Uberfish Circlecut was a human hero from the Ponderous Union, a nation on the other side of the Harmless Strait. Inspired by the accomplishments of the dwarves and elves, he decided to take up arms against the bandits pillaging the countryside.
However, first he would borrow some basic armour from a local fort and train his Defensive skills with the noble sport of crab wrestling in order to actually have a good chance of surviving those damn crossbows:
After a couple of days of intensive training he headed to the capital of the Ponderous Union, Blockfaint, which had problems with outlaws hiding in the dungeon... wait... that didn't make much sense but never mind.
Despite his Novice swordsman skills, having good stats from the crab training let him do good damage when he hit, and tactically striking at exposed limbs enabled the party to dispose of the weak outlaw band there without any serious injuries.
There was a ton of loot in the dungeon, enough to make up a full set of iron armour with plenty left over - he left it there as a repository for any future adventurers bold enough to claim it
Amusing stuff happens on autoattack sometimes (I have learned by now not to auto-attack by moving into things unless they're harmless or have had their weapon disabled)
Such as biting people in the head and shaking them around
Anyway, now fully equipped he decided to go see the dwarven bridge for himself, but on the way got ambushed by more bandits:
Their bowman got only one shot off before allowing Circlecut a clean headshot:
However two out of his three travelling companions were killed in the melee, leaving just a skilled Lasher.
Here is blockfaint, the line showing its position in relation to the bridge
There was a silly goblin encounter on the way to the bridge where goblins ambushed and were in turn attacked by a couple of rhinos. This did not go well for the goblins.
The rest of the trip across the bridge and to Empirestring was successful. Predictably, upon arrival at the official Empirestring Adventurers' HQ he received a quest to kill the goblin overlord in the catacombs, and I knew exactly where to go by now
Now this group of goblins included some highly skilled ones - a Spearmaster, an Elite Crossbowman, Hammer Lord and others. Our allied lasher unwisely rushed in and got outflanked with this result:
He was promptly killed. Uberfish had to back down to the corridor as goblins poured out in order to manage the crowd.
For some reason he felt the urge to bite a goblin in the eye.
The scene was one of total carnage.
The enemy spearmaster duelled with Circlecut for a bit then ran away as the boss showed. He was an elite bowman too, which was a bit scary, but eventually after blocking a few arrows he was caught by a chokehold:
and for some reason it takes FOREVER to strangle anything to death in this game
After all this fighting the Sword skill had levelled up considerably, and Armour User had become Master considerably decreasing the encumbrance of Circlecut's iron plate.
He reported the overlord's death and retrieved an Uberfish corpse.
The citizens of Empirestring were happy! Fairly predictably, the next quest was to avenge Shorelocked the elf who had fallen trying to clear out the nearby bandit camp.
This camp no longer had any archers, and Circlecut had great defence and armour, so clearing it out solo wasn't a problem.
Dead bodies of both good and bad guys were scattered around the camp.
Stats at this point since people wanted to see growth:
The townspeople of the Slippery Confederation were impressed and started directing him to the lords who had important quests.
so I decided to take this one on solo too. I guess as a lord quest the bandit group was tougher. Their armour was still weak/nonexistent but there were more of them including about 5 crossbows/archers. Circlecut was glad of his extensive shield training. Even so he pragmatically used a tree to block the line of sight to the enemy archers while taking on the first wave of their melee troops
Oh hey a clean shot to the head!
He then had to advance to take on more, and used a tactic of disabling the legs of melee troops to be able to run past them to the archers before they could get any lucky shots off
and trying to "disarm" the archers
he also had a bit of fun with throwing corpses and body parts at the enemy, although with his low skill they usually missed and didn't do any damage even if they connected
Then he got hit by a crossbow bolt and mortally wounded
Ok the mortal wound term was... misleading; it was only a bruised lung, the bolt not having penetrated his iron breastplate.
He rushed down the offending shooter and quickly cut her down
Then threw her corpse at someone
I couldn't find the previous Uberfish corpse but at least he was avenged! There was some small sized armour here and I took it back to the Empirestring Adventurer HQ stash.
Impressed by the heroic deeds of Circlecuts the lord offered him a scary quest.