The Twisted History of Variants by LemmingofGlory

(which may or may not be relatively factual)

On the first day, the great Woody said, "Let there be nudity! No, people would just think you died and lost your items... BEYOND Nudity!"

And the Beyond Naked Mages sprang up from the most unsavory of objects, such as Hyena boils and Jackal sputum. And the BNMs frolicked in Tristram happily, though they often scared away people with their ... erm... "special"... taste in fashion. ("Excuse me, have you seen my Bent Staff of Disease?"... "AHH!!! *runs away*")

Life was good, more or less. But soon people began to think, "Those BNMs are having all the fun. Being normal sucks." And other variants emerged, such as the dim but lovable Barbarian, the Apprentice Mage, the five-finger-discount duo (Pirate and Thief), the elitist Snobs, those who dote upon he whose tracks do not match (Patrons of Wirt), and many others. And the Great Woody hosted all of these wonderful variants in his Asylum.

And then came the Charis. Oh, yes, the scary, scary Charis. With him he brought a landmark variant: the Amazon! Though all was not well in the head, for the Amazon brought with it torrents of, as described by Cyrene, Can't Find The Boss Angst and the need for Rules Printout! Despite these seemingly scary turns of events, they only served to further dement the minds of those who were contained within the Asylum. And thus the Charis began to change the landscape of variants.

He started a site of his own to host his variants - and many did he have! Variants sprang from the Charis like weeds from a Chia Pet! And what's more, he playtested them all (dotted; made "official")! Official variants were tried-and-true characters, and with so many to choose from players were sucked into the gaping maw of the Asylum. While many escaped, some did not...

At some point of indeterminate time (that is, it is a time that I cannot determine for I was not yet present as an Asylum patient), the one known only as the KingOfPain showed up. He also started a variant site of his own, and began hosting variants there as well. Both the Charis and the King of Pain released many excellent strategy articles and raised the bar of gaming - not least of all with their heroic exploits in Ironman games.

And then the Great Woody left. He was clubbed over the head by Real Life (a most vicious and cruel demon immune to all forms of damage!) and dragged off into the eerie Outside World. (Oh, horrors!)

At some point the Lemming happened to show up with his Hamster variant. Soon after he released the Lemming and Squirrel variants, which were followed by the Friend of Farnham and others. He hoped for his variants as well as those by other people - at least the ones which were half-decent - to have a home on a variant website.

And then the Realms Beyond Diablo site was born. Charis and KingOfPain together launched it, and it is the very site which you are currently reading! GASP! How did I know you were reading it? Perhaps psychic powers! And you now owe me $4.99 x the number of minutes you've spent reading this article for my expert psychic reading. Cash and credit card accepted. Make checks payable to-

*SMACK!* OW! Fine, fine, back to the history.

Soon afterwards the tides of time brought a new demon: Diablo 2. It sucked the patients of the Asylum into the illogical void in which it exists. The RBD forum suddenly sprang to life, and the Asylum's doors clanged shut. It was left to sit quietly, alone and abandoned. (Though some disturbed individuals can still be found lurking around in the empty rooms...)

The RBD had a bright goal: To host more variants than have ever been hosted before! This goal was, shall we say, delayed as Diablo 2 tortured its webmasters and forced them to PLAY! PLAY! PLAY! its deadly game of Crackmonkey Roulette™.

As Diablo 2 reached half a year old Lemming launched a site of his own. The RBD was taking quite a long time in getting up its variants section, and it only intended on hosting those variants which were dotted in D1. Lemming's vision was broader in scope. He hosted variants which he harvested from the backpages of the Asylum (forum), even those which were ignored! If they were reasonably playable, they were given a home on the Sylvan Cliffs. And so the Cliffs became home to Lemming's variants and the Forum's Forgotten Refugees. (The RBD also hosts Lemming's variants, and other variants which were previously hosted on other sites.)

And so both sites grew in size, with the RBD handling the heaviest traffic and the Cliffs handling whatever traffic was still interested in variants after reading the RBD. And then, out of nowhere, the Great Woody returned!, and there was much rejoicing.

He re-opened the Asylum at a new location and shut the doors of the old one. Yet within a few months everything mysteriously vanished over night. The new Asylum, the new Forum, everything. To this day nobody knows the fate of the Woody, save Woody himself. His escape from the void of Real Life and back to Tristram was fleeting, it seems. 'Tis believed that he was once again reeled back into that physical world... a world where nobody can see how many exclamation marks you use when you scream!!

Another event that occurred slightly before the return of Woody was the first release of the Variant Archive, compiled by Lemming. At first it housed all variants which were hosted on the Cliffs, yet it soon expanded to house those on the RBD as well. And so, in its current form, it is a downloadable tome of variant goodness that covers the entire Diablo universe, from D1 to Hellfire to D2 to Lord of Destruction.

Soon after, it seemed that yet again the foul grasp of Real Life was choking and gagging the variant community! The Charis and the KingOfPain were both simultaneously incapacitated by the Life fiend who is all too Real, so they turned to the one of prophecy: Griselda. Working with the team Griselda was able to help bring life back to the RBD by taking it out back and beating the dust out of it like an old rug. The dust, thick and o'er 6 months old, gave fierce battle! The gaseous nature of disturbed dust was near fatal, though through the choking smog the RBD emerged brand-new!

And now, friends, you see the RBD as it is now: Flourishing. It grows bounded only by the balance of site work/gaming juggled masterfully by her new masters. And what's more, it has broadened its scope. No longer is it merely the Realms Beyond Diablo, 'tis now... The Realms Beyond. To seek out and explore Civilization, and boldly bring the Craft of War where it has never gone before! (Var Trek! *rimshot*)

That is the history of variant sites, as best Lemming knows it.

Realms Beyond According to Sirian