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The 20 mile walk to go 10 feet.
Lurker Wyrm -
24 Aug 2006
"That's just disgusting," said Buffy as she stepped
over the remains of an undead necromancer, its remains still oozing with juices
and the smell of rotting flesh. They were in the middle of negotiating with the
White Mantle for passage through Kryta when there was a surprise attack by the
undead (you knew it was a surprise because one of the White Mantal Savans screamed
louder than a cartoon elephant confronted by a mouse). Although the attack was
squishy and gooey, it wound up being a blessing in disguise for the notoriously
known nudists negotiating neir nay ninto Nion's Narch... Scratch that.
They
needed help getting into Lion's Arch and these undead were their ticket in. They
had 2 choices: help the Mantle beat back the onslaught (granted, they outnumbered
the undead but who's counting?) or help the undead lay the smack-down on the Mantle
and take the city by force. Since the main goal was to re-settle and live in peace
with the Krytans, they opted for Plan A. (It
should be mentioned at this juncture that Vex was acting like a kid in a candy
store with all the dead stuff to fulfill her necrophiliac nature. Right, necromancer
nature, not necrophiliac.) Buffy,
having been elected the person who has to talk to all the boring people because
of her little run-in with Arty (ker-plow), negotiated with the Mantle that if
they wiped out the undead plagueing the nearby forest, the Ascalonians would get
access to Lion's Arch. And so they set out... to go kill the dead. "I
see undead people!" said Angela, spotting a group of undead harrassing some
poor farmers trying to plant crops. "Oh the humanity! Not only are they hurting
the living, but they're crop killers as well!" "CHARGE!!!"
was the battle cry as the two forces collided and clashed and communicated with
violence. The skirmish was soon over. Good guys: 4, bad guys: 1. Yup. Angela went
down right as the fight started. Sanskirt was too busy smiting the bad guys to
notice and Stargazer was reeling from the awful stench coming from the undead
when it happened. "Oops,"
said Stargazer as she started the ritual for resurrecting the recently departed
who are not totally dead yet. In
the meantime Arty had gone off on his own and came back with a pig. "Isn't
he cute?" he said, "his name is Oink." "How
do you know that?" asked Buffy. "Hey,
little pig, what's your name?" Arty asked the pig. "Oink,"
the pig replied. "There
you have it." And
thus, the group had a new friend. For a while anyway. Their beating up of the
undead led them to a small village on the outskirts of Lion's Arch where the group
got more information about the undead menace, and where Oink ran off and found
his family. The family was so over-joyed at the return of their pet that they
gave the heroes a reward. Yeah right. The old guy wanted them to go play fetch
for some old book. Huzzah. Well, it wasn't even remotely on their way so they
decided to get the thing. After
retrieving said book, they went in search of the White Mantle field commander,
Justicar Hablion. They found him loafing around on the beach. Apparently there
was a swamp nearby with a bunch of undeads infesting it and one big bad undead
leading them. Hablion was about to go in himself and take them out -- yeah right
-- but decided to let the naked chicks and Arty do it. How about that? Some guy
in big thick armor hiding from the undead behind girls, and Arty, who had virtually
nothing to protect them. Being used to that sort of thing, they all accepted and,
amidst the cheering and jeering of the Mantle, went off to find the big bad undead
boss. No sooner did they find the boss than they led him back to the White Mantle
(Hablion was long gone) who were waiting in ambush. He lasted a good 10 seconds. Once
the boss was dead, Hablion suddenly appeared again, spreading his congratulations
to the group. "Hey, I like you guys," he said. "You were cunning,
tricky and good runners: just what the White Mantly needs. How'd you like to join
up with us? We've got a great dental plan." "We'll
think about it," said Buffy. "For now, can we go to Lion's Arch? My
feet are killing me." "Sure,
ok," said Hablion, as the bridge to Lion's Arch was lowered and they made
their way in along with the refugees that had started arriving during their escapades
with the Mantle. And
that's how they (finally) made it to Kryta. Surely this would finally give them
a well deserved rest after all of their constant trials. | 
