passively. 2. Given our postulating on geography, I assume he's met the clowns already. Given that his army is only slightly larger than ours, I'm going to assume 65k bullied him in diplomacy and if the Hippus want to rush someone, we might be a more realistic target. 3. They're right outside a city which is threatened by an ogre. If I let them in, and the Ogre doesn't finish the job, I have to assume they'll be tempted to do so themselves, I know I would be.

I sent the message to RG.

[NobleHelium]

This is very wrong.

1) ALL situational promotions (i.e. not Combat N) work the same. Shock, guerilla, they are both a situational +40%.

2) Looking at which base strength the modifier is applying to is completely pointless because the only number that matters is the ratio of the two strengths. See here for more details.

Okay, I reread about this. You're correct, I was considering things from the attacker's perspective. All situational modifiers are applied to the defender. I was thinking of it in terms of "applying to the other unit" which isn't the case.

[Man Behind the Mask]

I’m not sure I can actually think of very much positive to say.

Ok, so diplo first. Absolute top marks for style. . In terms of content, I think if we ignore roleplay than it’s better to assume peaceful intentions (which would be logical given that we are NOT the runaway). In that case I’d make the following observations:

• Presumably a NAP (preferably a long one!) would be a good idea. With that in place I don’t think that would even rule out a phoney war if RG is desperate to explore the jungle.
  
• My understanding of the turn order is Barbs-Hippus-Elves. In that case, we could really use some help from that warrior (promotions?) in dealing with our current issue. I’m sure we would be very grateful (terms can be proposed or negotiated, but can include maps when appropriate).
  

We should also go to Nicolae for anything he knows about how this happened!

And then the Big Issue (pun intended for our UK audience, given the potential fate of the citizens of Hash Pipe). Some Worldbuilder work is definitely in order very soon to work out how best to handle the situation (I’ve no idea why ogres would be classed as anything but melee). I completely agree that baiting the ogre onto the flat grassland tile is an excellent idea. Aside from that, I can’t really add much apart from my prayers to the RNG god.

Oh… I found something positive! We improved a place in both the GNP and MFG demos.

[Man Behind the Mask]

Here is the Hippus infodump for those who are interested. I’ll edit in extra stuff if I can get to the graphs/civics/trade info later.

• Settled first turn and went worker first.
  
• Tech pace has been pretty reasonable:
  [INDENT]
• Turn 11, probably Calendar
  
• Turn 23, should be Animal Husbandry
  
• Turn 28,
  
• Turn 32, likely that these are two from Ancient Chants, Exploration and Crafting (latter if the GNP is good)
  
• Turn 42, now it gets really tough without the graphs – mining, mysticism or festivals are most likely[/INDENT]
• Capital quickly grew to size 5, with pop increases at Turn 14, 17, 20 and 24.
  
• Land points as expected on Turns 20, 22 and 45; only missing one tile from the three rings
  
• Second city settled turn 35 (second to achieve that), with pop growths Turn 37, 40 and 43
  

I think they’re now rumbling along with cities of 5 and 4 stalled at the happy cap (50% approval rate appeared the turn they grew to those sizes). That suggests they haven’t got any happy resources connected (either no resources, no time or no roads). I suspect they’re in Agrarianism and presence of God King should provide some help on the last tech.

It’s possible they’ve gone for expensive techs and got huts (etc) nicely timed when they could have been researching something cheaper. However, it seems more likely they’ve had a pretty standard opening and have not yet had a big enough delay between discoveries for them to have Animal Husbandry.

Hoping for a friendly reply to your fun message.

[Mardoc]

So, I checked, it is indeed -40% for crossing a river. Assuming I added up the modifiers correctly, and Sareln's spreadsheet works, this should be BB's odds:


In addition, assuming Gaspar swaps to Nationhood/Apprenticeship this turn, and successfully baits the Ogre to flat land 1S of the city. After BB bites it (cause really, it's the stoner elves, they don't get lucky), we'll have three warriors within range to hit the Ogre next turn. BB has Spirit Guide, somehow, so we'll have at least two promotions on the warriors striking at the Ogre.

I think this can work out!

[Gaspar]

I suppose ultimately this means all that lair popping worked out. Had we not done that, BB wouldn't be promoted + spirit guide, and our odds would be even lower.

6 points each for the clowns and the monks.

Really hate doing the revolt this turn - GSage is 2T away right now. But little it matters if the game is over. Going to Nationhood + Apprenticeship and working the Remnants brings the warrior down to a 2T build and the GSage up to 3T.

I debate moving Almond Joy over to the tile next to the ruins, which would buy us another turn if our ogre friend chases. I decide its not worth the risk, so I move him 1S of Hash Pipe.



Here's demos. I'd give you the Hippus graphs, but I'm a bit demoralized on the game atm, so you'll have to wait until my thinking that it matters what we do at this point picks up.



Fucking Kyan.

[Gaspar]

I've got to say, I like Rawkking's style:

The knights in training huddle, whispering in hushed tones of what to make of the strange attitude of the elves. Eventually a rather pompous-looking squire begins to draft a letter in response to the elves’ missive.

It reads:
“To your west you will find the bit too hilly and well-forested lands for our liking lands of the Hippus. I must warn you that if you head in the same direction from where we came from you will also find yourself blocked by the cultural borders of our lands. To continue further you will have to startle the peasantry and merchants a significant deal, making any future trading between our empires less prosperous in the immediate future after such an incident. Also, if we both develop seafaring technology beyond simple rafts and canoes we will be able to trade between our empires over the coasts of these waters to the west of the city of Hash Pipe.

The Balseraphs are the neighbors of the Hippus, located on fertile fields of flood plains a ways to the south of our fair capital…but now even closer to our fair capital after they settled a city almost adjacent to our capital (<RP>6 tiles away</RP>). With the city quickly defended with a lizardman and elephant, we were forced to yield the land to them. It then became apparent that they have enlisted the help of the lizardmen that have set up lairs near both our empires to capture a menagerie of fearsome beasts, each one increasing their power even further. This would be worrying enough if they were not also growing fat off the bounty of their flood plains farm harvests (<RP>top crop yield</RP>), and similarly the leading nation in Erebus in manufacturing power and economic strength. We hope that the clowns’ inclusion of frivolous dances and other “cultural wonders” into their economic figures makes their economy less impressive than it seems, but the situation is still rath!
er worrying.

The clowns claim a peaceful tribe known as the Elohim and the godless Grigori lie in the distant west of the continent, and based on your claims of the Sheaim as neighbors this is probably the truth. Perhaps everyone has been paired up with another civilization, with other neighbors more distant.

In local news, the forests to the north of these peaks are indeed dangerous, as you say the land around here is. The aptly named Sir No-Longer-Appearing-In-This-PBEM was camping on a riverside hilltop several years ago when in the midst of the night a bear stealthily swam across the river and up the hill to his location, eating him alive despite extensive special training against animals. The bear, informally dubbed “Snookums the Terrible”, lurked menacingly on our borders before disappearing into the forests to our east. Should you head that way, be wary of him lest you become his next meal.

Do the peaks on your northern borders extend far enough to the east that we could not easily continue further that way? Surely by the time trade is established we would have recovered from the panic.”

The leader takes the missive and hands it to an elf that seems to at least be able to partially track the movement of the letter in his drug-induced haze, and then clears his throat.

“Well then, my good elves, I suppose we shall begin our march back to Camelot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAUkAMJBBZs) if we cannot continue further.” He pauses. “Or…maybe we shall not stop in Camelot. Well, then, peasants, get ready to—bloody peasants, where did they all go!?”

----------------

“Now you see, this is the kind of government I was talking about! A democratically elected government with total executive power shared by a council of the masses! Even their environmental policy se-“

“Oh will you shut up already? We just want to get high.”

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“We'll…we’ll set off to the west after a quick break, I suppose.”