So cut to the chase - Commodore got an MG in Kiki - here's the setup:
After sending in all the cannons and most of the cats, we're left with this:
C1 Rifle vs. Machine Gun 8.5/18 (34.7%) = LOSS, no damage
C1 Rifle vs. Machine Gun 8.5/18 (34.7%) = WIN!
This left a bastard CG1 rifle as top defender. We sent in the last 3 cats leaving this:
C1 Rifle vs C1 Rifle 9.7/14 (46.1%) = WIN!
C1 Rifle vs D2 Cannon (68.8%) = LOSS, cannon to 4.1
C1 Rifle vs D2 Cannon (68.8%) = LOSS, cannon to 1.4
C1 Rifle vs D2 Cannon (68.8%) = LOSS, cannon to 6.7
(At this point Noble rages about letting me play the turn)
C1 Rifle vs D2 Cannon (68.8%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Rifle 6.9/14 (68.6%) = LOSS, rifle to 2.4
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Musket 5.7/9 (86.3%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Longbow 3.8/6 (95.6%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Longbow 3.8/6 (95.6%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Musket 4.8/9 (95.8%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs C1 Musket 4.5/6 (98.1%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs C2/Pinch Knight 7.3/10 (96.9%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs D2 Cannon 6.7/12 (99.1%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs CG1 Longbow 3.1/6 (99.1%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs D2 Catapult (99.9%) = WIN
C1 Rifle vs C2 Landsknecht 3.3/6 (99.9%) = WIN
C3 Knight vs. CG1 Rifle 2.4/14 (99.0%) = WIN
C3 Knight vs. C1 Spearman 2.0/4 (99.9%) = WIN
C1 Knight vs. Axeman 2.7/5 (99.5%) = WIN
Knight vs. D2 Cannon 4.1/12 (99.7%) = WIN
Unpromoted Spearman vs. D2 Cannon 1.4/12 (98.8%) = WIN
That was indeed satisfying.
Noble will finish the turn later.